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LIFE'S A DRAG

Why “Drag Race” should give these 8 queens a shot at Rudemption

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Eureka’s surprise departure from the competition has already set up a “returning queen” twist for Season 10. Like Shangela and Cynthia Lee Fontaine before her, she’ll be given a shot at Rudemption and a second chance at the crown. But if for any reason she couldn’t (or simply didn’t want to) return, you have to wonder: which hopefuls from the past would make the most of a second lap?

Here are our choices for eight queens who could slay the next season.

1. Victoria “Porkchop” Parker

This one is a no-brainer. As the first person ever to get the chop, she has the most to gain from a new beginning. Plus, she didn’t have the advantage of knowing what she was getting into; the queens in her year were setting precedents rather than following them. She already had plenty of experience behind her the first time she was cast. Imagine what she’d be capable of now that she understands the ins and outs of the race.

2. Lashauwn Beyond

Season 4’s second sashayer gave us the classic quote, “this is not RuPaul’s Best Friend Race,” and for that alone, we owe her. At the time, she didn’t have the confidence needed to excel in the challenges. But she’s a well-rounded queen who was known even at the time for constructing looks for other performers, so a little aging and ripening might have refined her to the point where she’d be ready to show up and show out.

3. Kelly Mantle

Another established performer that the show jettisoned early, Ms. Mantle has been a television mainstay for many years. Given the resume she has built, it’s possible that she simply doesn’t need the validation of a win at this point, but if she came back, it’d be a blast to see what this comedienne could deliver if she made it to Snatch Game.

4. Jasmine Masters

Her name is Jasmine Masters, and she has something to say. Is there a chance in Hell she’d snatch the crown? Absolutely not. But would she create excellent television every step of the way? You bet your padded ass. She’s the reason we had a message from Patti LaBelle at the reunion special, and her stream-of-consciousness YouTube uploads have churned out iconic memes like factories. Let her back into the workroom, and she’s guaranteed to entertain the masses.

5. Alisa Summers

Another Season 4 alum, she was sent home in the first challenge for lacking style and polish. But, like Shangela before her, she had potential for a newbie, and another few years might have done her well. She was pretty and witty, and contestants have gotten by on less than that before. I want to know what other tricks she has up her sleeve.

6. Nicole Paige Brooks

Admit it: when you see her name written, you hear it said out loud, he her voice, with the kind of emphasis usually reserved for shouting at crowds through a megaphone. This lanky luminary might have burned out early (and her recent run-ins with the law certainly don’t bode well), but the internet can’t decide if its love affair with her is ironic or not, and bringing her back would be a great way to figure that out.

7. Tempest DuJour

Poor Tempest. Ru really put her through the ringer. Beyond the indignity of being Season 7’s first kill, she was brought back from the dead only to lose a second lip sync. She’s got humor, heart, and an old-school style that too often gets overshadowed by the more modern girls. Give her the relief of being safe for just one challenge. She’s earned it.

8. Serena ChaCha

No, really, hear me out on this one. Season 6’s divisive diva was mouthy and immature during her time on the show, and rightly deserved to be sent packing almost immediately. But if anyone would gain from showing the audience that she’s turned over a new leaf, it’s Serena. Since sashaying, she’s been taken on by Lineysha Sparx as a drag daughter. If her personality has matured as much as her aesthetic, then she could win back America’s respect and maybe even the crown outright.

Comment below with your thoughts on these queens, or let us know who you’d rather see come back to the competition.

Chris Kelly performs under the drag name Ariel Italic; follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and her blog!

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8 Comments

  • Nowuvedoneit

    Nicole Paige Brooks is going away for a long time, she was arrested for some heavy drug charges.

  • DCguy

    Pork Chop is a no brainer, She also won a national pagent, she just didn’t know how to sew, and lets face it, Ru was not as welcoming to the larger queens back then, it was all about Pretty until the backlash got nasty.

    So Season 1 Pork Chop and I could see Jade from Season 1 also,

    Season 2 Morgan McMichaels
    Season 3 Delta Work
    Season 4 Willam of course, but if we’re going further down, then “The Princess”
    Season 5 PennyTration or Jade Jolie
    Season 6 April, Gia, or Kelly, but come on, I would LOVE to see the level of bitterness Magnolia Crawford could bring.
    Season 7 Max
    Season 8 Acid Betty (Maybe Laila McQueen if she drinks some RedBull)

    • Nowuvedoneit

      Magnolia quit drag altogether., last I heard.

    • DCguy

      @ Nowuvedoneit, Even better, bitter AND out of practice?! Now that would be a fun first episode. lol

  • He BGB

    I don’t remember any of these queens except NPB. None ever really make a huge impression unless they have Talent like Ru does. And drag queens progress and change and evolve. Today they wouldn’t be the same as they were then. Maybe they learned to sew by now. Ru lost his makeup or wig person and also seems to be out of drag more. Raven is doing Ru’s,makeup I heard.

  • Lvng1Tor

    I think that all the 1st eliminated queens from each season should get to come back for a RuDemption short 8 episode season.

  • BigJune

    Just been listening to a Drag Fever Podcast with Kennedy Davenport stating how RuPaul likes the coin more than she likes the queens, she was Kennedy was speaking on a Wendy Experience Podcast, Wendy stated when she has spoke with Ru, Ru has said she has 4 shows on the go at the moment & would gladly take a fifth, so come on VH1 & Ru get together & put this Rudemption show together, soon!

    Look at the following All Stars gets?

    Whoever gets invited to appear, Pork Chop is a must, plus bring those queens who pushed the envelope, took major criticism who have added to & made the show more accepting to different aesthetics – Milk for one & Acid Betty.

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