generation gap

Are Gen Z guys more prudish than other gays? Here’s what they had to say…

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Are adults born after 1997 more puritanical about sex? One Reddit user told his brethren in the r/AskGayMen subreddit that he has noticed that Gen Z guys are “very prudish” and even “weird about sex.”

“Whether it’s not wanting it period (which is fine, nothing wrong with that, but a surprising number seem to not), being slut shame-y about how many guys others have slept with/posting pics and such online, or just hating the apps (which I do get) with a burning passion that seems a little surprising (I get it, they suck, but there’s a reason people are on them, and it’s not just for ‘easy sex’) … is something up or am I just imaging things?”

Reddit users from various generations weighed in, but let’s hear from the guys who identified as Gen Z (or, at least, on the cusp).

Here are some of their responses, tidied up for readability.

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“I’m Gen Z, and I think the thing to understand is that we aren’t as well socialized as previous generations. Most generations socialized in person, so they could build relationships more easily. We socialize mostly online and spend more time physically away from people… Also, a lot of us were exposed to not safe for work content from an early age… so I think all that makes us a bit different from older generations… As for me, personally, I definitely don’t fall into the category of prudish in any way shape or form, lol.”

“I’m Gen Z, and I just don’t want to bone. Like, I’m fine being in an orgy, but I’d rather not.”

“As a Gen Z (23), for me personally, the one thing that likely influences this behavior is our lack of in-person socialization, which makes it a lot harder to jump into things like sex when we can’t even meet the bare minimum of socializing in person. It makes the thought of sex, especially with a stranger, all the more daunting and terrifying. It’s like when the act of going up to someone to make friends is so scary already, sex is a whole new ballpark. I feel in general, we tend to want to know someone a bit more and for a lot longer before really thinking about having anything physical with them. That’s at least how I and quite a few of my friends feel on the matter.”

“I definitely think a lot of them are more judgmental. I’m a zillennial, and it is weird to me because they are more progressive with their politics but a lot of them have these weird conservative takes on sex and partying. To be honest, I think it has to do with social media. They seem really concerned about their image and how others perceive them, which I think stems from being on social media from a young age. I also see some of them just parroting stuff from their favorite influencers. But anyway, it’s not all Gen Z, it is just a portion of them. And I think the older ones are starting to realize that they have been doing this and turning a new leaf.”

“They are! Gen Z here (25) and yes. The shaming attitudes you’re talking about, they did that in school, too. … I have a few [ideas about why], and the biggest one stems from when we were in elementary and middle school, mainly. During our formative years, everyone encounters things that are going to make them uncomfortable, but that’s part of the learning process. Whenever people were not comfortable with something for whatever reason, regardless of the logic behind it, they had the option to be removed from it. A lot of our parents did that. Mine did not, but I have noticed in my peers whose parents raised them in an echo chamber and made their life cater to all of their comforts, it’s resulted in them being [biased against] different people and concepts (like kink, which is a concept). And I think the worst part of all of it is, even into adulthood, they will recognize the ways that they were sheltered, and instead of trying to actively go out and explore different things they have never explored before, they mostly tend to stay in their comfort zone. This also shows emotionally because a lot of them have a really hard time dealing with uncomfortable emotions. This isn’t unique to my generation, but I definitely think it adds to the problem. They’re not as progressive as people think. There are some things we do better than previous generations, but we’re not actually progressive. Far from it.”

Both the Los Angeles Times and IndieWire have noticed that Gen Z just isn’t having sex and consuming sexual content like past generations. As the Times reported this August, the University of Chicago’s General Social Survey found in 2021 that three in 10 Generation Z males, aged 18 to 25, reported not having had sex in the prior year.

Jean Twenge, a San Diego State University psychology professor, attributed that finding to what she called the “slow-life factor,” noting to the Times that young people are putting off milestones like getting their driver’s licenses, going to college, and moving out of their parents’ homes.

“In times and places where people live longer and education takes longer, the whole developmental trajectory slows down,” Twenge added. “And so for teens and young adults, one place that you’re going to notice that is in terms of dating and romantic relationships and sexuality.”

And in October, IndieWire reported on the results of a study by UCLA’s Center for Scholars & Storytellers, which found that Gen Z wanted to see more platonic relationships and less sex in film and TV. “

“While it’s true that adolescents want less sex on TV and in movies, what the survey is really saying is that they want more and different kinds of relationships reflected in the media they watch,” Dr. Yalda T. Uhls, founder of CSS and co-author of the study, told IndieWire.

“We know that young people are suffering an epidemic of loneliness, and they’re seeking modeling in the art they consume. While some storytellers use sex and romance as a shortcut to character connection, it’s important for Hollywood to recognize that adolescents want stories that reflect the full spectrum of relationships.”

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