Straights Steal Shit Stabbing?

Bottoms Going Belly Up?

Michael Musto’s Village Voice column reads like a eulogy this week as the gossipy gay mourns the loss of Gayville’s greatest heroes: bottoms.

Mr. Musto contends:

The weird news in gay land is that no one’s a bottom anymore (except for a certain downtown promoter with a flair for double penetration). Tragically enough, a whole generation of bottoms passed on some time ago, and then came a whole new generation that learned from day one that being a wide-end receiver is risky, so they’ve always been testy and squeamish about it. That’s perfectly understandable, but as a result, virtually every gay on the market today is a versatile top—or “vers top,” if you prefer—”though I’ll bottom for the right guy,” they always add with a noble flourish.

Yeah, right! All those “vers tops” are just big nelly bottoms who want nothing more than to get all sorts of fucked in the ass. They just don’t want you to think they want to get fucked. Case-in-point: the hole whole of Chelsea.

Gawker’s Choire Sicha points out that dick-loving sexpot Dan Savage’s “Savage Love” column contends straights have a monopoly on the poop chute. Enraged by such a travesty of sexual shenanigans, Sicha writes, “Straight people will co-opt anything. Even kinda embarrassing and maybe conceptually dubious gladiator-ey sex practices.” A new topic for the HRC gay debates, perhaps?

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  • cjc

    No bottoms? Puh-leeze, Mary, look outside Manhattan for God’s sake. Come to Atlanta, where for some reason, there are more bottoms per capita than anywhere else.

  • mozzer13

    Versatile just means bottom with an agenda.

  • Allen

    Come visit Minneapolis/ Saint Paul … the Land of 10,000 bottoms … I mean, Lakes.

    That’s right … Lakes. ;)

  • Gregg

    um – are you kidding me? Try checking out Manhunt or pretty much any other site. Bottoms abound. Heck, Instinct Magazine constantly joking about the lack of tops in LA.

    Methinks Musto is mistaken.

  • BillieXX

    Why all the hate for the bottom? Love them. Love them. Love them.

  • ultraaman

    I think I understand what he’s getting at. There are still tons of bottoms out there (thank you Lord in Heaven) but the need to hide it or pretend to be something else seems to be more prevalent. Cruise thru Manhunt here in Salt Lake and it’s full of “Ask Me” or tops with tons of pics of their asses who are coy beyond belief. More guys today seem uptight about bottoming and won’t embrace what they enjoy. That takes some of the fun out of it for me and sex should be fun, not a load of “let me validate your manhood so you don’t feel violated”. Jesus, I have to do that already with str8 boys.

    And CJC you are so right! When I lived in FL, I loved visiting Atlanta.

  • Dawster

    Michael Musto… the same guy who said in the early 1980’s that Madonna “wasn’t going anywhere”.

    if you need bottoms, head to Dallas, where the bottoms are so big they have to climb on top of telephone poles to get off. Atlanta has the ‘default’ bottoms (too much drinking and/or drugs, can’t get it up, so they just fall over and bottom). HAHA!

    Quote: “a whole generation of bottoms passed on some time ago, and then came a whole new generation that learned from day one that being a wide-end receiver is risky…”

    okay… he makes it sound like bottoms are diseased and died off because of it. i don’t like that connotation one bit. i think it’s tragically wrong.

    we should celebrate bottoms, not condemn. I hate when these types of articles are taken seriously… because it’s just another bad “editorial” fluff time waster – all babble with no accuracy or substance… (which brings me to South Florida bottoms…….. lol!).

  • nycstudman

    Musto is funny, but the dude’s take on gay “culture” comes 3rd-hand. I mean, come on, I like the guy but look at him! He just doesn’t know from serious crusing, online or off.

  • Jack Jett


    how is it that you know that musto’s take on gay culture is 3rd hand? what do you mean by look at him?

    can you share with us what YOU think he should write about based on the way he looks.

    you seem to be opinionated with other folks looks, yet we don’t know what you look like.

    i could come on here a refer to myself as
    davebeckhamwith14inches but could really look like jack e. jett.

    if you really are from nyc, you should feel proud to have a michael musto who really gives a shit about the gay community and has the ability to write with humor and flair.

    some of us are stuck in cities where our gay radio is run by christian lesbians and clear channel.

    so nycstud…..can you post a photo of you or send us a link cause enquiring minds want to know……are you mario lopez or super mario?

    jack jett

  • afrolito



  • nycstudman

    oooooh double snap y’all! Triple snaps. You go, girlfriend. You’s fee-ahs!

  • teddy b

    come to seattle if you need 1200 bottoms in one night… 92% of them will let you bareback them, too, without batting an eyelash…

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