Hooking up has never been easier thanks to apps like Grindr, SCRUFF, and Tindr. But does having an endless supply of eager guys at your disposal make you more or less picky when it comes to selecting just who you get naked with?
A new study from the Queensland University of Technology finds that hookup apps are actually making people less choosey about their sexual partners.
Researches poured over the dating profiles of more than 40,000 singles ages 18 t0 80 and looked at nearly 220,000 contact decisions in an effort to determine how people are selecting mates in the digital age. What they discovered was that online daters are becoming more and more lax about their “check list” of criteria potential partners must meet to be considered a viable option.
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“We looked at whether or not people actually contact people who match what they say is their ideal partner in their profile, and our findings show they don’t,” researcher Stephen Whyte says. “Stating a preference for what you are looking for appears to have little to no bearing on the characteristics of people you actually contact.”
Whyte believes one of the reasons people are more likely to settle could be because they’re tired of trying to find that perfect person in a cornucopia overflowing with options. It’s like searching for a needle in a haystack. Eventually, you just give up and go for the next best choice.
“People may state a preference for an ideal partner,” he continues, “but they are more than happy to initiate contact with potential love interests that bear no resemblance whatsoever to that ‘Mr or Mrs Perfect’ they initially think they prefer over all others.”
Related: If your dating profile says “No Asians” then you’re a “trash gay,” Korean comedian says
So what’s the takeaway?
“Disclosure of ‘ideal’ partner preferences is a widely offered and commonly-used option for people creating a profile on online dating websites, but whether it’s effective or useful in helping people find that special someone is unclear,” Whyte says.
Or, as the Independent puts it: “So if you lower your standards, the chances are everyone else has too, so you may just meet the one as a result.”
What do you think? Do you find yourself lowering your standards when it comes to online dating? Or are you just as picky as ever? Share your experience in the comments below…
Gian85
I am not picky. I would rim Trump.
JerseyMike
The best sex I have ever had was with a guy I would not look at twice on the street. He wasn’t ugly or out of shape just wasn’t my type. Let’s just say he changed my view on my likes and dislikes.
Me2
So true! That’s happened to me too.
surreal33
Low self-esteem is rampant in the gay community, therefore, if don’t have a foundation of self-love it is easy to mistreat others. Disrespect, coldness, recklessness, comes from within and the way gay men treat each other online, in person, is a reflection of what is going inside yourself. As a gay man if you feel (due to cultural condition) you are not worth love, respect and happiness it resonates how you treat other gay men.
1898
Is it “settling” or “lowering standards,” or is that some people are being less picky or being more openminded than their profiles seem to indicate?
There are a lot of extremely picky people on these apps; it would be nice to think that some of them are broadening their horizons. That doesn’t mean they’re “settling” or “lowering their standards.” (That’s like saying that someone whose favorite food is Kraft Macaroni & Cheese is lowering his standards if he decides to be brave and tries eating at a Thai restaurant for the first time.)
bbg372
Or people have different standards for casual and serious relationships. Someone need not be a perfect relationship match in order to date or have sex with him. And that is largely what people use “dating” apps for.
Jack Meoff
The problem with these studies is that they assume these apps are being used as dating tools in the context of finding a partner when the reality is that they are basically being used for multiple hook ups by guys who prefer quantity over quality. Guys may state certain preferences on their profiles for the sake of appearances but will often hook up with a much broader selection of guys (translated to mean almost anyone). There have already been multiple articles on this site about guys hooking up outside of what they state they are looking for on their profiles whether it is age or race etc. so it should be no surprise that this study shows the same result. Is it a case of lowering standards or were their standards already lower than stated on their profiles?
Windsor519
But outside the large, wealthy gay-populated cities these apps ARE how people find each other for something more than a hookup. I think it’s worth saying that while these apps have brought us in contact with guys we’d otherwise never meet, their very long lists of requirements tell me that they have no idea what being realistic is in the gay world. We have 2-3% of the male population that is interested in other guys. If we were straight and had over 90% more choices, yea – I could understand the pickiness and requirements. But let’s face it: in many cities you’re just lucky to find a guy who is into guys and forget about the ‘be under 30 look perfect have a new car etc’.
Along with the easy access to online porn, these apps have taught a new generation of gay men that they’re worthless unless they look like the models/actors in gay porn, and that we are never good enough for each other: not only must you be young and look great, you better have a masters degree, nice car and high-paying job. I got out of the whole gay dating/hookup app thing because it’s just too depressing to see how these gay men demand equal rights from society and then turn around and treat one another this badly. It’s as if you’re not even worth being alive unless you meet all their criteria to be good enough for them to talk to.
Heywood Jablowme
It’s up to you. You should put up a dating and/or hookup profile to say you’re looking for a fat, out of shape, over 30, car-less, high school dropout, who works in the fast food industry.
In exchange, we in the big cities will stop demanding “equal rights from society” until you find a boyfriend. Because OBVIOUSLY those two things are connected! (eye roll)
stevetalbert
I think the term “equal rights” means something different to what you think it means. People deserve equal rights. The fight is over if the status of all thrse people are the same and, so, “deserve” to have equal rights.
That has NOTHING to do with personal decisions on who one woukd want to meet and or have sex with. Equals rights does not mean equal outcomes and typically does not mean equal opportunities. People have differences in wealth, looks, mental abilities, talents, personalities, and places they want to live.
stevetalbert
I think the term “equal rights” means something different to what you think it means. People deserve equal rights. The fight is over if the status of all thrse people are the same and, so, “deserve” to have equal rights.
That has NOTHING to do with personal decisions on who one woukd want to meet and or have sex with. Equals rights does not mean equal outcomes and typically does not mean equal opportunities. People have differences in wealth, looks, mental abilities, talents, personalities, and places they want to live. And size. Guys have different equipment sizes,, not that that matters but so ive be told..
Alan down in Florida
Of course it lowers standards. Dating is meant to find someone special with the possibility of commitment in the future. Dating apps make self-proclaimed 10s realize they’re really only 7s or 8s. Adapt or die.
stevetalbert
But they still claim 10.
stevetalbert
People on dating apps have standards???!!