Famous Lezzie Joins AOL

What do you do when your father’s a dick? If you’re Mary Cheney, you support his vice-presidential re-election bid and never make a peep about gay rights issues. Mary Cheney once worked for Coors Beer to change that company’s image in the LGBT community after it sponsored a campaign against our rights.

Mary Milk Carton

Yet when it came to impacting the nation’s attitude towards our civil rights, the vice president’s daughter acted like the lesbian cat got her tongue. Alan Keyes, who was running for an Illinois Senate seat, said Mary, like all other gay people, was a sinner and a selfish hedonist. Even then, V.P. Cheney, though a Dick, didn’t have the balls to stand up to odious Republican bigotry.

Now comes a rumor that Mary Cheney has been hired by AOL to whip up GLBT content. If past is prologue, the rugs at AOL are going to be bulging with everything that gets swept under them. We also hear that Mary is writing a memoir; no word on if it includes mention of her mother Lynne’s novel “Sisters,” which included a heaving bossoms lesbian love subplot.