Gay porn directors, break out your legal pads, because you’ll be taking some notes. Reddit users in the AskGayMen community have been listing the turn-offs that turn XXX films into total buzzkills.
For many of the commenters on the thread, socks are a nuisance in NSFW fare. “Feet are very expressive,” one person argued. “Are those toes curling or not? Homosexuals want to know!”
Other people begged to differ, though. “The socks make it relatable,” another commenter added. “My feet get cold sometimes!”
Here are other comments from the thread, edited for readability.
“When the guys look so similar that you don’t realize it was a flip f—k.” (“Oh… my… god… You read my mind,” another commenter added. “Sometimes I’m like, ‘Is that the original top? Oh, no, he has the Apple Watch. This top has a mole on his inner thigh… so they flipped!’”)
“Too hardcore, not enough intimacy.” (Another Redditor replied, “I started watching massage porn. It’s kinda filling the void.”)
“Over-dramatic moaning. Also, a ‘first timer’ when it’s obvious the guy is a pro because ‘it’ just slips in with no effort.”
“When they play music!” (“Yes!” exclaimed another user. “Let me hear the guys. The worst is when it’s like new age or classical. I’m not here to jerk off to Enya, thank you.”)
“When the top is too busy looking into the damn camera instead of being in the moment with the bottom. I hate that shit.”
Ah, young love.
“I prefer the full shot of the guys, like a wide shot. I hate when it’s just a closeup.”
“The glug-glug fake gagging noises and performative bottoms.”
“Not enough vocal tops or not showing the top’s face. … Everyone deserves mind-melting orgasms, and I wish they showed the tops getting that too.”
“Not enough romance/sensuality. And above all, the fake moaning. That’s horrendous.”
“The haircuts. I’m sorry, but these damn side buzz with curls or the ice cream cuts just turn me off. And it’s all I see when it comes to twinks.”
“I understand they have to appeal to the widest audience possible, but do they have to go through the same formulaic steps of intimacy in every video? Eventually it’s like watching the same thing and having the actors swap out.”
“The straight guys doing gay for pay. It’s like false advertising, lol.” (“Yes!” another user agreed. “It’s such a turn-off because they’re just not interested.”)
“The unrealistic body shapes. Most gay men are not muscular or have a huge package.”
“Extremely corny story lines.” (“Really? In front of my salad?” quipped another commenter.)
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