Life is short. Sometimes you just have to go with whatever concept is the funniest.
After a week or so of every outlet from TMZ to Variety to the LA Times waffling on whether Call Me By Your Name actor Armie Hammer is really working out of a hotel in the Cayman Islands selling timeshares, the internet has just kind of chosen to believe it.
Even with new pictures out that appear to show Hammer hanging around the hotel, wearing the uniform, and sitting at a desk in one of the offices, the hotel still asserts that he doesn’t work there.
The hotel’s director of sales told the LA Times that the actor just plays golf with a staff member, and that that employee had invited the actor to “come and see what we do.”
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The idea that Hammer is just hanging around the offices in uniform for hours and hours is just about as believable as the idea of an alleged cannibal (who comes from money) falling on hard enough times to have to resort to a job in sales, so reports from every side just kind of end up as a wash.
Related: Studio fails spectacularly at trying to edit Armie Hammer out of ‘Death on the Nile’ trailer
That all said, much worse has been said about the star. Many suspect he’s only in the Caymans as result of being exiled from Hollywood after sexual assault and coercion allegations, which included alleged screenshots of violent and cannibalistic direct messages from the actor.
With people thinking he might be into eating humans, being thought of as a hotel employee is probably low on his list of concerns.
This latest entry in Hammer’s treacherous saga has made for perfect Twitter fodder this week:
mom calmly back away from armie hammer pic.twitter.com/cHmxmpeLIp
— medusa (@WhatIsAnArnold) July 5, 2022
armie hammer entertaining the guests at the cayman islands: pic.twitter.com/c2SguRnsef
— razia (@girIbossonfilm) July 7, 2022
imagine taking a nice island vacation knowing you’re in danger of running into Armie Hammer or Ezra Miller at any moment
— lobster mechanic (@future_liz) July 6, 2022
We’re really never getting the CMBYN sequel because Armie Hammer decided he wanted to start eating people pic.twitter.com/LJp7PxJy28
— a (@eligiblepinks) July 9, 2022
i know theres a lot going on right now but did we ever figure out if armie hammer ate someone or what
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) June 29, 2022
Can you imagine going to the mall and walking into one of those sketchy time share offices and fucking ARMIE HAMMER THE CANNIBAL is there in a polo shirt offering you deals on timeshares????
— Lindsey Bean (@RealLindseyBean) July 9, 2022
armie hammer concierge thing is giving me brain damage i cannot comprehend it
— ege (@egeofanatolia) July 6, 2022
Armie Hammer when he sees these people at the tour pic.twitter.com/MTUn9myQRp
— Jennifer 🍒🌼 (@Jenniferp997) July 6, 2022
we just let armie hammer get away with nibbling on people
— monica (@waystarroyhoe) July 12, 2022
if armie hammer’s career trajectory were a character arc in a fictional work people would complain about it being not believable
— Inkoo Kang (@inkookang) July 13, 2022
Related: Armie Hammer catches flack for posting video of son sucking his toes
And for any naysayers: Have you been to the hotel? Have you attempted to purchase a timeshare from Mr. Hammer? Did you live to tell the tale? Give us a [email protected]!
