Hi Jake,
I’m not proud of this, but my boyfriend recently left his computer open and I decided to snoop at his browser history. It was mostly just out of curiosity, not because I was looking for or expecting to find something.
That said, I did come across something… scary. It turns out he’s really into gay ghostface porn. Apparently, there’s an entire genre devoted to guys having various relations with the masked killer from the Scream franchise. Who knew?
It gets scarier.
I learned my boyfriend didn’t just watch one clip, which I could have chalked up to a silly curiosity. He’s been watching them for a long time, and he doesn’t seem to watch much else. Not only that, but he digs deep to find them on multiple different adult site channels.
It seems like he has a gay ghostface porn obsession!
Don’t get me wrong, I love guys with a wild side. But I’m worried this might be a little too wild. Why is he into this? Should I be worried?
Scream(ing) Queen
Dear Scream(ing) Queen,
Do you like scary… browser histories? Apparently! If you’re willing to investigate them to see what your boyfriend is up to!
If you’re snooping in your relationship, there’s some level of mistrust happening, even if it’s just a lack of confidence that your partner is able to share themselves fully with you.
It’s important to create a safe space in your relationship to allow for your boyfriend’s inner thoughts, feelings, and fantasies to be expressed, as “wild” as they might seem. If he can comfortably talk about his turn-ons without a fear of judgment, it will strengthen the intimacy between you, and you won’t feel the need to pry.
That doesn’t mean you have to run to the nearest Spirit Halloween to buy a ghostface mask, just to fulfill your man’s thirst for knife-wielding psycho killers. Just like Randy Meeks lays out the rules of a scary movie in the original Scream, you both get to decide what scenarios you are comfortable with, so that expectations are clear. If playing Sidney Prescott to his killer is not your thing, you might allow him to continue indulging in this one on his own.
As far as questioning if he’s the right guy for you, I wouldn’t judge his character solely on his sexual kinks, especially if they are based in role-play or fantasy, and especially if they’re limited to watching a few videos online.
Many times what someone engages with online isn’t something they’re necessarily into IRL. But even if it is, having sex in a ghostface mask seems fairly harmless, as long as there’s no actual slicing and dicing.
As for why you’re boyfriend might be into this, the fact that “gay ghostface” has its own dedicated genre on adult sites means that it obviously hits a vein nerve for a lot of people.
It could be that the anonymity of the cloak and the mask leaves a lot to the imagination, which can be very arousing for some. They don’t know what lurks beneath the surface, and the unknown creates anticipation and excitement.
In addition, when wearing a costume or mask, there’s a sense that we’re not entirely ourselves, which can curtail inhibitions. There’s safety in hiding as a character, which can reduce vulnerabilities and fears around intimacy.
The ghostface character might also be appealing as a representation of the “bad boy” or villain character, which can stir a person’s dark side. What gay boy didn’t dream that a Billy Loomis type might climb through their bedroom window, too?
In the end, if your boyfriend’s unconventional desires seem to remain within the confines of his browser history, and if you don’t see red any flags for antisocial personality disorder, I don’t see the harm.
Use it as a chance to be curious, and to foster more conversation about your turn-ons, rather than hyping this into the latest Gale Weathers drama. I mean, we all know how ghostface feels about her.
Ask Jake is our advice column by Queerty editor and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Jake Myers. If you have a question for Jake, please email [email protected] for consideration.
ryepie2222
I lost IQ points for reading this ridiculously dumb story.
Louis
If he’s a top, maybe it’s because there are three holes he can picture himself enjoying, all on the one face
Man About Town
Someone needs to teach Jakey the difference between “your” and “you’re.”
dbmcvey
I’ve never heard of this before but it doesn’t surprise me. I’m sure any day we’ll get an article on Queerty about how it’s sweeping gay gen zers.
PubisHairus
Honestly, a masked lover can be very hot.
Fahd
Jake should have dealt more with the trust issue in the relationship. How does he tell his boyfriend he went through his search history first chance he had? How might the boyfriend react, especially since he might not be comfortable about anyone knowing that he was working on a term paper on Ghost mask porn? Where does the boyfriend hide his second phone now? I was surprised that the option of not mentioning what he had found in his snooping wasn’t considered…Overall, I wish Jake had discussed more how he should go about revealing his snooping.
Porn is so accessible and given what he might have found, this seems relatively harmless, but the snooping might ruin the relationship.
lou lou de la falaise
Tom Falk was one of my favorites.
scotty
if true, he left it open cause he wanted you to find it.
Kangol2
So the boyfriend has a paraphilia, the author of the query doesn’t, thus the quandary. Talk to the boyfriend about his interests and if you aren’t able to deal with it, perhaps a peaceful parting is in order.
Stefano
Agony column has always made me laugh! Horoscopes too!
radiooutmike
SQ sounds like a young impressionable queen.
Oh no, my BF, likes ghostface porn is not a problem as described.