shocking revelations

Mark Kirk Only Knows Closeted Gay Soldiers

Though it’s a far cry from an admission of snorkeling, Illinois’ Senate hopeful Rep. Mark Kirk, Naval Reserve officer and liar, told a debate audience last night that he did not know any gay soldiers during his twenty-one years of service. Well, “not openly” gay. Does it count if Mark knows himself?

Meanwhile, Kirk — who actually used the word “cattywompus,” which I’m loving — says he’s going to “read every word” of the Pentagon’s still-ongoing DADT repeal study, which is either an acknowledgment that he intends to fulfill his duties as a lawmaker, or he’s really, really interested in some beach reading about gays in combat boots.