ANIMAL HOUSE

Michele Bachmann Fighting Gay Weddings On Army Bases. Sham Weddings Dictated By God? Sure!

As her presidential aspirations shrivel in the sun, we haven’t heard much from Rep. Michele Bachmann. But just when we were beginning to enjoy the absence of her unique form of bat-shit craziness, she went ahead and signed a letter to the Senate, asking it to pass an amendment banning gay servicemembers from using military facilities for same-sex marriage.

Bachmann—who famously said The Lord led her to her He-Man hubby, Marcus—is among the 86 House Republicans riled up that the Department of Defense is going to allow all couples to use base facilities  “on a sexual-orientation-neutral basis.”

“The Defense of Marriage Act was passed by a bipartisan vote in Congress and signed into law by President Clinton,” said Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO), who originally penned the missive Bachmann and her cohorts co-signed.

“Unfortunately, this current administration is now directing the Department of Defense to ignore this law and perform gay marriages on military bases,” Akin opined. “I think this is wrong, which is why I offered an amendment to the House-passed defense bill making it clear that

Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO)

DOMA applies to the DOD. This letter calls for the Senate to add a similar amendment to their version of the bill. The Department of Defense should not be allowed to simply ignore laws they do not like.”

Oh, you House Republicans—don’t you know the baby Jesus cries every time you lie?

If, as you believe, gay marriages aren’t really marriages, then aren’t they just cute but meaningless ceremonies—like my niece’s graduation from 6th grade? Is the House going to start vetting each and every individual function, from quinceaneras to retirement parties, to see if they’re worthwhile?

If so, it’s a good thing we don’t have any economic crises or overseas embroglios to take up their time.

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7 Comments

  • Michael

    Isn’t the b!tch in a gay marriage herself??? I mean her husband is perhaps the queerest one of us all…

  • Cam

    I get a very heavy, closeted vibe off her. That panicked, paranoid, neurotic, struggling to stay in the closeted craziness.

  • Queer Supremacist

    Hey bitch, if you’re against gay marriage GET A DIVORCE!

    BTW, I haven’t been able to find your late sister’s ruby slippers. Sorry.

  • Riker

    @Queer Supremacist: Marcus must have stolen them.

  • Steve

    They still just don’t get it. If you want to have freedom-of-religion, you have to allow others to have that same freedom. If you use the force of law to impose your religious beliefs on others, then you don’t really have freedom-of-religion, either.

    The government cannot tell preachers what religious ceremonies they may or may not celebrate. If the government allows a preacher onto the base, to minister to the military personnel, that preacher is still a preacher. The government has no say regarding what happens inside that chapel.

  • Kurt

    @Steve: You hit the nail on the head, Steve.

    Bachmann lied when she says Obama is directing the Department of Defense to perform gay marriages. Government Departments don’t perform marriages, clergy do. Bachmann is saying the government should stop a clergyperson from performing a private, religious ceremony. It would be like passing a law that Catholic chaplains can’t hear confessions. (Given Bachmann’s denomination believes the Pope is the Anti-Christ, maybe that is where she is heading.)

Comments are closed.