Could this possibly be a real thing, or is it like most “trends,” just something a writer made up when pitching stories? The New York Times would like us to believe that dads are growing increasingly anxious about the size of their babies’ penises, and they found a doctor all too eager to share his experiences.
“Questions about penis size have become more common over the past decade, as my colleagues and I have all seen more overweight children coming in for physical exams,” writes Dr. Perri Klass.
And it’s not confined to infants: apparently parents are voicing concerns about kids around 10 or 11, which seems waaaaay too old for that sort of involvement.
Generally, doctors advise that kids wait before getting any kind of genital surgery — a lot of things can change once they hit puberty. Losing weight isn’t always a bad thing, either. Apparently a big part of responding to these concerns is reassuring the kid and the parents that they’re going to be fine.
How about we take this to the next level?
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And even if their dicks are abnormally small, it’s not the end of the world. As we’ve all learned from experience, there are plenty of other factors that go into choosing a partner. And it’s often the smaller guys who’ve developed the best techniques.
Of course, if there were ever a sure-fire way of making a kid self-conscious about his genitals, it is having his parents drag him to a doctor to talk about them. Parents, good grief, don’t poke around in your pre-teen’s business like that. If he’s worried, he’s old enough to raise questions himself without you making a big production.
Kangol
These parents are nuts. If their children have small(er) penises, the parents’ genetic makeup is the reason why, but it sounds like they’re expecting the doctors to do something about it–to infants! We don’t allow everyone to drive; we don’t allow everyone to practice law; and we surely shouldn’t allow every straight person to have kids, especially when they’re displaying insanity like this article describes.
Sukhrajah
Far be it from me, to be elected a representative voice of we – the much maligned band of perverts and demons that make up our flock – however one observation…
All people need to be better parents.
Here’s what’s at play here;
1). With Porn being as accessible, and proliferating into as many facets of our lives as possible – as well as general sexual liberation around the male figure (to a hypersexualized point where modern stars nude leaks are now a matter of part and parcel for the territory). As modern adults develop, Porn is (and has been, for a generation prior at least) how we learn about sex, and also forms some of the expectations that we have regarding many aspects – size being one.
As we grow, and experience more sexual partners, many realize the dichotomy of sizes, uses, users, and functions of male genitalia.
2). A lack of proper sexual education (either by parents who do not know how to, have little foundational support from sexually inhibited generations past, or schools who rarely teach anything by ‘abstinence only’ programs funded by ‘conservative’ organizations and efforts) – leads to knowledge regarding sex being never communicated, or only being had in the aftermath of traumatic events (psychologically, emotionally, and/or physically).
I was all about to blame the parents here, but then I thought about it logically – these may indeed be the ‘better parents’ who might actually be having discussions with their concerned children.
I would assume that no one enjoys inspecting the crotches of, or even ever wants to have the discussion of size with – their teenage children, and so only a direct discussion from the child likely prompted the concern.
So, what’s a solution – honestly – and bear with me: ART!
I do mean, hard – classical, stone – art! Sure, DaVinci’s David is not a realistic depiction of a man. #nevertrustamanwithabs #lookather Those abs are made of hate, hunger, and yet-to-be-invented Instastuds posts on Queerty. But, that ‘package’; actually something to look at. I mean, seriously – that made it past censors (the most censor-ous of the bunch; the Catholic Church. Another joke; has the Catholic Church been trolling us this whole time – with the most famous piece of art of the renaissance being a ‘teenage boy’ carved by a fairy?)
It would most certainly help Women. Imagine if the modern woman would be able to idolize “The Birth Of Venus” as they do the Mr. Kim West’s Paper Shoot. Even these are highly censored, but still – workable into a discussion not only about our own bodies – but about art, change, culture, definitions, and life – when many of these teenagers (who are dealing with many more pressures that existed when I was that age) need an outlet, and a way to process their own lives understanding that all of these pressures are only constructed by us, and temporary.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
If all else fails there’s an actual fetish out there for small dicks. But you’d be selling yourself short ..no one deserves to be reduced to a fetish. And he’ll probably dump you for a smaller one.
robho3
This is just wrong on so many levels.
Kieran
Nowadays parents should just be happy their boy wants to keep his penis.
rand503
This sounds like just the thing Donald Trump would worry about.
Captain Obvious
…Time to get new parents or pray the cat sleeps on your face again.
Chris
@Kieran: Spit my coffee out laughing!
Doug
First of all, I don’t believe a word of this article.
Second, I find some of these comments amusing. If anything, our community is more focused on dick size than any group of straight parents. This is the first time I’ve ever heard a group of gay men (especially on Queerty!) show any interest at all in small equipment…
cutterq
i always thought my penis was small since my bother was larger and my two friends who I thought had larger penises. In my senior year, one day in the showers (yes we had gang showers) after sports practice a naive freshman made a comment that i had the largest penis in the shower. My two friends said yes. I was so surprised i asked when the joke would be over. No joke. i guess my problem is that i have always hung around guys with big penises. For sex i prefer guys who are intelligent and smaller. conversation before, during, and after sex is the most important factor. So Helicopter MOMS, don’t worry about penis size,, worry about if your son can carry on a literate conversation.
Aromaeus
Considering one of the biggest arguments for circumcising infant boys is “so he can look like daddy”, this doesn’t surprise me and I’m inclined to believe mothers are actually bringing this up with their childs’ pediatrician.
rand503
This sounds like something Donald Trump would worry about.
QJ201
Well if Pugsly loses weight… it will make his penis look bigger. It’s called field of contrast 🙂
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