Queerty is better as a member

Log in | Register

Oy Gay! New Social-Media Site For Gay Jews Hits Below The Borscht Belt

Since Gaga and Michael Lucas have just launched social-media sites, we figured it was only appropriate to post this clip about a fictional gay-male social network called HEBrew. Yes, it’s stuffed with more bad puns than Old Jews Telling Jokes but that’s what Hebrew humor is all about. And we would definitely date some of these shayna punims.

Source: Bland Hack Pictures


On:           Jul 10, 2012
Tagged: , , , ,
    • Cam

      How about a deal from Dan Avery. Since he seems intent on consistently posting articles about Jews on here. Either ones that ignore the fact that it is one of the only major religions that advocates and performs gay marriages and instead will point out one thing said by some out of touch rabbi with no influence.

      Or He will put up posts that try to convince people that Israel is somehow evil for giving gays rights because it makes Palestine look bad for arresting gays.

      Or ones like this that are a sad buy in to stereotypes. (I”m doubting he would create an entire posting over a video of black people tap dancing or Asians with buck teeth and funny round glasses.)

      So here is the deal. Since Dan NEVER EVER post any articles about the Mormon Church funding pretty much every single piece of anti-gay legislation in the country going all the way back to the Hawaiian Constitutional Amendment attack on gay marriage years ago. Nor the fact that NOM is referred to as a Mormon front group by multiple Newspapers….. How about for every 5 random Jew stories Dan writes he posts at least ONE about the Mormon church. Would that be fair? for every 5 articles that he writes attacking the one major religion in the country that performs gay marriages…he at least puts up one post about the actual one that is systematically trying to strip our rights away from us.

      The fact that this is a gay site and yet seems to purposefully ignore the most well organized and largest funder of anti-gay political movement in the country is unbelievable.

      Jul 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • QJ201

      Was HEBro already taken?

      Jul 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris

      @QJ201: Yes, Hebro is a real thing that does parties for gay Jews in NY (maybe other cities too, but I only know NY for sure)

      Jul 10, 2012 at 3:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dixie Rect

      I thought it was clever and silly. Lighten up.

      Jul 10, 2012 at 6:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jbwhovian

      @Cam: I’m Jewish and I’m no fan of Israel, neither are my parent or grandparents. Israel did not democratically gain gay rights, they were won through the courts, not legislation, the government opposed gay rights, hence the court cases challenging the government.

      When it comes to Palestine, does it concern me about the extreme homophobia, yes or course. But as far as I am concerned just brushing them off and treating the whole region like scum is cheap and ultimately self defeating. Democracy, and a move from extremism is what’s needed. Can it be achieved over night? Of course not. Islam is not extremist as a religion, it is those that interpret and warp the beliefs of Islam for their own madness which are the problem. Many of these countries (and governments) we in the west propped up with cash weapons and political backing, so we are just as much to blame.

      Jul 10, 2012 at 8:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam


      So…..you basically missed the point of my post.

      First I love how you move talk of Palestine off to other areas so you can claim that the U.S. is responsible. Well there is democracy in Palestine, and it is written law that gays be arrested.

      But as to my original post

      The fact is, that Queerty has continually posted random articles about some Jewish Rabbi who doesn’t like gay rights, and ignored the fact that the religion supports gay marriage, performs gay marriages, and ordains gay rabbis. They have posted articles ignoring the fact that Israel has gay rights, minimizing it claiming that it is all a scam to make them seem better, seemingly missing the fact that they HAVE gay rights there.

      So multiple articles critical of the one major religion that in the U.S. that is gay inclusive, and the one country in that area of the world that gives gays rights. Additionally,

      AND YET

      They never post articles critical of the Mormon church even though it is responsible for the funding and support of pretty much every single anti-gay piece of legislation we have had in this country for 2 decades.

      So why not? Why attack the one major religion in the U.S. that officially supports gay rights and never ever write anything about the religion that is the largest funder and supporter of anti-gay political activities in the nation?

      Jul 10, 2012 at 11:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bob

      Keep you HeBrew boys! Give me an intact man any day over a cut one!

      Jul 11, 2012 at 10:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Marc

      Cam, lay off Dan Avery. He is great and you smell.

      Jul 11, 2012 at 11:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • cam


      LOL!!!! Ok, because you said so, and because you look so cute with your fingers in your ears waggling at me. ;)

      Jul 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Carlos

      hahaha right on Bob I also think that circumcision is genital mutilation and pointless.

      Jul 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • danny bloom

      Jewish professor says Jewish humor needs to come down from the mountains and be ‘updated’ and see my SILVERMAN MANIFESTO too, all POV welcome, pro and con. DANNNY BLOOM, 1949-2032

      In late May, I penned a commentary here titled ”Do ‘Jewish jokes’
      need to be updated?” which challeneged Jewish comedians on stage and
      movies to make modern Jewish humor in the 21st century better mirror
      Jewish culture today and leave the Catskils and Borsch Belt behind.
      Adding the text of a kind battle cry I called “The Silverman Manifesto
      (2012),” I noted that I had some qualms about how it might or might
      not go over among American Jews, and whether it might be or might not
      be accepted.

      Still, struck by some of the God-awful humor that has made its way
      into so-called “Jewish humor” over the years — most of it good and
      life-affirming, but some of it tasteless and sexist and even feeding
      into the Internet hands of neo-Nazis and anti-semites — I asked
      readers to look at my ”manifesto” in order to raise some issues that
      I hoped thoughtful people would address, pro and on.

      The manifesto, I emphasized, was meant merely as an alarm bell, a
      ”wake up call” for Jewish writers, comedians, film directors,
      artists, screenwriters, producers, actors and others to re-examine the
      state of Jewish humor in 2012 and where it’s headed. And a look back
      to the past might not hurt either.

      Now, two months later, Professor Ted Merwin at Fairleigh Dickson
      University in Pennsylvania, and a regular drama critic for the Jewish
      Weekly in New York, has
      answered my call independently, with his own take on what’s right and
      what’s wrong with Jewish humor today. Reviewing the current
      off-Broadway revue titled
      “Old Jews Telling Jokes” (which has gotten many very good reviews by
      the way, and only few critical reviews).

      Merwin is direct and to the point, noting: “[The play] essentially
      transports its audience ‘up the mountains’ (as my grandmother would
      say) to the Catskills. In Borscht Belt jokes, Jewish men always felt
      murderous toward their wives, non-Jewish women were secretly more
      attractive to Jewish men than Jewish women were, rabbis always offered
      ridiculous advice, and gentiles occupied a rarefied realm that Jews
      could never hope to enter. The dated quality of the show is summed up
      in two of its most inspired routines, which are Susman’s heavily
      Yiddish-accented, solemn rendering of “Ol’ Man River” and a sing-along
      with the audience of Tom Lehrer’s “Hanukkah in Santa Monica,” a song
      about Jews discovering that Jewish life can (big surprise!) actually
      take root outside of New York.”

      Merwin adds: “To compensate for their nagging sense of outsiderness,
      the show implicitly suggests, Jews turned to humor — in particular,
      dirty jokes. Either sex or scatology is thus the underlying theme of
      almost every gag. Jests about masturbating teenagers, blushing brides,
      under-endowed grooms, priapic desert-island castaways, lascivious old
      ladies, flaccid old men, aphrodisiac Jewish foods — the sex jokes go
      on and on. Same with the jokes about bodily functions, which embrace
      everything from women stuck on toilets to men with prostate and bowel

      ”This is where one needs to wonder if the show, despite having plenty
      of heart, has a soul,” Merwin writes. “A non-Jew who wandered into the
      theater could be forgiven for thinking that Jews, despite being
      renowned for their intellectual attainments, are in reality obsessed
      with their lower bodies. Or that upwardly mobile Jews remain stuck in
      a low-class or unassimilated Jewish past that they have only
      transcended on the outside, but still inhabit in some nether region of
      their deepest selves.”

      Merwin concludes that he wishes the revue ”didn’t insult its
      audience’s intelligence quite so much,” adding that he was “reminded
      of Bryan Fogel’s and Sam Wolfson’s phenomenally successful “Jewtopia”
      (which played at the Westside Theater in 2006), which trotted out
      every Jewish stereotype and excretory joke in the book, as if paradise
      for Jews is an eternity on the toilet.”

      The professor’s final verdict: “Perhaps I’m asking too much, but I
      wish that “Old Jews Telling Jokes” afforded some kind of new
      perspective on the place of humor in Jewish life, rather than yet
      another guilty peep into the bedroom or bathroom window.”

      Professor Merwin did not read the article I wrote here on May 24, nor
      did he read “The Silverman Manifseto.” He does not know me, and I have
      never known of his work before either, having
      lived in Asia now for almost 20 years. Still, our views are very close
      regarding ”some kind of new perspective on the place of humor in
      Jewish life.”

      I was heartened to read his review in Jewish Week. I emailed Dr Merwin
      and asked him how he felt about my little manifesto and my own call
      for some improvement in Jewish humor
      for life in this 21st Century.

      Jul 17, 2012 at 7:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • danny bloom

      Danny Bloom, American writer, born 1949

      ”The Silverman Manifesto (2012)”

      Enough of this self loathing and self hating! Enough of Jews
      themselves denigrating themselves in public shows
      of comedy or books! Enough of dysfunctional families
      and ghetto Jews from the past!

      We are now living in 2012
      and we are no longer dysfunctional people nor do we live
      in dysfunctional families anymore and Jewish mother jokes
      and Jewish Princess jokes and distasteful Joan Rivers’ Anne
      Frank jokes should be thrown out the window.

      The Bronx and Brooklyn
      ghettoes are things of the past.

      Wake up, fellow Jews and cast
      off your self loathing and self hatred with these terrible jokes
      about dysfunctional mothers and weak fathers and antisemitic tropes
      that are sometimes even worse than Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice
      schtick! Wake up, people!

      We are a normal people now, successful, middle-class, no longer in the
      New York City ghettoes where much of the old sick humor came from.
      Sure, in the 1930s, those jokes had a purpose. Sure, in the 1950s,
      after the war, maybe some of those jokes still had a purpose. But now,
      in 2012, they have no purpose! Those jokes should be retired and you
      know exactly what jokes I am talking about!

      We don’t live in dysfunctional families anymore and we have success
      stories all around, in an entirely new and loving way. It’s time for Jews
      in America to wake up and smell the new air of happiness and life.
      It’s time to stop the self loathing and self hating Catskills and Borscht
      Belt jokes of the 1950s and celebrate the joyful reality of 2012.

      Stand up and create
      a new kind of warm, life enhancing and positive humor that goes beyond
      the old stereotypes of yore. Rise up and rejoice, O Jews of America,
      you have nothing to lose but your long-suffering neuroses. We are no longer a
      neurotic people. Stop the Jewish mother jokes, stop the JAP jokes, stop
      the sick Anne Frank jokes (and books!), stop the dysfunctional family jokes,
      stop the victimization. We are no longer victims. We have made it. Wake up
      and celebrate success, joy, happiness, normalness.

      Enough already. We are normal. We have arrived. Leave the past alone. Where
      it belongs. Stop the Jews are cheap jokes; some of the most philanthropic
      people on Earth are American Jews: they build hospitals, museums, fund
      scientific research, professorships,
      educational initiatives. Focus on the good and the positive; leave the
      past where it belongs: in the past!

      Wake up and smell the sunshine. We don’t all live in the Bronx or
      Brooklyn anymore, or Queens
      or Beverly Hills. American Jews must evolve. Be nice, all ye who are
      comedians and humor
      writers. Respect yourselves. Respect what we have become now in 2012.

      Stop the old, out-dated
      stereotypes. We can write a new chapter in American Jewish history in
      the creative arts
      of comedy and film and literature and it does not have to be Portnoy’s
      Complaint anymore.
      Nor does it have to be Old Jews Telling Jokes off-Broadway anymore.

      Mirror the present,
      stop mirroring the dysfunctional ghetto past. Get past the past!
      Embrace the now!

      Jul 17, 2012 at 8:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bryan

      @jbwhovian: You miss the point; the fact that Israel is a democracy has enabled LBGT people to fight for and advance their rights in both courts and the Knesset. How well would suing for one’s right to marriage equality work in Iran?

      Israel has issues to work out, but is holding up relatively well in the face of living in an area where pretty much the entire region regularly speaks of driving its inhabitants into the sea and genocide against its people (even Jews who have never set foot in Israel).

      Jul 17, 2012 at 9:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

    Add your Comment

    Please log in to add your comment

    Need an account? Register It's free and easy.

  • Copyright 2016 Queerty, Inc.
    Follow Queerty at Queerty.com, twitter.com/queerty and facebook.com/queerty.