BAD GIFT IDEAS

“Pejazzling” Offers Men Useful, Sensible Way To Put Rhinestones On Their Junk

You’ve no doubt heard of Clitter and vajazzling, “the act of applying glitter and jewels to a woman’s nether regions for aesthetic purposes.” Well now “pejazzling” will give men the chance make their dongs look just as sparkly! What a great day for gender equality!

Mark Wright, star of the UK reality show The Only Way Is Essex has launched a range of “pejazzling” crystals that men can apply on their dongs. According to UK salon owners, women love gluing bling onto their lady parts and 40 percent of the customers who request jewelry for their labias are in fact men.

“Think of it just like a crystal tattoo,” Wright says. “It’s less permanent than a real one.”

‘Keen to speak out’ for men who want to look they they just humped a bag of rock candy, Wright adds, “Women don’t necessarily want a rough and ready man. Some prefer a man who’s groomed and takes care of himself. It’s each to their own.” Apparenlty the very butch-looking “Iron Cross” design has proved very popular so far because nothing says romance like a German symbol from World War I.

But don’t you hairy boys rush on out and start applying rubies to your junk as Wright suggests bushy boys first wax off all their man mane before jazzing up their pubis with tiny rhinestones that could easily be mistaken for glistening sores.