xmas is coming

PHOTOS: 20 of the (accidentally) gayest Christmas decorations we’ve ever seen

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Three-panel image. In the first panel, a neon Christmas sign of a candle in front of two ball shaped ornaments with sprigs of holly that resembles a penis. In the middle, a ceramic Santa head wearing a hat with his mouth wide open and his hand outstretched in front of it. On the far right panel, a blonde singing angel decoration with her mouth wide open. Four white candles on top of her have melted, leaving her face covered in strands of white.

“Make the yuletide gay,” they said.

Although the LGBTQ+ community has claimed Halloween as “Gay Christmas,” that doesn’t change the fact that the December holidays are pretty freaking queer on their own.

Purchasing a turtleneck sweater for one party? Gay.

Decking your house out with different colored balls? Gay!

A man who comes into your house at night with a load of presents? GAAAAY!

But honestly, the fine purveyors of Christmas spirit don’t need any help gaying up the season. (Although, a 2021 YouGov poll found 76% of British people would be OK with a queer Father Christmas.)

From phallic-shaped candelabras, to naughty little reindder, and butt plug-shaped trees, we can’t be the only ones who’ve noticed that the holidays have always been a little fruity.

So, in the spirit of jolly Ol’ Saint Nick, click through for some of the most hilarious (and accidentally gay) Christmas decorations ever.

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Is this what the holidays are like in Palm Springs?

A front yard decorated in Christmas lights at nighttime. In the foreground, a palm tree sits with its base covered in red lights and its leaves covered in strands of green, resembling a phallus ejaculating.
Image Credit: Bored Panda

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We thought Santa was the one who slides down the–

Santa Slide… Ho ho ho! [x-post]
byu/howardkinsd inCrappyDesign

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Hark, the herald angels… sing?!

A ceramic decoration of a blonde angel wearing a white dress singing with her mouth open. On her head, four white candles have melted, leaving strips of white dripping down her face. She's surrounded by poinsettia plants in a nondescript living room tableau.
Image Credit: Bored Panda

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This minimalistic Christmas tree has our mind in the gutter.

In an outdoor square, with passerby walking through and tall, black street lamps, rests a giant green minimalistic Christmas tree that resembles a butt plug.
Image Credit: Bored Panda

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McDonald’s really spreads the holiday cheer.

A white coffee cup with a heat sleeve from McCafe. The red sleeve reads "Warmest Greetings" on two white mittens being held by hands, resembling a butt being spread open. Around the unfortunate illustration are hearts, stars, and snowflakes.
Image Credit: Bored Panda

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Yoda has got an extra-special holiday gift, he does.

Ruined Christmas is!
byu/olavbander inCrappyDesign

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Seasons greetings from that angel watching over you.

A crocheted blonde angel in a white gown with white wings and a lollipop is tied up on a desk lamp, which hangs between its legs resembling a phallus. In the background are Christmas cards and holly decorations.
Image Credit: @brucedon5 on X

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The Christmas tree only a top could love.

Mall Christmas Tree
byu/maxt0r inCrappyDesign

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Santa’s got a brand new bag.

A ceramic Santa decoration, featuring Santa with a big white beard and hat looking up with his mouth wide open. His hand is outstretched in front of him with a price sticker that reads "$3.00."
Image Credit: @dodie_gay on X

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Your dog does *what* for Santa?!

Wonderful Dog Costume my buddy found.
byu/3rd-Age inCrappyDesign

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Is this what they meant by “reindeer games”?

A grassy front yard decorated for Christmas at daytime. An inflatable Santa, in a red coat and hat, sits waving in a sled. He's led by three brown reindeer with snowflake-adorned saddles. The four legged reindeer are posed one in front of the other, connected by what appeared to be a brown leg inserting into the rear of the reindeer in front of them.
Image Credit: u/Ros3GoldXoxo on r/CrappyDesign via Reddit

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Not your grandma’s “Hard Candy Christmas.”

Grandmother’s table mats are my favorite part of Christmas every year.
byu/BigPappa21 inmildlypenis

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When the family stockings read you for filth…

Two-panel image. Both images show a brick fireplace decorated with stockings for the holiday season. The white stockings are labelled M, R, P, H, A, G, S, T in that order. White text on the first panel reads "That awkward moment when you realize that the chronological order of your." In the second panel, the text continues, "stockings say Mr Phag Street." The second panel also reads, "Don't get offended. It's spelled with a Ph." A gingerbread GIF is featured on both panels with a red sticker that reads, "Make the yuletide GAY."
Image Credit: @matteubankspt on X

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Bears are on the prowl this holiday season.

This Christmas decoration display at the mall
byu/MyNameGifOreilly inCrappyDesign

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When Christmas crafting goes horribly wrong.

A tan colored candle sits glued on top of a red, green, and white buttoned pad on a red tablecloth. The tan colored candle is dripping in what appears to be white hot glue, resembling a phallus.
Image Credit: Bored Panda

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Ho, ho, ho indeed.

Two-panel image. In the left panel, a tall and skinny glass Santa decoration wearing a red hooded suit and carrying a staff with a Christmas tree on it sways to one side. The figure is pictured on a wooden table with a card game askew. In the second panel, the same figure is turned around to reveal the back of its hooded red suit, resembling a long hooded phallus.
Image Credit: Bored Panda

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Is this what they’re doing before they melt away…?

Lovely for the holidays
by inCrappyDesign

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Deck the balls, er, the halls…

A dark street lined with neon Christmas decorations. Each neon decoration is a candle in between two ornaments and a sprig of holly, unfortunately resembling a penis.
Image Credit: Bored Panda

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He knows when you’ve been bad, or good, or a secret third thing.

A collection of stuffed Santa decorations on the shelf at a store. The decoration features Santa with a smile holding a present above his head. Sewed to the front of his crotch, unfortunately placed between his legs, is a little child with his face buried in his crotch. The child wears a green striped shirt and candy cane striped shoes.
Image Credit: Bored Panda

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Reporting live from Santa’s werk-shop.

On the beach, a Christmas light decoration pictured at daytime. What is supposed to be a Santa that lights up and gives the appearance of a tossing up a present now looks like one Santa thrusting into another who's bent over.
Image Credit: Bored Panda

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