Notoriously-homophobic Domino’s Pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan is making plans to BUILD HIS OWN CITY in central Florida, basing his government on the principles of the Roman Catholic Church.
No adult bookstores will be allowed, pharmacies will not carry condoms or birth control pills, and cable television will have no X-rated channels, to create a better living environment for people. If Monaghan wants to help people live a better life, we suggest he stop selling people his boxed heart-attack kits which he refers to as “pizza,” and instead sell people actual food. Actual pizza would even be acceptable.
The town, named Ave Maria, is being built around a new Catholic university of the same name. Both the town and the university should open sometime in 2007.
Monaghan has long been at odds with the gay community, funding crusades with massive bank accounts from selling stock in his Domino’s Pizza corporation. He is personally responsible for many anti-gay ballot initiatives, most of which occur in his home state of Michigan, including a now-famous initiative to remove sexual orientation from a city’s non-discrimination clause. We’re glad we don’t like his pizza.
Not that we would ever want to visit a town like this anyway, but we’re guessing that gay bars will be a big no-no as well?…
Florida Governor Jeb Bush said it will be “a new kind of town where faith and freedom will merge to create a community of like-minded citizens.” In other words, “a cult, filled with people who will vote for me when I run for President in 2008.”