Republican presidential candidates participating in the party’s primary debates are playing to a dwindling audience. With Donald Trump still enjoying an insurmountable lead, everybody else is essentially on the JV team, and the viewership numbers reflect that.
His little routine made everybody uncomfortable.
“My wife, uh, isn’t a member of the teachers’ union, but I’ve got to admit, I’ve been sleeping with a teacher for 38 years,” he stammered, awkwardly.
Mike Pence: “My wife isn’t a member of the teachers union, but I’ve got to admit I’ve been sleeping with a teacher for 38 years. Full disclosure.” pic.twitter.com/Ab4xNiyM3B— The Recount (@therecount) September 28, 2023
By far the most uncomfortable someone has ever been telling a sex joke.— ⚾️CPA⚾️ ❎ (@MrMet_CPA) September 28, 2023
Nearly every national poll shows Trump leading his competition by at least 40 points; and as a result, the four-time indicted, twice-impeached ex-president is boycotting the staid proceedings.
On Wednesday, Trump held a rally in front of non-unionized auto workers in a shameless attempt to counter Joe Biden, who walked the United Auto Workers’ picket line Tuesday.
Without Trump, the debates lack star power, and appear to exist in an alternate universe. Everybody on stage is playing pretend, ignoring the orange-skinned menace who is not actually in the room but it still somehow sucking up all the oxygen.
That is, except Chris Christie, who chided Trump for skipping the pointless affair and called him “Donald Duck.”
Supreme cringe.— 4NinetyFour (@4NinetyFour) September 28, 2023
The only thing worse was listening to Tim Scott and Nikki Haley argue about the gas tax… and curtains.
One could say, “it’s curtains” for the Republican Party.— Phoenix_Ranger_ProdigalSon (@Phoenix_Ranger2) September 28, 2023
Republicans’ uninspiring performances Wednesday stand in stark contrast to the work of Democrats on the House Oversight Committee, which is holding nonsensical impeachment hearings about Biden. Without a shred of evidence, Republicans are alleging the President personally benefited from his son Hunter’s business overseas.
Democrats rebut the Republicans’ claims with vigor; but nobody was more spirited than freshman Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-TX), who read the GOP to total filth.
After a witness said Republicans used the word “if” 35 times when discussing Hunter Biden’s supposed sordid crimes, Crockett went all-in.
“If they would continue to say ‘if’ or ‘Hunter’ and we’re playing a drinking game, I would be drunk by now because I promise you, they have not talked about the subject of this, which would be the president,” she said.
But wait: there’s more!
“I can’t seem to find the crime and no one has testified what crime they believe the president of the United States has committed,” she added.
To punctuate her point, Crockett held up a photograph of classified docs piled high in Trump’s bathroom (he’s been indicted for mishandling national security secrets and been charged under the Espionage Act).
“These are our national secrets. Looks like [they’re] in the s***ter to me.”
Meanwhile, the Republicans’ star witness said in his opening statement he does “not believe that the current evidence would support articles of impeachment.”
Damn, this impeachment inquiry may get canceled after just one episode!
Maybe they can give Crockett her own spin-off: Owning Fools.
She’s much better TV than Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis smiling awkwardly. That’s for sure…
Absolutely incredible— Joe Drake (@JoeDrakeNYC) September 28, 2023
It’s her pencil-ography for me— booty hypnotic (@alwayspistachio) September 29, 2023
there is absolutely nothing like a read so direct and so pointed, not a pause, not a stutter, photographic evidence, she had it ALL— krob (@kkristenrob) September 29, 2023