STUDY: Your Hot Mom Made You Gay

Are you ready for some wild speculation, homologous chromosomes and MILFs? Italian researcher Andrea Camperio Ciani has a fascinating new scientific theory about why you’re such a gaywad.

The question tossed around, usually by anti-gay activists, is, “If homosexuality is genetic and gay people can’t reproduce naturally, how does the so-called ‘gay gene’ get passed on?”

Ciani’s explanation for that is complicated, but the thinking goes basically like this: Research shows that moms who have gay sons tend to have more offspring than moms who don’t. Ciani’s current theory is that the gene that theoretically makes men gay is linked to the one that makes women more fertile.

Previously, the Italian researchers suggested that the “gay-man gene” might simply increase androphilia, or attraction to men, thereby making the males who possess the gene homosexual and the females who possess it more promiscuous.

But after investigating the characteristics of 161 female maternal relatives of homosexual and heterosexual men, the researchers have adjusted their hypothesis. Rather than making women more attracted to men, the “gay-man gene” appears to make these women more attractive to men.

“High fecundity, that means having more babies, is not about pleasure in sex—nor is it about promiscuity. The androphilic pattern that we found is about females who increase their reproductive value to attract the best males,” Camperio Ciani told Life’s Little Mysteries.

Women who fit this profile have better reproductive health,  improved mental and social skills, and particularly appealing personalities. Assuming they have kids more often, that gay gene continues on from generation to generation.

Our question is, does this gene make queer guys more attractive, too? Is that why ladies pout that the good ones are always gay? Are gay guys, in fact, a culture of genetically superior übermenschen?

The answer is yes, obviously, but we’ll wait for science to confirm it.