Scientists Consider Potentially Evil Plot To Save Planet

Earth’s days are totally numbered. Not only are we in the middle of a protracted world war, being ravaged by a tireless retrovirus and watching as millions starve, but the planet seems to be getting hotter everyday. While Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio and a slew of other hot stars have joined the Global Warming crusade, some scientists think it may be too late to change earthling’s Earth destructing ways. Rather than spend time educating people on cutting carbon emissions and the such, they’re just going to take control of the weather:

Frustrated with the limits of public policy to tackle global warming, some scientists say the time has come to engineer a way to control the weather.

One idea put forth by a physicist involved in climate-control discussions would involve bombarding the Arctic stratosphere with specially engineered particles to deflect the sun’s rays, thereby lowering temperatures.

Didn’t the evil Carradine Cassadine family have a similar idea on General Hospital?

If soap opera writers can devise such a dastardly plot, we’re sure real life villains could concoct a scheme of their own: a danger not lost on scientists. Colby College professor James Fleming – surprisingly, no relation to James Bond creator, Ian Fleming – remarks: “It is virtually impossible to imagine governments resisting the temptation to explore military uses of any potentially climate-altering technology.” So, we have two choices here: let the ice caps melt, thus flooding the entire world and ending civilization as we know it or try to control the weather and run the risk of being destroyed by some douche bag with designs on world domination. Hmm, we’re going to go with the douche bag option – at least that way you’re guaranteed a planet. It may be run by a psycho monster, but it’s better than sleeping with the fishes, right?

Could Global Warming Be Halted by Controlling the Weather? [WSJ]