USE THE FORCE

Straight Guys Reveal How Much Gay Sex They’d Have For A Lightsaber

GayPrideVaderA recent thread titled “Straight men of Reddit, would you have gay sex for a lightsaber?” has received a staggering 500 comments as of this post.

We’d say the rules of the game are simple, but actually they aren’t, proving yet again that straight guys think about gay sex a whole lot:

The way it works is you tell a guy to imagine that he’d get a real life lightsaber if he had gay sex. It could be with any man, dead or alive, celebrity, etc:

* If you top a guy, you get a purple lightsaber
* If you bottom, you get a lightsaber in any color of your choice
* If you try both, you get either a double ended lightsaber or two lightsabers in the color of your choice
To make it more complicated:
* If you give a guy a handjob, you get a stun baton
* If you experiment with gay BDSM, you get a lightsaber whip
* If you suck a guy’s dick, you get a blaster
* If you get your dick sucked, you just get a really good blowjob
* If you get fisted, you get a thermal detonator (Don’t waste it!)
* If you fist a guy, you get an adhesive grenade, because stickiness…
* Every time you use a condom, you get a deflector shield, because stay safe, guys!
* Intercrural sex (between the thighs) gets you a vibrosword

OK, even we didn’t know the term “intercrural sex.”
Here are some of our favorite responses:

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No way! I’m not falling for that again. It has become very clear that light sabers do not really exist.

I have no shame, I’d proudly flaunt that double-ended lightsaber as I limped down the street the next day.

I’d probably slam a guy in the ass for a purple light saber. And that guy would be Leonardo DiCaprio.

Absolutely yes. I’m sure my wife would understand.

That’s a stupid question…Of course I would.

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Nope. What would I do with it? Besides, I live in California. They’d find a way to ban my having it real quick.

Fuck yeah I’m gonna get on that gay bdsm. A fucking lightsaber whip? That’s awesome!

Dude, I’m not gay since I’m pretty sure I still like the ladies, but I would fuck a guy for free. Nothing wrong with a bit of schlong on the side. Gimme the kenobi sauce, baby.

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So by my calculations I’ll be owed two lightsabers and two deflector shields when this is all over. I’m okay with this deal.

I’m straight and already done BDSM with a Gay male. Sorry I don’t like lightsabers, I don’t swing that way.