Texans Really Don’t Want Gays To Marry


Oh, those wacky Texans. They took a long hard look at their ballots yesterday and recalled how horrible the lives the citizens of Massachusetts had become since queers started getting hitched in that state. All due to those pesky “activist judges.”

Well they aren’t going to stand for any of that in Texas. They made damn well sure of it by overwhelmingly approving an amendment banning marriage by nuptial-obsessed gay Lone Star Staters even though it wasn’t legal in the first place! You gotta hand it to these guys; they get the job done and then some. The KKK even came to the party!

Aw, shucks. We can’t stay mad at Texas for long. After all they are the state that blessed us with chiseled abs of Matthew Mcconaughey.