We mustache you a question… how do you feel about this mustache?
The facial hair debate has reared its furry chin on Gay Twitter X once again.
It all started when @tugbarks shared a cropped pic of a man with a thick ‘stashe and a fairly full beard. “I’ll be the house-wife if his facial hair is like this,” they wrote. (Whatever happened to “Nice beard, bro”?!)
It did not take long for the queer community to roll through in the comments and quotes. As of this writing, the post has been viewed more than 4.2 million times and received over 12,000 likes.
Some users shared their point of view by sharing their own facial hair.
Am I? pic.twitter.com/BfaS4wml6I
— Luis Calatayud (@LuisVitalicio) October 13, 2023
This guy 😭😍 pic.twitter.com/BAnWjyRWqB
— Harold Libangan (@HLibangan) October 11, 2023
I’m rocking that look too pic.twitter.com/dA1L8wr87h
— Beardsman Dave (@BeardsmanD) October 11, 2023
On the other hand, some users weighed in with their own scientific anecdotal experience with bearded men, based on interactions with their, erm, nether regions.
And still, other users chimed in with their own horny fantasies. Put down the razor, and nobody gets hurt!
However, the oddest part of the whole discussion ended up being the mystery man in question (whose eyes are cropped out of the pic).
Some studious users pointed out that it appears to be former pro wrestler Joey Ryan, who was best known for his signature move the “YouPorn Plex,” also called “the penis flip.”
When opponents would attempt to grab his crotch, Ryan would seemingly use his d*ck to flip them over. (Fingers crossed Zac Efron attempts a similar maneuver in his new wrestling flick The Iron Claw.)
More recently, Ryan was accused of sexual assault and harassment by at least 17 women and subsequently kicked out of Impact Wrestling. But this past fall, him and his beard were spotted working at Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights.
Perhaps another bearded bro would have better proved the point. Might we recommend burly bearded Paul Rudd from gay romcom Ideal Home? We would be his house-wife.
Of all the photos you could’ve used, you used the worst person as an example. (Joey Ryan, google him)
— Carl 🦩 (@deadeditors_) October 12, 2023
From the discourse around #BeardedButtigieg, to the study that found 47% of beards contain fecal matter, both sides make strong points. But it seems this is just another issue we’ll never see eye to eye (or lip to lip) on.
Regardless, @fadopapi kind of gagged us here at Queerty with this one:
Below, check out some of the funniest posts from the latest round of mustache discourse.
Fahd
De gustibus non est disputandum, but the rug burn issue is real.
bachy
I think a mustache should be trimmed to expose the lips – similarly to how I feel about women’s pubic hair.
Leo
Beards are great for Eric and jr. Trumph. Anything to hide the ugly. Handsome men should never need to hide their looks.