The Top 10 Signs The Apocalypse Will Definitely Happen Tomorrow

If the Mayans are right—and when weren’t they?—we’ll all be swimming in a lake of fire tomorrow. So while you’re busy hunkering down, bunking up and praying to whatever gods will have you, let’s take a look back at the events this year that signified the end was near.

Click through for Queerty’s Top 10 Signs That the Apocalypse is Definitely Coming On December 21. Nice knowin’ ya!

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10. Coming Out Became Passé for Celebrities

Remember when a celebrity coming-out involved a People magazine cover story? Now Jim Parsons comes out in the third paragraph of a New York Times story and Anderson Cooper—whom we had good money on never coming out—shoots an email to his buddy Andrew Sullivan. What is the world coming to?



9. Hip Hop Queered It Up

Of all the music genres, hip hop is traditionally the least welcoming of LGBTs. But something happened this year, with Frank Ocean coming out as bisexual (and getting supported by everyone from Jay-Z to Snoop Dogg), Azealia Banks coming out as a gay man and Macklemore and Ryan Lewis coming out with an empowering song about marriage equality, hip hop had its gayest year ever.



8. Gays Made It Big on TV

From The New Normal to The Amazing Race, 2012 was a record year for LGBT representation on television, proving that the revolution will indeed be televised.


Rep. Tammy Baldwin, D-WI, 5/22-23/12.

7. Gays Made It Big in Congress

This year saw a record number of openly LGBT candidates run for—and win—seats in Congress, including Tammy Baldwin, the first out senator. The gays are taking over! Next thing you know we’ll have a gay president. Oh, wait.



6. The Olympics Sexed It Up

This year’s Olympics were notable for many reasons, particularly for the number of openly gay athletes who competed and snatched medals. But the sheer amount of scantily clad, world-class man flesh on display is no doubt helping to send us all spiraling into oblivioin.



5. Football Showed Its Tender, Gay-Loving Side 

Long regarded as the most macho and heterosexual of sports by people who have never heard of rugby, professional football crafted an image of inclusiveness and equality this year, thanks in large part to players like Chris Kluwe and Brendon Ayanbadejo, and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell taking their influence beyond the gridiron.  We’re pretty sure this means the Super Bowl will be played in the third circle of Hell.


4. Gay Marriage Swept the White House, the Nation and the Globe

Barack Obama became the first president to publicly endorsed same-sex marriage, which for many  confirmed Barry was the Anti-Christ.

After consistently failing at the voting booth, marriage equality finally won big in four statewide referendums. It also became a vital cause in countries as diverse as England, France, Taiwan and Uruguay. Don’t take our word that’s a sign of the Apocalypse: Mr. Grouchy Papal-Pants says it’s so!


3. The Westboro Baptist Church Offends the KKK

You know you’re doing something wrong when the KKK think you’re too extremist. The Westboro Baptist Church blamed every disaster, natural and man-made, on the gays this year—proving that if they’re the ones being raptured up to heaven, hell must be paradise.



2. The 2012 Election Season: The Election to End All Elections

This year’s election  was unarguably the ugliest, most slanderous, exhausting, painful, divisive, openly racist, misogynistic (what was up with all the talk about rape?!) and just plain annoying election in the history of modern politics. With record spending (there were a lot of records this year) on both sides, America was thrown into a dark age of political ads and dirty tactics that left every person in America wishing for an end–any end—to it all. Somehow, now, it all seems like a bad dream. But for Republicans it’s the end of the world as they know it.

1. Whitney Houston’s Death

We realized the planet was going straight down the toilet in February, when Whitney Houston crossed over.  She had a stupendous run, and her impact on music and popular culture was immeasurable—her death was truly the first nail in the coffin that housed 2012.

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