Tom Malin Loses, Disappoints Horny Voters

tom malin.jpegTom Malin, the gay hooker who found God and tried to find his way into elected office, lost the Democratic primary for Texas.

We are brokenhearted at this ghastly turn of events. We feel for Malin, knowing how hard it can be to step out of a pile of scandal and put your best foot forward. We’re also dying to know if, with his checkered past, his pursuit of a seat in political office was an act of great bravery, or if he’s just really stupid.

Malin ran on a platform of “education, the economy, and restoring a ‘spirit of ethics’ to [the] State House,” and based on his illustrious past, we can’t imagine why that stance didn’t work out for him. It should be noted that he did receive a whopping 45% of the vote. No one ever said hookers can’t sell themselves well. And speaking of: since politics haven’t worked out, Malin could always go back to his former career of selling Mary Kay cosmetics. He was good, he got the pink Cadillac and everything.

Malin loses Democratic primary [KGBT 4]
More on Tom Malin [Wonkette]