If you think it’s hard out there for a pimp, consider the harsh reality of being a tranny hooker. Not only do you have to scour the streets for a turned-on John, but then you have to explain your penis. Regrettably, not so many people are down with a so-called chick-with-a-dick and trans folk face more violent crime than their biologically gendered counterparts.

As such, many trans working girls choose to place ads in weekly rags – at least then they know their clients won’t be some crazed lunatic. Unfortunately, they’re not all trained copy men (women?). Good thing copyranter offers his expertise free-of-charge:

I’m offering my expert copywriting services to all Transgendered, Transsexual, SheMale, post-op, pre-op, mid-op, etc. Escorts. The challenge of having to juxtapose dissimilar phrases like “Golden Skin” and “Hung” in a small space ad targeted at such a hard-to-nail-down demographic is a huge turn-on. To get things started, I’ll dip my toes into the head space:
• Full Lips. Fuller Girth.
• Legs To Die For. All Three Of Them.
• Cloud Nine Inches.
• Sugar Kissing + Candy Cane Licking.

Genius! So genius, in fact, we’re having a bit of trouble choosing our favorite – you know, just in case we ever decide to get some tits and work a corner. We’re thinking “Cloud Nine Inches”. Although, that may be false advertising. Tear, tear…

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