Obviously there have been some changes around these parts. The long weekend brought us a new look, a new attitude and a new weekly feature: Trolling Tuesdays!!
Each and every Tuesday we’ll bring you some of the tastiest tasteless bits of digital dick digging (and coochie quests) this great internet has to offer. You’re also going to have to click for it.
We’re going to start of slow today and just ease into it with this somewhat touching, a bit perplexing and entirely verbose posting from near or around Kokomo, Indiana. A preemptive sic, as if you couldn’t guess:
If you are a busy body bluecollar, whitecollar, or any down-to-earth professional, you are encouraged to drop by at my place for you to relax and be yourself. My place is for your discrete affair to sexually free yourself from sexual tensions due to over-work, sexless relationship, curiousity, or just for fun. You can bring your own pal or buddy if you want to. Just no smoking or heavy drinking involve. Picture is appreciated with average stats. Thank you.
I am pacific islander, short in stature and cute.
Cute, indeed. He’s not pushy or over-eager, just an “encouraging” note to all area professionals (actual occupation unimportant) who want to use his pad to kick their shoes off, lay back and, perhaps – but not necessarily – get off. In fact, he doesn’t even seem to be offering his services, just his apartment. We guess it’s true what they say about Midwestern hospitality.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Speaking of hospitality – we know you kids are out there doing some trolling of your own, so be sure to send us all the cringe-inducing, nonsensical, wholly irrational, sick, funny and/or just plain bizarre sexverts you can find.
RZtraveler
Sitting here in Guadalajara, it’s 2 AM, can’t sleep. Love your new website layout. I’ve been reading it for about a year and finally have to comment how much I like it. Hope it puts to sleep as I have to be up in 5 hours. Ron
cjc
I don’t know if you’ve seen this before, but it’s been posted to Atlanta’s CL:
http://atlanta.craigslist.org/m4m/341759017.html
Tips for a Successful M4M Craigslist Experience
——————————————————————————–
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2007-05-31, 1:40AM EDT
A. Grammar
– Please do not type in all CAPS. This is annoying. It’s generally understood that typing in caps implies yelling. Remember, when you post an ad or reply to someone’s ad, you don’t actually need to scream for them to hear. I imagine most Craigslist users are not blind, and thus, they will be able to read your reply, preferably in correct case, on their computer screen.
– Discreet and discrete are not interchangeable. The same can be said for you’re and your. “Horney” should be “horny” and the last time I checked, if you really want to meet, you are “definitely interested,” and not “definately interested.”
B. Content
– When you write a post describing yourself as “VGL” or “hot,” you’re really not helping your audience understand what you look like.* In case you hadn’t noticed, approximately 97% of CL M4M users in Atlanta consider themselves “VGL” and/or “hot.” Try throwing out some actual stats, or better yet a picture. We’ll be the judge of whether you’re hot or not.
*Please note the correct use of “your” and “you’re” in this sentence.
– Be specific about what you’re looking for. Example: If you’re 28 years old, fit, white, drug and disease free and a non-smoker and are looking for similar, specify this in your post. Otherwise, don’t be surprised when the first reply comes rolling in from a 48 year old, chain-smoking bear who’s HIV positive. Yeah, it might require a few additional keystrokes, but you’ll be much happier when reading your replies because maybe the guys will actually have some of the characteristics for which you’re looking. (By the same token, don’t reply to posts for which you clearly don’t meet the poster’s requirements)
– Married and/or Straight. My experience with these guys has been that they are generally lots of fun and attractive (at least to my taste). But, come on. This just in: You’re not fooling anyone. Married? Possibly. Straight? Not if you’re cruising for cock on Craigslist. At best, you’re bi.
C. Replying to the Posts of Others
– Once again, “VGL” and “hot” are not really what most people want to hear when they ask for your stats. They might like to know things like your age, height, weight, waist size, race, cock size, eye and hair color, etc. A good general rule is to reply with whatever stats the poster provides about himself in his post. If someone includes all his stats and you reply and decide to omit your age, weight, or race, there’s a strong chance he sees the omission and makes note.
– As noted above, don’t reply to posts for which you don’t meet the requirements as laid out by the poster. Even if it’s 3 AM, chances are that most guys aren’t up for a pity fuck.
– Less is not more. More is more. Try to include all pertinent information in your first or second reply. Stats, sexual interests, ability to host or travel, etc should all be covered early on. Otherwise you’ll email each other for 30 minutes just to get the basic details down. At that point, one of you will be “tired” and leave. 30 minutes wasted. Exchanging phone numbers is also an effective way to facilitate the meeting process.
D. The Meeting
– Grooming: If you’re fortunate enough to make it this far, clean yourself up before heading over to your trick’s place. Unless one or both (or all) of you are into sweat, pits, or “man smells,” common courtesy dictates taking a shower. I don’t want to smell cum from your last trick on your breath or dick. I also don’t want to get brown caked up residue in my mouth from eating your ass. Yes, we’re men, and most of us like masculinity. Being clean doesn’t decrease your masculinity in any way.
– Don’t show up high, drunk, or otherwise intoxicated, unless previously agreed upon. Very poor form when you can’t get it up due to the bottle of wine you drank earlier that night or the meth you’ve been using all day.
– If you show up and realize things aren’t going to work out, man up and say something. If the guy lied about his stats or sent false pics, kick him out. If he didn’t lie, but you just aren’t getting a good vibe after meeting him, be honest and let him know. If you’re not able to get it hard but try to fake it, it’s not gonna be pleasurable for anyone involved. Save time for everyone and let each other know.
Following these suggestions may make your Craigslist experience that much better. Disclaimer: Actual results may vary.