Vladimir Putin Nominated For Nobel Peace Prize…Seriously

vladimir_putin_22Well. Well. Fucking well. Someone somewhere in some state of mind thinks Vladimir Putin is making the world a happier, safer place, having nominated Russia’s anti-gay, anti-Chechnya, anti-Georgia, anti-shirt president for a Nobel Peace Prize. Wait, what day is it? Did April Fool’s sneak up on us again?

“Being the leader of one of the leading nations of the world, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin makes efforts to maintain peace and tranquillity not only on the territory of his own country but also actively promotes settlement of all conflicts arising on the planet,” wrote officially-sanctioned Nobel Prize nominators, the International Academy of Spiritual Unity and Cooperation of Peoples of the World (invoking Putin’s middle name no less).

The Russian (shock!) advocacy group said at a press conference Tuesday that Putin is far more deserving of the prize than Barack Obama, who won the prize in 2009, because he opposes military intervention in Syria — they of course neglected to mention that Putin’s been supplying weapons to Syrian president Bashar al-Assad, who’s systematically killing his own people — but you know, details.

“Barack Obama has the title of Nobel Prize winner — the man who initiated and approved such aggressive actions on the part of the United States of America as in Iraq, Afghanistan, some others, and now is preparing for invasion of Syria,” said Iosif Kobzon, a popular Russian singer and a member of Parliament at the press conference. “I think our president, who is trying to stop the bloodshed, who is trying to help to resolve this conflict situation through a political dialogue, through diplomatic language, deserves this title more.”

In all fairness, Obama inherited Iraq and Afghanistan, but there are certainly other people more deserving of a Nobel Peace Prize — especially since O won that a bit, shall we say, prematurely. Meanwhile, Putin’s been hard at work making people’s lives miserable for over a decade.

Aside from his international indiscretions — of which there are many — Vladimirovich hasn’t been promoting much peace within his own borders, at least not when it comes to the LGBT citizens of Russia. He signed a law this summer banning “propaganda” of so-called “non-traditional sexual relations” among children and another banning foreign adoption of Russian orphans from countries where same-sex marriage is legal. As a result, this institutionalized homophobia has been linked to notorious acts of kidnapping, torture and even murder.

In Putin’s peaceful mind, however, that’s not the stuff of discrimination. He even “sometimes” awards them “with state prizes or decorations for their achievements in various fields.” Well in that case, forget the Nobel Peace Prize and bump this man up to sainthood. They’re apparently giving those out to anyone these days.

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #politics #barackobama #nobelpeaceprize stories and more


  • 2eo

    Cancer voted most lovable illness and is up for an Emmy.

  • Red_Dragon_888

    lost all respect for that prize.

  • Dev.C

    Well it seems that majority of the right in America believe Putin deserves this award because apparently He stops wars
    and Obama starts and causes them. What the Fuck is going on in this country/World?

    I’m just speechless to the fact that people really don’t give a shit what this guy does to his gay citizens and other minorities. I really don’t get how people can be so backwards?

  • sfbeast

    Clearly, the hysterically titled academy nominated Putin, because if they didn’t, they would have been arrested and they and their families would all have been sent to Siberia.

  • CleJoke

    When they gave it to Obama they proved they give it to anyone for no reason what-so-ever.

  • 2eo

    @CleJoke: Or they give it to warmongering lunatics.

  • Stache1

    @sfbeast: Ha. Reminds me of Saddam Hussein and that infamous video of him with his congress. We love you Sadam! All done in fear of coarse.

  • Jerry12

    I would have commented earlier, but when I read that Pudding Head was getting the Nobel Peace Prize, I fell on the floor laughing so hard I could not write.

  • Fawkes

    The Nobel “Peace” Prize has been a joke ever since Henry Kissinger was awarded one while he was bombing Cambodia back into the Stone Age. Although in Putin’s defense, he did defuse the Syria situation (hopefully not just temporarily) while the lunatics in our government (including the warmongering Peace Prize winner Obama) were pushing for World War III. Putin’s still a despot, but they’ve given Peace Prizes to worse.

  • mz.sam

    As for how this article was written, its just a nomination…not the final candidate list for voting. And the award itself is just a coronation…not much different to Oscar nominations (of which nominees can campaign and canvass for winning votes).

  • jfabz

    It’s easy to get nominated for the Nobel Prize, practically any government entity can formally nominate an individual. So too can most legitimate NGO’s as well as former Nobel recipients. The nominees are then short listed. Works much like the Oscar’s really.

  • fredhotman

    Probably Hitler would also have been nominated for the Noble prize. After all Putin is a dictator who is also implementing persecution, prosecution, that encourages harassment
    & murder of gay’s in Russia. The Noble prize nominators, like IOC & FIFA do not see anything wrong in persecutions, human rights have no place there. Boycott Sochi.

  • jwrappaport

    And the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize goes to…


  • Eiswirth

    Who nominated this miserable prick? John Boehner?

  • Jeanluc

    Guys, he was nominated for this prestigious prize, as a joke, I know it for sure! The Nobel Peace Prize, is not composed by corrupted people like the International Olympic Committee, but, buy educated and smart people. Dictator Putin, will not get the Nobel Peace Prize, rest assure. Cordially Dr. Jeanluc Capri, La Rochelle, France, and Wellighton, New Zealand!

  • manjoguy

    Barack Hussein Obama – 2009 Nobel Peace Prize winner. Seriously?!!

  • hephaestion

    ANYBODY can be nominated for ANY prize. That doesn’t mean he has a chance in Hell of winning it.

    He won’t win it. The entire Nobel committee is laughing their asses off at the absurdity of this nomination.

    YOU can nominate Mickey Mouse for a prize if you want. The nomination means nothing.

  • Fitzenstein

    Oh let him have his Nobel Laureate. Then give posthumous ones to Hitler, Stalin, Slobodan Milosevic, African dictators and every other despot in history. Anyway people will hopefully come to their senses in time.

  • 2eo

    @hephaestion: They gave one of the worst war ciminals in history one, Henry Kissinger, a man with more blood on his hands than most countries put together.

  • fagburn

    The nominations mean nothing.
    The awards – Kissinger, Obama etc – are a joke.
    Why is this a story?

  • fagburn

    Hoorah for American empire!

  • breslowilario

    my buddy’s ex-wife makes *67 hourly on the laptop. She has been without work for five months but last month her pay was *13537 just working on the laptop for a few hours. More about the author…….

  • Dr. Mekah Gordon

    Putin, nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, really!?!?
    What the F*ck are they thinking!
    This son-of-a-bitch, wants to vaporize anyone in the GLBT Community!
    Nobel Peace Price, my ass.
    This, would be a travesty of mankind, in having this lowlife hater, nominated for anything!
    Perhaps they should nominate him for “Nazi of the Year!”

  • TommyBr

    @Dev.C: Dev, Dev, Dev… The “majority of the right in America” has nothing to do with the Nobel Prize or its nominations, which originate in Sweden. If you want to bash Middle America/Republicans/Whatever, pick a more suitable topic.

  • MK Ultra

    Russia is the next fascist threat to the world.

  • mz.sam

    Yay! The ex-KGB Fucker lost out big time to a chemical weapons watch group….(choke, snif)!

Comments are closed.