We’ve all been there. You’re at the beach enjoying a day of sun and fun. Then suddenly, you see a hot hunk or a group of guys slathering each other in sunblock and — uh oh — you have to lay belly down on your towel or go waist-deep into cold water to hide your (ahem) “interest.”
Well worry not, easily aroused beach-comber! An adult video tube site has just unveiled their “B*nerless Bathing Suit” which uses presumably space-age technology to beat the gravity-defying parts of the male anatomy.
According to Men’s Health, “the suit has a built-in interior lining that helps mask whatever’s going on down there.” The lining seems to be a sort of compression short designed to help keep everything non-offensively in place.
Related: Guys Share Their Most Awkward Arousal Moments, Reader Edition
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Men’s Health also points out that the bathing suit contains a small logo for the aforementioned adult video tube site, raising the question, Which is more embarrassing: your bulge or publicly admitting to everyone that you watch a skin-site?
The problem of hiding bulges in public is hardly a new one. As Vice writer Mark Hay recently pointed out, the “naturist” and nudist communities have long struggled with what to do with sexual arousal in resorts that are otherwise advertised as wholesome, respectable, non-erotic and family-friendly.
Hay says that men at most nudist resorts simply cover themselves with a towel. But hiding your body’s natural responses seems at odds with the body positivity that naturists try to promote, Hay notes, especially since men can sometimes experience non-sexual arousal because of stress or hormonal changes.
Regardless of your stance on the issue, you can buy the suit at for the oh-so-clever price of $69.69. There’s also a $20 discount for people who use the promo code from the video above.
Wicked Dickie
I couldn’t make it to the end of the commercial. What I do know is that I’m not walking around with “Porn Hub” shorts on. If they were Jack Adams, or Marco Marco. I’ll even go for Nasty Pig. But definitely not Porn Hub.
domen8r
How ironic, if (hopefully) the rumors are true, that PornHub also wants to buy Tumblr, where they will undo the censoring so MORE boners can be seen.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
C*ck block shorts….
(Isn’t it ironic on a GAY SITE one can not post the word c*ck????)
LetsGetLit
What about “Rooster?”
PinkoOfTheGange
70 bucks for that. Get some Birdwells and Under Armor if this is actually an issue.
BTW the surfers will still laugh at you because the same under attire that is culturally correct for kilts is culturally correct for boardies.
Itsonlythetruth
By far one of the worst commercials to ever be made.
Paulie P
a few things… ugly comes to mind first…..and if you’ve got a dick like Damon, Jon, Chris, JR, Todd, Rafael and Rocco no bathing suit is gonna help!
Bryguyf69
Pardon my cultural ignorance but who the heck are, “Damon, Jon, Chris, JR, Todd, Rafael and Rocco”??? And what the heck is “Porn Hub”? Is it peripheral to watch porn, e.g. virtual reality? (I was gonna say, “hardware to watch porn,” but the phallic pun is simply too obvious…)
As an aside, those who haven’t watched porn in 3D virtual reality should definitely try it. My first time was, well, climatic! Watching a set of bodacious bulbous boobies bobbing above your head is simply amazing. Or imagine Nikki Minaj’s rear slowly descending down on your face…
Oops, I forgot that this is a gay site. Well, I’ve seen some BelAmi and SeanCody 3D vids out there as well, which I’ve heard are as good as the hetero stuff, except that different body parts are highlighted. And instead of Minaj’s rear, you can wank off to hattrickz’s Minaj-ish rear smothering your face. If you don’t know who [heterosexual] hattrickz is, Google him. If I’m not mistaken, he won the Best Rear award (as well as another award) in 2018.