Queerty nearly popped an angry boner over the Vatican’s excluding from Seminaries “supporters of the so-called gay culture.” We wonder if all young male applicants will have to lower their pants, and if they’re wearing Calvin Klein briefs, it’ll be no life-long celibacy for them! And heaven forbid that a would-be seminarian say “Mary!”

King James

The ugly truth is that the Catholic Church is trying to clean up its public image in the wake of its sex abuse scandals. The abuse was not exclusively homosexual; additionally, as bad as if not worse than the actual abuse were the cover-ups of it on the part of Church authorities. But those same authorities, from the Pope down, know they can exploit bigotry against gay people by making a move giving the impression that the whole sex abuse scandal only happened because of the so-called “grave sin” of homosexuality.

That “so-called gay culture” bit comes like a corporal punishment ruler slap from a sadistic nun in a Catholic elementary school; the receiver is not guilty as charged, and the giver feels a creepy sexual thrill. Plato, da Vinci, James I of England; what does it reveal about the Vatican that it considers those figures part of a “so-called” culture? King James, actually, besides being homosexual, is responsible for the first vernacular translation of the Bible. The King James Bible was translated into English from Greek and contains no negative references to homosexuality (those pernicious references appeared in later so-called “revisions;” among scholars there is agreement that the later, anti-gay “corrections” are flat-out wrong as translations). Also, the King James Bible figured importantly as a literary inspiration to, among others, Lord Byron, Herman Melville, and Walt Whitman. What has the Pope written lately, apart from that ludicrous phrase concerning “the so-called gay culture”?

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