CRUEL CUTS

Your Penis Is Worth Nothing In Shelbyville, Kentucky

Mostly illiterate Kentucky truck driver Phillip Seaton (pictured) went into the hospital to get an adult circumcision. When he woke up, he found his entire penis had been lopped off. The aptly-named Dr. John Peterson says that “when he cut [Seaton’s] foreskin, the tip of the penis had the appearance of rotten cauliflower” indicating a cancer and that removing it saved Seaton’s life. He also says that Seaton had signed a consent form giving him “latitude to deal with unforeseen circumstances during the surgery.”

But Seaton says the consent only applies to “dangers of imminent death” and says he should have been consulted about his options before its removal. And so he sued the urologist for $16 million for “loss of service, love and affection.” However, a Shelbyville jury ruled against Seaton causing him to lose his case along with his penis.

He plans to appeal. Dr. Patterson said after the verdict, “I think we’re feeling pretty good.” Ummm… who is this “we” exactly?