If you watched the Tony Awards last night, I hope it wasn’t to experience the hosting prowess of Hugh Jackman.
Because unless you like jokes like: “The cast of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, ladies and gentlemen. Or as we call it in Australia, Hedwig and the Angry 2.54 Centimeters,” then you’d be sorely disappointed.
That doesn’t mean the night wasn’t without its magical moments though.
Here’s a rundown of notable conversation starters for your theater-geek friends:
1. The many mouth shapes of Idina Menzel
The If/Then actress gave a jaw-droppingly passionate performance last night, but equally impressive was how much her jaw actually dropped.
2. Audience members gawking at host Hugh Jackman
I mean, I get it. He’s gorgeous. But keep it together, guys.
3. Neil Patrick Harris’ Hedwig performance being everything
Like when he gave Sting a lap dance.
And Sting liked it.
Or when he grabbed Samuel L. Jacksons glasses off his face, licked the lenses, and gave them back (really).
And Samuel liked it.
But seriously, if you’re only going to watch five minutes of the Tonys, this is without question the number not to miss.
4. Whatever the hell Rocky: The Musical is
OK, Samuel L. Jackson introduced the show and actually calls Rocky: The Musical the show for “anyone who’s ever worked up the courage to say ‘I love you.’”
Thats…wow. I don’t even know what was happening here, but it was memorable if nothing else.
5. Alan Cumming being flawless
If you’re only going to watch ten minutes of the show, Alan Cumming’s Cabaret performance is nothing new, but stunning nonetheless.
6. Clint Eastwood’s empty chair
No, he wasn’t performing that sad song from Le Miz. Remember the weird speech Clint gave to an empty chair at the 2012 RNC? Well, he does.
Because he’s still doing schtick about it.
Two and a half years later.
7. Matt Bomer & Zachary Quinto being gorgeous
No performance to speak of here except for the genetic symphony that created these two beautiful men.
8. This guy’s tie
9. Hugh Jackman, TI and LL Cool J rapping The Music Man
Did this actually happen or was it a dream?
I have no words.