Congressional Republicans sure have some queer values.

You'll recall that the GOP went insane with outrage following Senator Larry Craig's toilet trolling arrest. So, too, with former Floridian Representative Mark Foley - although, to be fair, that one did involve sexual instant messages with teenage Congressional pages.

In contrast, Louisiana lawmaker David Vitter faced little party opposition after his hooker scandal. This week, meanwhile, there was little indignation over Alaska Senator Ted Stevens' corruption indictment. Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell barely said a word about it, but once demanded an Ethics Committee investigation into the Craig affair.

All of this leads super journalist Margaret Carlson to this not-surprising yet notable observation:

Let's take a civics quiz. In Congress which is worse: being corrupt or being gay? Time is up. Pencils down. If you answered being gay, you've been paying attention, class. Of the 10 Commandments, it is much better to break the one about stealing than the one about sex.

How does that song go? "Teach your children well…"

Republicans Larry Craig and David Vitter made headlines last week after cosponsoring a Senatorial act "protecting" marriage from the vile homosexual beasts.

This is hilarious, of course, because the men both had extramarital excursions last year. Seizing the absurd moment, Patriot Boy mocked up these faux ads mocking the hypocritical politicians.

Brilliant!

Marriage has again become a hot political topic!

House Republican Paul Broun of Georgia introduced a "marriage protection" measure last month and yesterday Republican Senator Roger Wicker introduced similar legislation. It reads:

Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any State, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman.

Larry Craig and David Vitter are key cosponsors of the act. Craig, of course, got busted cruising men in an airport bathroom, while Vitter carried on with whores. And these are the people "protecting" marriage? DC sure is a crazy place!

Republican Senator Trent Lott caused a sensation today when he announced his early retirement. Insisting that he's in good health, but neglecting to elaborate on why he's quitting five years early, Lott's revelation led some to speculate he's accepted a more lucrative private sector gig.

Big Head DC, however, wonders whether Lott's telling the whole truth.

Update: There's more finger pointing and scandal after the jump!

CONTINUED »

• Things are about to get very sticky for whore-loving Senator David Vitter:

The "D.C. Madam" served a subpoena Tuesday on Sen. David Vitter, R-La., requiring him to testify about his use of the Washington, D.C., escort service federal prosecutors say was a prostitution ring.

The subpoena calls on the freshman senator to testify at a federal court hearing Nov. 28 looking into the business operations of the $2 million escort service Deborah Jeane Palfrey operated in the nation's capital for 13 years.

And the Senate Ethics Committee remains silent.

• What do you do when you suspect your man's sticking other lovers? Smell his dick, of course.

• The Democrats seem poised to stop President Bush's recess appointment of anti-gay surgeon general nominee James Holsinger. Rather than calling a recess for the holidays, Senate Majority leader Harry Reid hopes legislatures will use "pro forma". 365Gay passes on Roll Call's extortionately expensive word:

Roll Call reports that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) is considering technically canceling the recess. According to the report Reid is mulling a "pro forma" session. In essence it would mean several members of the Senate would show up on the floor every three days keeping the Senate session alive. With no recess Bush would not be able to make a recess appointment.

You're one smart son of a gun, Harry Reid.

CONTINUED »

The Senate Ethics Committee will get a gay earful today. Or, rather, an eyeful.

DC-centric newspaper The Hill reports that The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force will challenge the investigation into Senator Larry Craig's toilet trolling arrest. NGLTF head honcho Matt Foreman writes to Barbara Boxer and Senator John Cornyn:

We are writing to state the inherent contradiction between your treatment of allegations of ethical misconduct by Senator Larry Craig and Senator David Vitter and to insist that you open an investigation into Sen. Vitter’s conduct. There is no explanation for the diametrically opposed responses to these two situations, other than hypocrisy tinged by homophobia. There are only two ways to resolve this: drop the investigation into Sen. Craig or investigate the allegations surrounding Sen. Vitter.

Vitter, of course, came under fire after admitting to canoodling with prostitutes. The Craig investigation doesn't only highlight the Republican party's anti-gay ways, but the Democrats, too. Isn't politics just icky?

CONTINUED »

The Larry Craig scandal revealed more than the Senator's "wide-stance".

CONTINUED »

Senator David Vitter found himself in the hot seat after his number appeared in a D.C. madam's phone records.

So, what does Vitter have to say for himself?

This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there _ with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way.

Perhaps all that cheating on his wife with a whore made Vitter realize that marriage needs some constitutional "protection" - he fought hard to amend the federal definition of holy matrimony.

(PS: How do you think Vitter knows God forgave him? Email??)

• Cyndi Lauper’s new album can be heard on her Sony site. Madonna’s not the only 80’s star releasing new material.

• Sen. David Vitter made a joke about gay marriage and many American deaths when describing the scene in Louisiana. “Unfortunately, it’s the crossroads where Katrina meets Rita. I always knew I was against same-sex unions.” We always knew we were against insensitive assholes. Via HRC.

• Madonna lectured a NYC film class. Must have been a seminar on “What not to do in Hollywood.”

• Gizmodo has uncovered new flower-powered Nokia cell phones for females. And fags.

• When NYC night-life was fierce. Nelson caught it all.