What a different a year makes. It’s hard to believe that just twelve months ago marriage equality was not yet the law of the land, Kim Davis was still living a quiet life in rural Kentucky, Caitlyn Jenner still went by the name Bruce, and Jeb Bush was the expected frontrunner for the 2016 Republican nomination for President.
We’re sure 2016 will have just as many unexpected surprises, so without any further ado, scroll down for our six psychic predictions of 2016…
Donald Trump will go down in flames.
Yes, he’s been surging in the polls for months. And, yes, he’s been dominating the news cycle since last summer. But we predict it’s only a matter of time before Donald J. Trump’s campaign runs out of the very thing it has been sustaining itself on: hot air. At the end of the day, likely Republican primary voters only make a small and highly unpopular part of the electorate. In order t0 win in a general election, the Donald will need to win over other groups as well, many of which he’s already gone out of his way to demonize, including immigrants, women, people with disabilities, blacks, Muslims, not to mention anyone with an iota of common sense. For some reason, LGBTQs are among the minority that has escaped his crusades largely free of attack. But we are not grateful. We want him gone.
Hillary Clinton will be elected President of the United States.
As much as we love Bernie Sanders, and as much as we love looking at Martin O’Malley, signs seem to point to Hillary Rodham Clinton winning the Democratic nomination for President and, ultimately, the White House. Look, boys & girls, let’s not make an enemy of the good. She is not the perfect candidate, but who is? She “evolved” on marriage equality, yes. She lacks the political skills of her husband. But she’s got balls of steel, learned by suffering at the hands of a philandering man (haven’t we all?) and has by far the most relevant experience, mastering everything from senate dealmaking to international diplomacy. And isn’t it about time we elected a woman to the Oval Office? Sure, it’s not relevant to qualifications. But her experience as a woman, like President Obama’s as a black man, will enrich her performance–and the nation–immeasurably.
Kim Davis will fade into obscurity.
She’s halfway there, but we predict by the end of 2016 Kim Davis won’t even be a footnote in history textbooks, and that’s juuuust fine with us.
Adele will break another record or five.
This one is a no brainer. Her latest album 25 has been out for less than two months and it’s already smashed several records. Not only did the lead single, “Hello,” sell over 1.1 million digital downloads in its first week, making it the fastest selling song of 2015, but the accompanying music video became the fastest video to reach 100 million views on Vevo. The album itself has already sold more than 12 millions copies and Ms. Adkins hasn’t even released the second single or started her tour, which, by the way, sold out in minutes. So, yeah, we think it’s safe to say Adele will break more than a few records in 2016.
Aaron Schock will mount a comeback.
After his epic implosion in March 2015, former totally-not-gay Republican congressman Aaron Schock of Illinois pretty much fell off the radar amid allegations that he had misused taxpayer money and campaign donations to fund his lavish, jetsetting lifestyle. He quit tweeting, blocked new Instagram followers, and stopped taking off his shirt for the covers of men’s health magazines. Then earlier this month, after nine months out of the spotlight, he resurfaced to post a tweet about his former office, which he had famously decorated to resemble the set of Downton Abbey, being repainted by incoming Rep. Darin LaHood. The tweet, trite as it was, garnered lots of attention, and we suspect there will be much, much more where that came from over the next year as the political narcissist contemplates his next move back into public life .
Colton Haynes will come out of the closet. Even more so.
The Arrow actor has kept one foot in and one foot out of the closet door for years, refusing to confirm or deny his apparent homosexuality. But on January 3, a random Tumblr user posted about how absolutely thrilled he was to learn about Haynes’ “secret gay past.” (He was, of course, referring to the notorious 2006 XY magazine nude photo shoot the actor posed for in which he locked lips with another dude.) Haynes took to his own Tumblr to say, “Was it a secret? Let’s all just enjoy life & have no regrets :).” Some have interpreted the comment as a signal. Others say he was just being coy. We predict the charade will end in 2016 with Haynes finally–finally!–breaking female hearts and acknowledging what everyone already knows to be true: He’s G-A-Y. Welcome to the club, dude.