What counts as losing your virginity when you’re gay? That’s what Bradley Birkholz wants to know.
In a new piece published by Gay Star News, Birkholz pontificates over the thought-provoking question.
“In the heterosexual community, the v-card is generally defined as being lost through vaginal intercourse, although it still depends on who you ask,” he writes. “In the LGBTI community, however, it is even harder to define.”
Related: Bi guy desperately wants to lose gay virginity to gym buddy but is too afraid to ask–Now what?!
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
The whole concept of virginity, Birkholz says, wasn’t made for LGBTQ people.
“And yet many in the gay community have simply adopted the term to be referred to anal intercourse instead–even though vaginal intercourse occurs in our community too!” he says.
He continues:
Some believe that you have to be both passive and active in intercourse to lose your virginity, where areas others believe you only have to take one of the said positions to lose virginity.
Then there are those like myself who feel any form of sexual intimacy results in a loss of virginity.
In my own opinion, there is no right or wrong answer. You lose your virginity when you feel that your virginity is lost.
What do you consider losing your virginity when you’re LGBTQ? Share your opinions in the comments section…
Related: Young Man “Feels Sick” After “Wasting” His Virginity On “Messy” Grindr Hookup
Frank
PERFECT AND TRUE ANSWER:
In my own opinion, there is no right or wrong answer. You lose your virginity when you feel that your virginity is lost.
No one in the gay community is checking your throat, penis or anus for stretch marks so I could say at 49 years old I am still a virgin and WHO could refute it
50 50
Agreed,
I would say for guys the first time you climax at the hands of another person, but you hear stories of women going years without climax so … ?
Paco
If the sex is like tossing a hotdog down a hallway, then they aren’t virgins.
Heywood Jablowme
It’s easy to see the logical absurdity in the “anal” definition. That way, some sweet young innocent thing could give hand-jobs to ten guys, and blow twenty guys, but as long as he hasn’t done anal he can still himself a “virgin”? Obviously that’s ridiculous!
bbg372
I would describe “sex” as “the direct stimulation of the genitals by another person.” By extension, after the first instance in which you have engaged in this, you would no longer be considered a virgin.
crumb bum
Or, alternatively, virginity is an unnecessary, fairly gross, and heterosexist concept, and our fascination with it primarily reflects the enduring strain of puritanism in our culture. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Hussain-TheCanadian
As a side note, what in gay hell is LGBTI???
crumb bum
http://bfy.tw/BS2c
mikenewby
hey crumb bum your condescending reply to this guys legitimate question is why people are so annoyed with us. maybe not act like a douch and reply properly and people will start tolerating us more instead us seeing us as burdens
JJinAus
Really? The question is asinine.
Rex Huskey
hey crummy, great answer. very clever…. how did you do that?
Hey newby-mike, who the hell is “us”…. you got a mouse in your pocket?? your pissy sissy attitude sure as f*ck don’t represent me or any of the men I know.
Lookyloo
@Rex Huxley – http://bfy.tw/QI
(the top hit is the actual ‘trick’ you to can use – followed by some explainer links if you’re still confused)
Alan down in Florida
My answer is that the first time you swap bodily fluids, saliva included, or cause another person of the same gender to orgasm you have officially been deflowered.
Tobi
You’re a virgin if haven’t taken a banana sideways….
isa
when you’ve done it, you know it. no need to ask
rogue4gay
From my perspect, losing virginity is the same as the definition of sex. Its also the same for str8, Bi, LGBTQ. When you do something with another person that you wouldn’t do in public (here is where exhibitionists are an exception). I told my kids this when they were in middle school. Circle jerks, hand jobs, oral sex, vaginal/anal sex, etc all count!
rogue4gay
One additional note. Masturbation especially to porn also counts! All of it is enjoying your sexuality.
kevininbuffalo
Personally I just enjoy being sexual and don’t worry about stuff like this.
Cylest Brooks
Virginity isn’t real.