Losing one’s virginity rarely goes off without a hitch. It tends to be rather awkward and uncomfortable and if you don’t walk away from the experience feeling a slight pang of embarrassment or regret, you’re lucky.
In a Reddit thread titled The fuck is sex supposed to ‘feel’ like?, a young gentleman shares the details of his unsatisfactory deflowering with a guy he met on Grindr.
“I just got back from my first Grindr hookup,” the confession beings, “and I feel sick with myself.”
Who can’t related to that?
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The confession continues: “I’ve occasionally fooled around with a guy in my school’s bathroom, but nothing like what I just did, like full on naked in bed kinda stuff.”
He goes on to explain that when he went over to the guy’s house everything started out fine. But halfway through their rendezvous, things went awry.
“I was feeling pretty okay when we both just unzipped our pants and starting fooling around,” he writes, “but once it got to full on nude skin contact on a bed, I don’t know, it just didn’t feel right. I’m not even sure if I liked it, it felt more like work than anything.”
The hookup ultimately ended with the other guy “finishing himself off” because the gentleman was unable to bring him to orgasm.
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“I’m just a mess right now,” he writes. “I feel like I just wasted my virginity on some random one night stand. I always wanted it to be special and memorable with someone who feels something for me too.”
He goes on to say that losing one’s virginity, he always believed, “was this shared time with someone and you both like fully sync up and stuff.” But his experience left him “feeling nothing. Just complete and utter numbness.”
“This was just a fucking mess I want to forget!” he bewails.
Luckily, his fellow Redditers have nothing but words of kindness and consolation for the gentleman.
“Sex is a skill like anything else that you build with another person,” one person writes. “Having sex with someone the first time you meet them is usually unsatisfactory and shitty. It’s more once you get to the fourth or fifth time having sex with someone that you feel completely comfortable, like one.”
“You’ll be okay,” someone else adds. “Lots of people don’t realize that hookup sex really might not be for them … Keep trying to find yourself and explore your comfort levels!”
Related: Five Tips To Losing Your Anal Virginity With Aplomb
What advice would you give this young man? Share your pearls of wisdom in the comments section below.
Irish Ryan
Slut!
Mao Lei
Better than me. I was “wasting” my virginity on the “worse messy” Craigslist. ð???
DCguy
“”“I feel like I just wasted my virginity on some random one night stand. I always wanted it to be special and memorable with someone who feels something for me too.”””
Ok, then why did you hook up on Grindr to lose it? It’s like asking to go to MacDonalds to celebrate your birthday and then crying because you always wanted to have a gourmet meal on your birthday.
Peter Jonsson
whore
Kangol
So he’s a romantic young drama queen who didn’t think through what a hook up might be like? Got it.
Girl, chalk it up to experience and now find someone to have a mutually emotionally enriching sexual relationship with.
Matthew Farris
Welcome to the club. Here’s your membership card.
Corey Walker
Oh sweetie, you’ll get used to that cheap dirty feeling
Dan Steele
I wonder how many of us have felt dirty after hooking up? I’ve hooked up more times than I can remember. To this day, I don’t really regret too many of them. I did, however, enjoy most of them.
o.codone
“I feel like I just wasted my virginity on some random one night stand”. Yup, that’s what you just did.
But, seriously, virginity is something to be rid of as soon as possible. So, practice makes perfect pup, get busy.
Billy Budd
@o.codone: I agree, you should get rid of virginity as soon as possible and forgetaboutit. Life goes on.
Dominique Mayfield
Let the slut shaming commence!
Realitycheck
BhA! Virginity only value comes from Christianity fairy tales & rules for non thinking sheeps in need of controlling.
While it would be nice to have “the” first time with some one special, fact is, that some one will most likely be gone in a short while, because he is your first one.
Everything in life needs experience, most people go through several relation ships before getting it right, so dear ” young gentleman” stop the recrimination and move on, nobody likes a whiner anyway.
Bob LaBlah
He is crazy if he thinks it is all over because he discovered the privacy and intimacy of a bedroom dwarfs that of a public restroom where you have to constantly be on the look out for others who can walk in at anytime. It was him, not the other person in my mind who has the problem. He has to learn intimacy. Once he learns that he will have a better understand of just what hookup sites are all about. SEX on demand and thats it.
Some how I doubt his ending of the story. He sounds like the type who is full of himself and can’t accept rejection. If some one were reluctant to remove their clothes or flinched every time they were being hugged or fondled that is a sign that it wasn’t worth the trouble which is what I read between his lines offered. I bet he bored the shit out of the other guy and the guy threw him out of his house. I have heard tales of people who showed a “hookup” the door when they refused to give a COMPLETE medical history or started to notice this person was not worth the trouble. And keep in mind, these are total strangers they have let into their homes.
Tobi
“I feel like I wasted my virginity…” OK, he’s channeling his inner nineteenth-century debutante. Oh, and the reason he feels sick is that he’s probably pregnant. *sigh*
Joel Quinones
Guilt serves no purpose. It holds you hostage. Learn your lessons and move on I say.
Sand Nierenberg
Don’t do it and you won’t feel ashamed do it with someone you care about not just sex for the sake of having sex what are you pigs
Glücklich
Put away the Sunday School handouts and get over it for chrissakes pussy.
Shit, I lost my gay virginity on a secluded roadside in the bad old days of dial-up AOL chat rooms. It was hot. I didn’t regret it then and I don’t regret it now.
Andres Burrows-Garibay
Ian Sharp
Roan
My cherry was so special, I sold it on Grindr. Uh huh. By, Felicia.
Stache
Wow. The Virginity title is really getting expanded out these days.
Trevor McGee
Grindr should come with a warning label! What did he think was gonna happen!? Oh, that’s right…. I forget, I was young once too. I’ll say this, in the long run, I’ve been glad to find out what life is really like. Illusions don’t last forever. Sooner or later, this kind of thing was going to happen to him anyways. His hang up on the “V” aspect of it, is what’s causing the stress. Let that go, & move on. If sex, love, & a relationship are important, then really, with sincerity, I say “Go find it for yourself!” But, what happened, well that’s part of life too.
JD Wallace
Its a hook up app, did he expect flowers and candy..come on..
John Begin
Lol. I hope he gets over himself one day and has a good long hearty laugh at himself. How precious!!
Richard Hall
Heteronormative bullshit, life is not a a RomCom, and sex is often bad, seeing as a community we can communicate about such things why don’t we?
How about we do not adopt the prudish crap of the hetro’s?
Mark Hesselgrave
Well, he just learned that not all sex is good sex. Unfortunately, it was also his first.
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gaym50ish
Get over it, kid! Virginity isn’t something you “waste” any more than you “waste” a graduation. You will have good lays and bad lays in your life, and the first isn’t necessarily one of the good ones. If you can live with fooling around in a school bathroom you can live with this. There was nothing dirty or shameful about either one, and in a few years you’ll have plenty of good memories to erase the bad.
Kenneth Hister
Virginity isn’t real. We made it up. Christians “restart” their virginity.
Doughosier
Anyone really like the first time? Practice makes perfect.
David Kent
Your virginity isn’t currency in gayworld, mister…. Would rather have a man with experience any day
Merv
Grindr is the worst. They’re all walking Petri dishes.
Marky
You can’t be a virgin if you don’t have a hymen. That virginity is lost when it’s broken. Via sex, sports, whatever. Most people who believe they are virgins, aren’t, because they gave it their all on a sports field or during gymnastics class or something. It’s a stupid concept from olden times when women could get their “price marked up” if they were virgins. Stupid girl logic. Don’t employ it.
muscular
The headline seems a little deceiving. When a gay man ends virginity, I consider it to be a man’s first ass fuck. He simply stripped naked and was brought to ejaculation by another man. If this is the end of gay virginity, what is stripping naked, lubing the anus, spreading legs and getting anally penetrated called?