David Whitley: Wanting To Keep Gays Off The Kiss Cam Makes Me A Good Father, Not a Homophobe

Writing at AOL’s sports blog Fanhouse, David Whitley addresses the St. Louis Cardinals’ Kiss Cam Controversy, a term I just coined to make this post sound more more interesting. You know what I’m talking about: Where some 200 gays hitting the ballpark for an organized event tried to get the team to feature the ‘mos on the jumbotron, but ultimately failed? Well Whitley is siding with the MLB team on this one. Because: Two guys kissing? Ewwwsville!

Writes the future Father Of The Year:

Adam Sandler kissed Jack Nicholson at a Lakers game last year and everybody found it hilarious. Now same-sex kissing is back in the news, only it’s not so easy to laugh off. A group of gay men and lesbians want “Kiss Cam” equality. The group has an outing planned for Saturday’s St. Louis Cardinals game, and members would like to be shown giving each other a smooch. That ought to go over real well in Middle America.

I’d like to take the socially enlightened high road on this one, but I can’t help sympathizing with that father who’ll be sitting next to his son or daughter at Busch Stadium. “Daddy, why are those two men kissing?”

“Umm, err, hey isn’t that Albert Pujols coming to bat?”

If you have similar qualms, does that make us homophobic? I’d like to think not, but then I’ve never sat in a gay person’s seat during “Kiss Cam.”

Nope, but he has sat in a straight person’s seat! And this is why he doesn’t want to see two dudes on the big screen touching lips:

Because I’m not ready to discuss same-sex relationships with my 3-year-old. I don’t think she’s ready, either. I suppose at this point I should say that some of my best friends and relatives are gay. All the usual disclaimers sound empty to some activists.

To them, the old Shield-the-Kids excuse simply masks an underlying bias. A same-sex smooch is no different than if Nicholson had planted a wet one on Dyan Cannon. If “Kiss Cam” showed an interracial couple, would you quickly cover Little Johnny’s eyes?


The sooner my kids see examples of racial harmony, the better. But this issue has torn up entire religions. Call me homophobic, but I just don’t think a 5- or 10-year-old brain is ready to tackle those complexities.

Know what also tore up entire religions? Interracial marriage! Oh, and inter-faith marriage! Somehow kids’ brains did not explode, and fathers managed to wake up the next morning.

The term “homophobe” gets tossed around pretty easily these days, but this is a classic example of it: Mr. Whitley is literally scared of gay people, or at least putting their affection in front of children.

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  • scott ny'er

    These people just don’t get it. it’s so Simple.

    “daddy, why are 2 men kissing.”

    “kiddo, they are showing affection to each other like everyone else.”

    “but they are 2 men”

    “that will happen at times. now let’s get ready to watch the game”

    See, even if you’re religious, it can be done and you won’t have to say you support it or don’t support it.

  • greybat

    My Mom would have just said, “Oh… they’re just showing off!”

  • Jeremy

    Sure…kids has so many questions about gays. Besides the others like “why is the sky blue?”, “why does our dog lick his balls?” or “why does mom call you an asshole sometimes?”. If you can find time to tackle all of those questions, I don’t think your kids’ questions about “two men kissing each other” will bother him that much.

  • uu

    This kind of asshole makes me so much madder than any religious maniac who’d rather see me dead, because at least they, the maniacs, have the integrity to be honest about their warped views. They’re nuts but honest. These people on the other hand, the assholes, do not care to think. They evade thought and moral responsibility for ease. They exhibit the kind of laziness that keeps people ignorant from the important things in the world, the attitude that is supremely egocentric.

  • EdWoody

    What these people don’t understand is that there’s nothing to discuss. If the kids sees two men kissing, they can just say, “Yeah that happens, no big deal” and move on. The lack of reaction is a better example to set their kids than making a big production.

    I have a sister with two kids, seven and nine. They’ve known me and my boyfriend as a couple all their lives. They come in in the morning to bounce on our shared bed. And they’ve never had a problem.

    Kids can handle the truth. It’s adults who can’t.

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    He’s not homophobic. He’s anti-gay, which is much worse.

  • RomanHans

    Q: Why are they kissing?

    A: They ran out of condoms.

  • Latebrosus

    As the writer at Outsports commented, kids aren’t born homophobic; if you want to put it another way, they aren’t born hetero-centric, either. You tell the kid the two men are love, and, just like any other two people in love, they kiss.

    You don’t turn it into an implicit lesson in homophobia.

  • UMB

    Sounds like an excellent opportunity to be a good parent:

    “Daddy, why are those two men kissing?”

    “Because they love each other.”

    Their heads would only explode if you taught them it was wrong. Kids will accept anything you teach them; homophobia, racism, Christianity, or–shockingly–not being a bigot. I’d suggest the last one.

  • Fitz

    I’d question the value in exposing a 3 year old to anyone’s foreplay.

  • Carson

    @Fitz: @Fitz: I’d question your parenting skills.

Comments are closed.