Sooo…A guy walks into a bar…meets a drag queen…and 5 years later he’s in glitter up to his ears!
That is not a joke, y’all. It’s what would go on the sleeve of my 4th memoir (I’ve already themed three prior imaginary memoirs). The title of my book would be Glitter In The Hair…get your mind out of the gutter, it’s just a fun wordplay on the P!nk song. The reason for this title is that my boyfriend of over 5 years, Travis Barr a.k.a Anita Buffem, has been away for an entire week. In that week, I have showered every day…yet still I found a piece of something shiny and pink in my right eyebrow during an intense wrinkle search. Hence, G in the H!
Are you contemplating wooing a cross dresser? Let me tell ya, it ain’t for the faint of heart. Yes, you will fall in love and it will be grand, but then you move in together. You will share a room together. You, him…AND her!
SHE will not have a head of long luscious locks. She will have 15-20 heads of hair. All staring at you with no eyes from their styrofoam faces.
When you pick up the laundry you always drop off, Margarita will look at you funny because this time she had to rinse out a pair of nude fishnets and three triple D bras along with your plain black T’s. She thought you were gay, now you’re dating a modest and busty hooker!
I bet you thought you’d never have a tutu in your home. Wrong!
Did you know that Betsey Johnson makes elaborate necklaces of cougars, crabs, ice cream cones and Day Of The Dead skulls? Do you know how much they cost??? Whatever happened to good ole fashioned Claire’s boutique! It’s good enough for malls across America!
You get my point, it ain’t always a picnic. However, there is a silver lining.
A silver rhinestoned and sequined lining. You will be surprisingly and utterly inspired. You will be in awe…because the love of your life has the balls (often tucked up in him) to do everything it takes to pursue and live out his passion!
He stands on stilettos for hours performing his heart and soul out. He always takes the time to smile and pose for that 120th picture even if it’s for dumb tourists who want to show Bob and Betty Beercan back home the crazy thing they saw in NYC.
You will realize that you have no excuse not to do everything on your list of daydreams because you can just do it in your jeans and converse. If he can do everything it takes to be a drag queen, then you can go out and put something on the line for your passion. I tell you this from experience. Who do you think I have to thank for writing again?
A little over 5 years ago, I was waiting tables, not acting, not writing. I was going through the motions of living in NYC, fantastically, but not creatively. When I met Travis and saw everything that it took to put a show together, all the creative energy that flowed and the fact that he wasn’t waiting for a casting person to begin his career for him, I was taken aback. I quickly became enthralled with drag performers in the city as well as on RuPaul’s Drag Race. I basically found a tribe of actors who create characters and then become entrepreneurs who create their own performance opportunities. They were just like me minus the eyeliner. Aside from Anita, I now have comedy role models in Willam and Bianca Del Rio to go alongside my comedy legends, Sarah Silverman and John Leguizamo…who, by the way, has done drag plenty!
I’m now doing creative things on the daily! So, by all means, fall in love with a queen. You will end up being surrounded by the most extraordinary group of artists. Sure, it takes a little getting used to, but you will be motivated. You will be inspired. You will be grateful.
Also, remember when you were little and you liked walking back in forth in a full length mirror in your mom’s pumps when no one was looking. You can now do that ALL THE TIME!
What’s a little glitter?!?