Lauren Swindell is married to an openly gay man named Aaron. And that’s OK with her. Because God led them to each other, and God knows everything.
In a recent post on her blog “Courage To Hope,” Swindell talks about being married to a man who is not sexually attracted to her.
“Why did I agreed to marry a man who is Same Sex Attracted?” she writes. “I’ll do my best to explain that in this post. To me, Aaron isn’t a same-sex attracted man. He is just…..Aaron. My Aaron.”
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She and Aaron live in Simi Valley, California, where they run a window cleaning business.
Swindell continues: “There was always something that set Aaron apart from others I have dated in the past. Does it have to do with his same-sex attraction? I’m not sure. … Maybe growing up same-sex attracted gave him a different perspective when it came to relationships.”
She explains that Aaron didn’t tell her he was gay until their fourth or fifth date. When he did, she was completely taken aback.
“I was in total shock!” she recalls. “I cried with friends, I processed and I prayed. At the end of panic, in the quiet times, I only saw Aaron. He is one of the greatest men I have ever met.”
And so… she married him!
“If same-sex attraction was the only reason I could think of to not pursue a relationship with him, was that reason enough?” Lauren writes. “For me it wasn’t.”
“He didn’t trick me into this,” she continues. “He wasn’t using me. He’s never been deceitful about his feelings.”
She adds:
Throughout his life being same-sex attracted, he has always stood firm in his faith, conviction, trust, hope and love for God. He has incredible restraint and self-control. He has been open and honest with people, sought council, surrounded himself with accountability and mentors. I know it must have been so hard. In my opinion, he lives a life that I whole heartedly respect. How could I fault him and discount his faithfulness to God?
Swindell admits that her husband “isn’t perfect,” but neither is she.
“I know Aaron will struggle,” she says. “I know that from time to time his mind will wander. Just because we are married, doesn’t mean the same-sex attraction will magically go away. It’s a part of who he is.”
“My hope is that he keeps his eyes fixed on God, so that when his mind does wander, it won’t wander too far or for too long.”
Related: They’ve Only Been Married A Month And Her Christian Husband Just Confessed That He’s Gay
redcarpet30
What a pathetic sad man that can’t confront the truth and forces himself into that prison of a marriage when he didn’t even have to. And he’s probably delusional enough to say he’s perfectly happy. It’s his choice but it’s still pathetic and pitiable.
radiooutmike
I’m all for whatever floats your boat… But, perhaps, he is ‘same-sex attracted’ and asexual that’s about the only sane reason I can think of to do this.
I was with a woman for 23 years before I finally came out, and I don’t think I was in a closet as deep and with a conscious construct as his. If he is a fundamentalist Christian, perhaps he met the only woman and has the only church that ‘supports’ him?!
I think in this day and age, if he wanted a formal religion-type relation to a god; he could certainly find a church that would be welcoming of his spirituality and sexuality.
Herman75
He didn’t trick me into this. God did.
DarkZephyr
Oh dear. I feel very sorry for both of them. They are both victims of the abusive teachings of their religion. And that annoying “same sex attracted” term is very prevalent among Christians in situations like this because they prefer not to use the word “gay” for some reason. When I was a practicing Catholic my Catholic friends HATED when I said that I was “gay but chaste” and they pretty much bullied me into saying “Same Sex Attracted” or “SSA” instead. I got so brain washed by the bullying that for a time I didn’t even identify as gay anymore. Just “SSA”.
Anyway, as a result, I almost made this exact same mistake years ago because I was a ridiculously devout and obedient Roman Catholic who remained “chaste for love of God”. My fiancee knew that I was “same sex attracted” and she was absolutely fine with it. We were just gonna live our lives and I was gonna force myself to have sex with her every so often just so our marriage would be officially consummated OR we were going to try to get what’s called in the Catholic Church a “Josephite Marriage” where you are granted a special dispensation to have a marriage that you do not physically consummate.
It took her dumping me for another man for me to wake the hell up, and that helped to start me on the path to loving my entire self as I began to closely examine the teachings of Christianity concerning LGBT people and how it made me feel. I am now an agnostic and happier than I have ever been with a beautiful man who is the love of my life. It was a process getting here.
As a side note, interestingly enough, my ex-fiancee is not with the man she left me for. Instead she is in the process of marrying ANOTHER openly gay but “chaste” Catholic man. She seems to have a thing for gay men. I wasn’t the first she dated. They will be getting a Josephite Marriage.
Prax07
Pathetic, both of them, just pathetic. To let religion and a dead god rule your life, just pathetic.
Donston
As long as they’re thoroughly honest with each other it doesn’t really matter. I understand that religion often leads to a very distorted view of self and of the world. But once those views become locked into your conscious it can be virtually impossible to separate yourself from them and understand how to retain morals and ethnics and feel like a good person without being tied to Dogma. It is what it is. Religion is like a more concentrated sociology. There’s a pretty good chance that at this point he probably couldn’t have a healthy, committed, satisfied relationship with a man, that only being with a woman satisfies both his ego and moral compass. And yes, many women gain complexes for gay men for numerous reasons, though very few admit it. Who else would want to deal with such headcases? So, whatevs.
Richard 55
Good on this conservative Christian woman for accepting Aaron. They make a perfect match.
Most liberal women would run a million moles from any man with homosexual desires. These women find male homosexual desire to be a threat to female privilege….to girl power. They are very intolerant women.
Richard 55
I love to see how intolerant liberal gay-identifying men can be. You are just as bad as liberal women. You think male homosexual desire should be segregated from women because you want to maintain female privilege.
Liberal gay-identifying men are the biggest homophobes along with liberal women. Sucks to be you.
Donston
Every other day it’s a new edit to your “stance”. So, now, it’s a Liberal thing? I consider myself “Liberal” in most respects. Yet, I understand that everyone’s psychology, sociology and what they value most is different. What drives everyone’s “lifestyle” and sexual behavior is different, and we should accept that. And most of the women I know who have dated men they knew were gay (including female my exes) were anything but Christian or Conservative. So, come up with something else to justify your self-hate, woman hate and constant promotion of gay men holding on hetero dynamics.
ChrisK
I think most would agree that “sucks to be you” would apply to the Brian troll best.
Donston
Yes, he’s clearly a very sad, angry man who is and probably will be alone.
Josh447
Don’t kid yourself cheese ball, Conservative and irrational are the same term when it comes to religion.
Kathukid
It was an interesting story until she brought up “god”.
tr6886
it sounds as like one of stories from Mormon cult.
Jack Meoff
More lives being ruined by religion. When will people learn.
Richard 55
I’m very glad that this male/female couple has a delightful marriage. It disproves the gay mafia’s notion that a man cannot choose the sex of his partner. It’s refreshing, actually.
Personally, I believe the gay mafia has harmed male sexuality in an overall sense. It has created a cult that requires total obedience to the edicts of fake gay activists invented by the Left.
Josh447
Yeah, like you heard it from both sides. They both are working with major deficits. Get real cupcake.
Josh447
And you really need to stop taking advice from your blow up doll Brian. You know. Your only friend.
Herman75
Exactly.
Maybe if she’d drop a few pounds, bathe before bed put on some makeup and so on he’d try slipping her the sausage. At least he might give it through the back door.
Win/win and thank you Jeebuz!!
Josh447
There’s nothing quite as dreadful and dangerous to society as is a religiously terraformed mind.
Stilinski26
Well to each of their own at least he’s not being prosecuted or beheaded
Sluggo2007
Just another example to show that religion is pure BS.