A gay man who claims to have hooked up with a straight guy on his birthday wonders what he should do now that the candles have been blown out and the cake has been eaten. So, naturally, he’s turning to the Reddit community for guidance.
“I went out with some friends to a straight dive bar,” the birthday boy explains. “This guy approached me to wish me a happy birthday … and I decided to be flirty even though I was out of my element.”
Wait a minute. A gay man going to a straight dive bar for to celebrate his birthday? Is anyone else’s suspicions raised by this?
Related: “Straight” Guys Are Having More Bisexual Sex Than Ever Before, Study Finds
How about we take this to the next level?
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The birthday boy continues: “We were chit chatty throughout the night as he was flirting with a couple girls in the bar. At one point I decided to be competitive with this girl who was kinda throwing herself at him … and suddenly his attention started shifting to me.”
After some witty banter and suggestive body language, the alleged straight dude looked deep into the birthday boy’s eyes and said: “You’re with me tonight,” then suggested he join him back at his place, which was conveniently located within walking distance of the bar.
The birthday boy, who insists he’s never been “the type that’s obsessed with straight guys,” agreed.
“On the way up the stairs he tells me ‘I’m not really used to this,’ which kinda caught me off guard,” the birthday boy says. “As soon as the door closes to his apartment, he starts kissing me. We head back to his bed and things escalate from there. The whole time he was the pursuer. He always decided what we did and what positions.”
The shenanigans lasted until 5 o’clock in the morning.
Related: Has Gay Men’s Obsession With ‘Straight’ Guys Gone Too Far?
Now, the man isn’t sure what to do.
“Would it be weird to reach out to this guy?” he asks. “He gave me his number before we hooked up. On one hand I don’t want to bug him, but on the other I just want to check in and make sure he’s cool and not having some kind of crisis over his sexuality or anything like that.”
The birthday boy wonders: “I know my first experience with a guy was kinda bittersweet because I hadn’t really come to terms with that beforehand. Hoping he’s not in the same boat. Any thoughts?”
Naturally, his fellow Redditers had lots of thoughts, which they waste no time sharing.
“Why on earth are you calling this guy ‘straight’?” someone asks. “How is he straight?”
“Straight guys don’t do this shit,” another person writes. “Sorry to disrupt your fetish.”
“I hate this ‘I f-cked a straight guy’ shit,” someone else adds. “Like, that is an oxymoron, an impossibility. No, boo, you f-cked a dude who doesn’t call himself gay. There’s a diff.”
To which someone else responds: “I mean, it’s not totally impossible. A straight guy can experiment and then realize that he’s not gay afterwards. Plus rape is a thing.”
To which someone else clarifies: “Rape is not sex.”
Related: The Gay-Straight Binary Is Eroding. That’s Good For Everyone.
The majority of commenters seem to agree that the man is likely bisexual.
“This was soooo not his first time,” one person predicts.
“Obviously bi,” another person adds. “He’s not gonna go through any crisis for this shit.”
“Quite likely he’s curious, the opportunity came along so he went with it,” a third person hypothesizes.
“Judging by this, it isn’t his first time,” someone else agrees. “He may be bi.”
And as for whether the birthday boy should reach out to his allegedly straight paramour, the general consensus there seems to be: Sure, why not?
“Suppose a ‘hey how’s things’ text couldn’t hurt,” one person says. “If you don’t get a reply then that’s confirmation enough I would say that he isn’t interested.”
“By all means give him a call,” someone else adds. “WTF is the worst thing that can possibly happen if you do?”
“Text him in a casual way, like ‘how have you been lately,'” a third person suggests. “He doesn’t sound like dating material, but maybe he could make a nice f-ck buddy, assuming he’s good in bed and you are OK with it.”
What advice would you give this guy? Share your thoughts in the comment section below…
martinbakman
Call him once. Leave message. Drop it until he calls back.
Billy Budd
I would not even call him. I would send a message on whats@pp and say whats up bro, and tell him that I had a lot of fun last night.
zooby
This might come as a shock, but not all of us are into “straight guys” (aka closet cases or Brian). Give me a confident guy who is out and living an authentic life any day over these cowards.
bottom250
Enjoy the experience and let him go back to his wife and kids and then be there for him when he needs to be in you again.
zooby
@bottom250: One word for you: Karma
bottom250
@zooby: Honey I am put on earth to serve men. My body is there for their needs.
Terrycloth
Straight ? Straight to bed.he got what he wanted .probably be out looking again tonight.who knows ? Bisexual maybe .
gayhope1990
Yeah I believe that.Just a few words:Get up.A straight guy don’t wanna anything with another guy.A straight wants to fuck women,period.
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
Usually they immediately start babbling about a wife or girlfriend they didn’t mention before as they rush to put on their clothes and leave or rush you to put on yours and to get out of their work hotel room. Then you never see them again.
CaliKyle
@gayhope1990: Not always true. We have no problem accepting that women who have had same sex experiences can still be straight but do not extend that same logical, realistic thinking to guys who have done the same. The ironic part of this widespread hypocrisy is that on average males have significantly higher sex drives than females and are more often interested in sexual kink or taboo. So, yes, straight or mostly straight (not fully bi) guys absolutely do sexually experiment with other guys to one degree or another, especially from middle school through college. Because society does not accept or tolerate it straight males are loathe to admit to any guy on guy action, even anonymously. Yet while coeds are making out and feeling each other up in public mostly for the purpose of attracting male attention, a significant minority of their male counterparts are quietly, carefully hooking up in private for the purpose of getting off in a taboo way. Been there, done them enough times to know who is gay closeted vs straight curious.
Mo Bro
NEWSFLASH:
Not every man with a girl on his arm is 100% hetero. Some fall into that, y’know, “B” category of the whole lgbt thing . . .
Dave Downunder
If some married guy is out looking for sex with men then I say just use him for sex and send him home to his wife with no regrets. If it’s not you he hooks up with it will just be someone else. How he deals with it and justifies his actions to himself is not your concern that’s for him to deal with. Just don’t get attached and try to turn it into an ongoing thing. That never works.
Mikah92
There’s A LOT of “straight” guys out there.I regularly enjoy them.
chuck
I started to realize as I grew older that complete heterosexuality is a myth…
zooby
@bottom250: Again – karma. I hope your future husband / BF does the same thing to you and uses your excuse when you catch him cheating – “[his] body is there for [my] needs” … Taken your PrEP yet?
@Mikah92: “Straight” guys
@Dave Downunder: “If it isn’t you, it’ll be someone else” And exactly THAT is the reason why these closet cases refuse to come out, because people like you are letting them have their cake and eat it too.
@CaliKyle: These women kiss and peck with girls at parties for fun – they aren’t looking for anonymous gay sex on an app every day. How can you even claim these guys who purposely seek men for sex regularly are straight? You’re insane. These guys are NOT straight, they are having sex with men. Sorry to ruin your “I hook up with straight guys” fantasy.
JamJewel
He could be your one-and-only! If you are into someone who is “…the pursuer. He always decided what we did and what positions.” then by all means, check him out and see what happens. Don’t judge before knowing exactly what’s going on.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
It’s so ridiculous these articles. No matter what straight men do: gay bash, murder gays, fire gays, throw their gay kid out onto the street, massacre gay…gay men still lust after these assholes. Fuck you all. Really, fuck you all.
Paco
“The whole time he was the pursuer. He always decided what we did and what positions.”
—–
Then wait for him to call or text you. But since he had you…. The pursuit is likely over. Move on Mary. There are other gay and bisexual men faking straight to get laid easily by queens with a straight fetish.
CaliKyle
@zooby: I graduated from college in 2008 and many of the girls there did much more than “kiss and peck.” Teens through twenties is a time of experimentation for a lot of people in lots of different ways. I agree with you that if an adult male continues from youthful experimentation to regular hook ups with other men then he is either bi or gay. My post merely pointed out that society tolerates and is titillated by girl on girl sex but horrified and repulsed at the very suggestion of guy on guy. Its a hypocritical and unfair response to something that does in fact happen among straight males. You may categorize such activity as non existent “fantasy” but my personal experiences indicate otherwise. Btw, your hostile tone and insults do nothing to support your viewpoint and only reflect poorly on you.
CaliKyle
@Baba Booey Fafa Fooey: Some but not most straight men are so homophobic that they gay bash, etc but some self loathing closeted gay men do the same thing. A few but not most gay men are insecure and self defeating to the point where they lust exclusively after straight guys but most of us lust after guys we think are hot, regardless of orientation. Absolute characterizations and sweeping generalizations are the fuel of bigotry and hate no matter who makes them.
bottom250
@zooby: Get off your high horse. I enjoy sex with men and I won’t be ashamed of that. Some of those men are husbands and fathers but it is not my place to dictate how they live their life.
Dave Downunder
@zooby: Get a grip buddy these guys are never coming out of the closet because they are not gay. It’s not the fact that he is sleeping with both men and women that I care about it’s that he is married and leading a double life. These guys are bad news if you try to get involved with them.
zooby
@CaliKyle: Ah. See, now you’re saying something different and agreeing with me. Who the hell cares what society tolerates? That is not an excuse to be a closeted coward. Straight my ass. These guys know what they want and like and it is not like it is a one-time thing. You have to be semi-attracted to someone to sleep with them. But keep holding on to your false fantasy. Your ignorance reflects poorly on you.
@bottom250: I hope your the guy your partner cheats on you with uses that excuse as well.
bottom250
@zooby: I am not in any relationship so many men so little time
MediaGuy
@chuck: yeah, you’re right. The minute a straight guy is with a gay guy, he’s no longer “straight”.
DCguy
Can we start using the word “Closeted” instead of “Straight”? This is getting ridiculous.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
@DCguy: Indeed.
ErikO
These men are not hetero/straight at all, they’re gay or if they’re sexually attracted to both genders/sexes bisexual. But then you have a lot of gay men who lust after hetero men and obsess over them, or who even need the fantasy that they’re having sex with an actual hetero/straight guy.
Malcolm Forest
@ErikO: you got that “straight” on 🙂
SAasianboi
I’m sorry but this sounds more like a porno fantasy or something, I’m not saying it didn’t happen but it just really sounds like a bad 15 mins porno.
SAasianboi
@zooby: agreed….
surreal33
Say Thank you, offer to exchange numbers leave and go your separate ways.