A transgender woman says she was groped by a stranger and called homophobic and transphobic slurs by a group of friends at Dallas BBQ in Times Square, and that management didn’t go far enough to ensure her safety.
Andre St. Clair is a self-described artist and advocate living in New York City, where she works in event management and fundraising for LGBT organizations.
On Saturday night, January 16, she dined at Dallas BBQ Times Square with friends. As she walked through the restaurant to meet other friends she spotted at the location, she says she was grabbed aggressively by a stranger:
“As I’m passing the table to walk over, the guy grabbed my thigh. Yes, in a sexually aggressive manner. I slapped his hand away and said ‘do not touch me.’ There were two females in the group I think, and one said “ooooh she said do not touch her.”
St. Clair thought that was the end of the incident, but unfortunately it wasn’t:
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“So the guy comes over to the table and strokes my arm. I said “do not touch me. I already told you once, do not touch me…He proceeds to ask me…’you can’t get mad at me for this, I just need to know…are you a man or a woman?’ I said ‘do not come over to my table and ask me such a ridiculous question.’ And I asked ‘are YOU a man or a woman?’”
At that point, the man retreated, but St. Clair found herself livid at her mistreatment both as a transgender person and as a woman. She then returned to the table to confront the group, which she says was comprised of about six to eight African-American or Latino men and women:
“It was that thing where a man thinks he can touch a woman any time he wants to. So when they started laughing and turning around at us I actually did go over to them and said to the group ‘this is ridiculous, you can’t do this to people, and you’re all assholes.’ At that point, people started getting irate, I went back to my table and they started yelling homophobic and transphobic slurs.”
“Both of my friends got up to say ‘this isn’t right, we’re just trying to enjoy our meal and you’re harassing us.’ At this point security has still not come over. So one man comes over and like ‘it’s just that my boy was feeling her or him or whatever’ and at that point my friend Giselle explains to management what’s going on.”
St. Clair and friends wanted the offending group removed from the restaurant completely, but management and security simply moved them to another part of the restaurant. When they objected, they were dismissed by Dallas BBQ’s security team and manager and told to “call the police.”
St. Clair recently filed a police report with the Midtown South Precinct. Her friend Giselle Phelps posted a video of the argument with the security and management team to twitter:
Manager at Times Square @DallasBBQ refused to take harassment & physical threats against trans woman serious! FAIL pic.twitter.com/spNRkPrQJw
— Giselle Phelps (@GisellePhelps) January 17, 2016
Queerty reached out to the Times Square Dallas BBQ General Manager Carlos Guidel for his take on the incident, and he insisted nothing happened. (NOTE: we can’t confirm whether or not the man in the video is Guidel.) After a bit of back and forth about that fact that, well, something happened, we had this exchange:
Guidel: “Sir, how can I comment on something that didn’t happen? Nothing happened.”
Queerty: “So there was nobody that came to you and shared that they were physically threatened at the restaurant?”
Guidel: “Sir, once again, are you fishing and asking for me to comment on something that didn’t happen? Nothing happened!”
Queerty: “Well, you’re telling me that someone was asked whether they were a man or woman so something happened.”
Guidel: “Well, didn’t I tell you that already? And I said to you that’s all that happened. Nothing else happened. I told you what happened, and that’s what happened.”
Queerty: “So nobody asked you to remove anyone else?”
Guidel: “Yeah, the lady was offended about the question and she asked me to remove the people, so I moved them to the other side of the restaurant. That’s it.”
Queerty: “But you didn’t remove them from the restaurant.”
Guidel: “For asking a question like that?”
Queerty: “So you decided not to remove them even though she said she was physically threatened?”
Guidel: “She wasn’t physically threatened. See you’re trying to fish and make me say something. Nothing happened. That’s all that happened. Do you want me to make up a story for you and tell you that something did happen?”
Queerty: “I don’t want you to make up a story at all.”
Guidel: “I’m giving you direct answers and you’re asking me to elaborate. Nothing happened sir, that’s all that happened. That’s it. There were no threats, no violence, no crime committed, nothing happened. I separated the tables and that’s it, sir.”
So, there you have it.
Over and over again we’re reminded that trans women are one of the groups most vulnerable to violence in the LGBTQ community.
This incident a stark reminder of the real-world harassment transgender people go through every day, and makes us wonder how many trans women faced behavior like this before things turned violent.
St. Clair has sent a formal letter of complaint to the executive management of Dallas BBQ and is mulling what further action she will take.
Brian
New York can be a very ugly place for transgenders. Many of the assaults that occur against transgenders occur in New York. The management of the venue need to explain their side of the story. Harassment and assaults are totally unacceptable against anybody.
Glücklich
The exchange is painful and maddening to read. The restaurant manager should have referred press inquiries to corporate.
Also, Times Square is to be avoided like the plague.
Ummmm Yeah
Probably just a transgender con job to extort money out of the restaurant.
Realitycheck
She should have called the police and press sexual assault charges,
cannot touch or grab people……
@Ummmm Yeah: Did you not hear what the manager said? The perpetrator apologized, so it is true.
Realitycheck
Considering this the second time in few months we hear about a violent event at
Dallas BBQ and who knows how many aren’t reported, we should all write a
formal complain note to Dallas BBQ, requesting the manager be fired.
If anything the manager should not have walked away.
You can write to Dallas BBQ here.
http://www.dallasbbq.com/feedback
JerseyMike
Living NY, I would never go to the BBQs in Time Square. Its only filled with tourist. Did it once with some family visiting NY.. Once he touched you her, she should have gone to management. Stuff like that you don’t need to get into a shouting match.. You don’t know how in will turn out or who you are dealing with.
Realitycheck
@JerseyMike: She did, LOL the video is her and her friend talking to the coward manager, she should have called the police.
JerseyMike
@Realitycheck: I know she spoke to the manager. when he grabbed her the first time she should have spoken the manager. There should not have been any back and forth.
Ummmm Yeah
@Realitycheck: Who said they weren’t in on it together or that the manager didn’t lie?
Dakotahgeo
This restaurant, its manager, Staff, need to be protested and boycotted in any manner possible! I hope this trans lady sues the shit out of them and closes the restaurant down. Dallas BBQ? Dallas = says it all!
Bob LaBlah
The manager is suppose to ask these people to leave after they have tallied up a bill that could have easily exceeded $100 if there were at least four of them in the party (dining in Times Square is not cheap)? Sorry, I side with the manager in this one. Refer it to corporate hq if not satisfied with his response or better yet, just leave if you haven’t already ordered.
bbg372
Ms. St. Clair complains that the “manager at Dallas BBQ—Times Square refused to take harassment and physical threats against a transwoman seriously.” Yet, she did not feel so threatened that she could not confront a half-dozen people, so it would seem that the manager treated the situation with the same level of seriousness as she in the moment. With no knowledge of what transpired beforehand, it appears to be an altercation between to guests. The management is not denying that the incident happened, only that it was a non-event. The anonymous Queerty writer is indeed fishing for story on behalf of a self-described “advocate” who also behaved badly. Talk about manufactured outrage.
joeyty
@Dakotahgeo: Dallas BBQ has always attracted a rough gangsta crowd. In that way it really IS like some of Dallas, Texas.
joeyty
@bbg372: Yes, the dialogue between Mr. Guidel and Mr. Queerty is a total goof.
rickhfx
@Bob LaBlah:
The offending bigots, should have been removed, money is never an excuse to allow someone to be abused physically or verbally, in your business.
He BGB
Whether the person is transgender is irrelevant what if anybody was grabbed going in a restaurant? Assault. They (the offenders) have the mindset that a MTF is less than so it’s okay to have their way. I would freak or run if someone grabbed my thigh. She handled it wrong by going over and arguing with them.
Will L
I’m always a bit leary when an “advocate” has a complaint like this. It’s like they walk in and just DARE someone. Ms. St. Clair looks very nice. WHY would anyone ask if she were a man or a woman unless she’s strutting around like a man in a dress?
Sexual harassment is not good at all, but pick your fights better than this.
Rob Smith
@bbg372: Not anonymous. I’m pretty sure my name is right at the end of the article. And I’m definitely not “fishing” for outrage. Whether you think the incident is offensive or outrageous or not doesn’t really matter. Things like this probably happen hundreds of times a week, but we only hear about them when someone ends up violently assaulted or dead. I think it’s fair to share a person’s story of harassment to call attention to a widespread issue. As a male I very rarely feel physically threatened, so it’s important to realize that the safety of other LGBTQ people in the community is important.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
People who transgender people also attack gay people. In their eyes, there is no difference.
PattyJM
@Ummmm Yeah: Is that the first thing that went through your mind?
That says more about you than it does about this woman.
Brian
It is totally unacceptable to grab or harass any stranger in a restaurant. If the victim was a green Martian, it would still be unacceptable.
jayj150
The video only shows they did ask St Clair “an offensive question”; it does not provide evidence that anyone touched anyone. This seems to me like yet another transgender making a big fuss out of nothing to look like a victim and gain notoriety because everybody is ‘transphoooobic!
bbg372
@Rob Smith:
I did not see the author, date, or tags when I read the article, and the interviewer cites himself as the publication instead of using his last name as I would expect from a journalist.
It is clear from the excerpt of the interview you posted, that you are being deliberately obtuse at best, or dishonest at worst.
I did not express any thoughts on the incident whatsoever. I merely pointed out that Ms. St. Clair did not behave in a way that is consistent with one who claims to have felt threatened.
I agree, incidents like this—rude behavior between customers—happens hundreds of times a week in restaurants across America. Which is why the manager treated the situation precisely this way.
Raising awareness about anti-LGBT violence is certainly laudable, and I believe Ms. St. Clair was harassed. I do not believe however, that she was physically threatened.
Ms. St. Clair was harassed and she felt embarrassed. She confronted the offending parties, which drew the attention of the staff. With no knowledge of what transpired beforehand, it appeared to be an argument between customers. The manager treated them as mutually-responsible, which insulted Ms. St. Clair. She complains on social media, minimizing her involvement and magnifying the harassment. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Like you, I am male, but unlike you, I never feel physically safe anywhere. Actual safety is important. Feeling safe is not.
Bob LaBlah
@rickhfx: I agree with you in principle but the reality of the matter is this: once you are served food or drink in a restaurant and you cut the meat, break a rib off of the rack you were served or take ONE sip from the drink you have bought it. It would be best to get the warring parties to go to separate sections of the restaurant but if one party insists the other be removed the only thing left to do is ask the meal be paid for and leave.
Were they standing in the middle of the restaurant calling each other names and disturbing others then the police should have been called but even then it would have been up to management to collect the bill. There is a thing called rent, taxes and salaries that have to be paid. That is why I side with management. Just because some one calls me a country hick or frowns because of my accent does not give me the right to have you ejected from a restaurant.
On the other hand, lay ONE hand on me and in the floor, street, ally we are going to go. Were she that offend she should have hit him in the head with her purse since he did pass the firs lick or simply called the police herself. Its just that simple. This has all the sounds of a frivolous lawsuit if ever I heard it.
joeyty
I doubt Andre St. Clair was scared if she went over to that table of guys to continue the argument.
Chris
I hope she uploaded this event in a Yelp review of the place. People should know what places to avoid.
Evji108
What do you expect in Times Square, with a bunch of tourists and louts? A trans woman, who gets in a big argument with a full table of men is not big exclusive news, even on Queerty. Most of this could have been avoided. Unless management was actually witness to a physical attack on Ms St Clair there is not much they could do other than move the offending party to another table, which they did. The last thing she should have done is to engage a table of rough men in a big argument in front of everyone. She should have immediately taken this to management, not engaged the harassers verbally and requested to be re-seated in a more private location where she could be observed and protected by management and wait staff. There’s a thing called de-escalating an arguement, she needs to learn how to do it for her own peace of mind. One suspects that she lives for this kind of attention, however I could be wrong, that is my experience.
isxios
@Evji108: How would she get the publicity if she de-escalated the situation?
The Tower of Power
@Bob LaBlah: No, I would not side with the manager here. Under no circumstances does a patron touch another person without permission. St Clair should have called the cops immediately. Ghetto bitches in my area would have thrown a drink at the guy who groped.
Realitycheck
@Ummmm Yeah: Logic, the incident went nowhere, if it was as you said she would have taken Dallas BBQ to court, beside if you do a small search on face book, you might this person to be the opposite of what you think.
Not every one is out to get you.
Realitycheck
@Bob LaBlah: Better yet call the police,
it is all about how things are worded, if the guy did grab her, that is assault and depending on where and how it might become sexual assault.
Realitycheck
@Evji108: But you are looking at this in retrospective, I want to see how many people assaulted that way would simply
walk away and call the manager, she should have the call the police, and this is the last time I am going to say that, LOL
Thing is we have all been in a bad situation and it is easy to look at it in retrospective “I should have and son and so” It doesn’t work like that we all have emotions.
balehead
What a (not)surprise this happened….Sounds like something is looking for a lawsuit lottery or a realty show…
rocky-rhodes
@Ummmm Yeah: it happens all the time golddigger she is
rocky-rhodes
@Dakotahgeo: get over it drama queen he should have complained after the first incident he is a gold digger