Guys in long-term relationships explain what keeps them from straying

There’s no shame in being a slut, of course, but some gays just want one true love—including some who sowed their wild oats and some who never did. Others are ready for long-term non-monogamy with a special someone or special someones.

In a 2016 study, researchers Lanz Lowen and Blake Spears found that 90 percent of single respondents were seeking monogamous relationships and that both monogamous and non-monogamous couples “can have enduring, healthy, and happy relationships.”

And on Reddit recently, community members of the r/askgaybros subreddit explained their motivations for LTRs after one user asked them why they keep committing to a serious relationship.

Check out what commenters said below.

“I had my slut phase when I was younger. It was all right while it lasted, I guess. But now I am no longer interested in meaningless sex. I want a connection, and I want my life partner. I’ve been with my boyfriend for [around] 1.5 years and have never been happier. So much more fulfilling than just hooking up or sleeping around.”

“As much as hookups are genuinely great, I would rather be in a relationship, which I currently am. I won’t replace my boyfriend to have sex with a hot daddy or hot twink. Cuddles, holding hands, and having someone you can trust [are] worth a lot to me.”

“I’ve been with my now-husband for nine years, married three years ago. I’ve never really enjoyed hookups and never really had a slut phase. I always enjoyed the sense of trust, friendship, and partnership that comes with being in a relationship. Even sexual intimacy (for me) feels that much more meaningful when I feel like I know and care for the person in and outside the bedroom.”

“Love. Daily joy. Laughter. His love for me. My love for him. His care for me. His cooking. He lets me explore his body. I love making him moan and writhe. Waking up in the morning in a tangle of arms and legs. We take time for a quick hug and cuddle several times during the day. (We work from home.) We make a great team. We’re an interesting couple to be friends with. I cannot imagine life without him.”

Related:

Gay guys explain why they choose open relationships

Some of us are monogamous, some of us are monogam-ish, but honesty is always the best policy in a relationship.

“Because my only real goal is to have someone special to grow old with. I have no interest in hookups or promiscuity, and I think there’s no lower form of scum than cheaters. And I definitely could not handle an open relationship. Long term monogamy sounds great to me, thank you very much.”

“My husband is a great guy; he’s an absolute joy to be with. Plus, he’s super hot. Makes it easy to stay committed.”

“I never felt a connection to meaningless sex, even as a horndog teenager. I’ve always craved love, intimacy, and friendship in a relationship more than the sex.”

“Consistency. When I’m happy, sad, mad, and in the complete wrong, Jordy treats me the same. With unconditional love. He handles himself so well, lol. He’s a little older, and I appreciate that he gives me the grace to learn from my ridiculous behavior. We’ve been together for six years, and if the script were to flip, I’d definitely step up to the plate for him.”

“I’ve never been into hookups. But I’ve been with my partner for almost 20 years now, and I can’t imagine my life without him. We don’t need to talk to understand each other. We are comfortable [talking] about any subjects and [trying] new stuff. Lots of cuddles and [attention]. We share lots of hobbies together. He’s always supportive and never judges me. And the list could go on and on.”

“I was raised by my grandparents, who were married for over 50 years. They had the most beautiful, healthy, supportive relationship you can imagine. That is what I want for myself.”

Related:

Gays who met their partners offline & not on an app describe those meet-cutes

Remember what it was like to meet a guy in real life and not on an app?!