As we reported earlier this month, St. Patrick’s College in Maynooth, Ireland — which has been around since roughly the advent of fire — has become such a sexually-charged environment that even the archbishop of Dublin is loath to send students there, so wary is he of all the frantic Grindr usage that’s been taking place on the premises left and right, and right under all of our noses.
Related: Ireland’s Oldest Seminary Rocked By Widespread Grindr Use Among Priests
Now, higher-ups at the scandal-besotted school are taking matters into their own hands, implementing a far stricter regime that includes, but is not limited to, not using Grindr at the dinner table, which is against the teachings of Jesus and also just plain rude.
Effective immediately, priests-in-training can no longer scurrilously eat their supper in a sorrowful cubby of their choosing, but must instead enjoy their evening-porridge right there in the college, supervised by hawk-eyed senior staff, who, from now on, will make sure nothing more subversive than seconds takes place at their table.
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Related: Orgy-Loving Priest Outed For Keeping Secret Grindr Account
Also effective immediately, evening rosary attendance is now mandatory for all of these wayward priests — no ands, ifs, or buts. This is a last-ditch attempt at effectively boring homosexuality out of these naughty trainees.
Also announced this week: there will be an in-depth review of “appropriate use of the internet and social media,” since college trustees are deeply concerned about an “unhealthy atmosphere created by anonymous accusations.”
As Pink News reports, higher-ups are deeply concerned about “some social media comments which can be speculative or even malicious” in regards to their trainee priests.
Related: Pool Boy To Priest: Kindly Stop Sending Me Your Naughty Photos
A few weeks back, Dr. Diarmuid Martin, the superiorly named Archbishop of Dublin, stated he has every intention of boycotting St. Patrick’s College in light of rumors that homosexual acts were running rampant through students and staff, including compulsive use of Grindr and other hookup apps.
Dr. Martin insists the “poisonous” atmosphere at St. Patrick’s has forced him to transfer several students to the Irish College in Rome, despite the fact that the architecture and men are distractingly beautiful there.
Anonymous allegations accused priests of all kinds of wanton frivolity: getting sexy with one another, raking in Grindr messages, and other interesting activities not befitting of a priest.
Related: Catholic Priest Allegedly Stole Millions Of Dollars To Pay Rent Boy Lover
Dr. Martin, not done speaking, said that Grindr use “would be inappropriate for seminarians, not just because they are trained to be celibate priests, but because an app like that is something which would be fostering promiscuous sexuality.”
In Dr. Martin’s eyes, Grindr goes against “the mature vision of sexuality one would expect a priest to understand.”
Josh447
Nothing new, just the computer age.
Kangol
Does the head of St. Patrick’s College not realize that these priests can sneak out after evening rosary attendance (and Vespers)? Or hop between rooms and beds once the lights are out? That Irish College in Rome is probably a hotbed of gay sex too. Visit the saunas in Rome, and you’ll see, those Catholic priests and seminarians are following St. Augustine’s famous dictum, give me chastity, but not yet.
zipperzone
The R.C. church will never get the message. Humans – especially men – are not wired that way. They will find a way to get their rocks off regardless of what the Church says. The bishops are just just fighting windmills.
MediaGuy
So for real, gay sex in seminaries is as old as fire. And, for centuries everyone left it alone because everyone tacitly knew what was going on, and because it was really none of anyone’s business. Until the better-than-everyone-else, sanctimonious, self righteous, gay incarnation of the westboro baptist church (gay, atheist, liberals) decided to sit in judgment and hold-up the equivalent of “burn in hell catholics” signs every chance they get. That’s what the militant anti-catholic gay media is doing, exactly what the WBC has done, condemn everybody else (exempting themselves) for trying to get some dick. So, shut up Queerty because your liberal anti-catholic bullshit is wearing very thin. The world now sees you for the haters you really are. Move on bitches.
Dave Downunder
This is what you get when you force people to deny their natural instincts. Forcing men to forego sex or to deny their sexuality in the name of religion was always a bad idea and has led to nothing but trouble for these poor men for centuries.
Blackceo
This is what happens in all male environments though. Grindr and these apps just make it easier. Prisons, the military, seminaries. I went to an all male boarding school and we had no Grindr and there was plenty o smashing going on so taking the app away will make them have to work a little more to sniff out some ass but won’t stop it.