We’re watching RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars with glee, but we’re chomping at the bit for Season 5 to start in January. Logo announced the queens who will enter the arena in Season 5—we say “arena” because the whole thing has an ancient Rome feel to it. Is that because Ru was there when Nero threw Christians to the lions? (We kid, we kid!)
Here are next season’s contenders:
Alaska Thunderfuck, Pittsburgh
Sharon Needles’ kaikai, Alaska will be the first queen whose full name can’t be said on television.
Coco Montrese, Las Vegas
So Coco was the runner-up at the Miss Gay America contest, and snatched the crown when Aylssa was axed. Expect some sparks between these two Southern belles.
Detox Icunt, Los Angeles
Another queen whose name will have to be bleeped out! You might remember Detox from “Chow Down,” the parody video Willam Belli made about Chick-fil-A, but she’s also appeared in a Rihanna video and recorded music with Ke$ha. So she’ll be a shoo-in at Lipsynch for Your Life. (May she never have to prove it.)
Honey Mahogany, San Francisco
According to her profile, San Francisco’s first Drag Queen contestant hails from Ethiopia and took her stage name from two different shades of foundation. All we know is, with a name like Honey Mahogeny, if she doesn’t do Pam Grier for The Snatch Game, it is ovah
Ivy Winters, New York City
She’s made outfits for Manila Luzon and Lady Bunny, so you know this is one bitch who knows how to sew. She’s also a professional fire-eater, which will could her shade-throwing an interesting twist.
Jade Jolie, Gainesville, FL
Generally we say nothing good comes out of Florida, but Jade is one of the prettier queens we’ve seen on the show. We’re getting a Dida Ritz vibe—but, y’know, white.
Jinkx Monsoon, Seattle
We’re getting a TammieBrown vibe from this self-described Jewish narcoleptic queen from Seattle. Which means we’ll totally worship her and she’ll get sent home too quickly.
Lineysha Sparx San Juan, PR
Like us, this Puerto Rican never wears the same outfit twice. Do we dare hope for some Team Yarlexis magic?
Monica Beverly Hillz, Owensboro, KY
Her classy name aside, Monica actually hails from smalltown Kentucky. Is she going to be able to hold her own against them big-city queens?
Penny Tration, Cincinnati
A funny drag handle can sometimes wear thin, but it didn’t hurt Sharon Needles. We also like that Penny’s not a twig—real girls have curves!
Roxxxy Andrews, Orlando
Logo’s profile calls Roxxxy “a pageant girl through and through.” Will that help or hinder her in the challenges, which are usually more out-there than donning a swimsuit and high heels
Serena ChaCha, Tallahassee, FL
Serena is this season’s baby, right out of art school. We hope that doesn’t mean she’ll be wearing a diaper and throwing tantrums. Actually…
Vivienne Pinay, New York City
Girlfriend hails from New York but we first saw her in a Vogue Italia piece showing queens in half-drag. Does she have what it takes? Mama always said Filipinas make the fiercest queens.
Who will win—and who will sashay away? Make your judgments in the comments section.