It’s so hard to get your favorite jeans to give off that coveted “lived-in” look, particularly if you haven’t bothered to actually live in them.
Perhaps that’s why Nordstrom has made the executively inane decision to sell a pair of jeans that have been pre-sullied for you for $425.
Called The Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans, the casual bottoms include splashes of “caked-on muddy coating.”
Related: Bound to happen: Trump exposes major conflict of interest in attack on Nordstrom
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According to the webpage shilling these fradulent messypants, they “embody rugged, Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action.”
Oh, and when they’re worn, they’ll give off the false impression that “you’re not afraid to get down and dirty.”
Twitter’s all abuzz with bitchiness regarding this fashion calamity:
@mikeroweworks @Nordstrom 1. Buy thrift store jeans
2.Go work on a cattle farm for a day
3.Get paid while smearing poo on jeans
4.Sell to Nordstrom for a huge profit— Paul (@oma_albers) April 24, 2017
For Sale @Nordstrom distressed jeans for people who doesn't have a dirty job
and wana look like they have a dirty job pic.twitter.com/jHAaTcr3sX— Mareeah Dubois (@mareeah00) April 25, 2017
The Nordstrom "Mud Jeans" are for the #TrumpBros so they LOOK like they visit construction sites! #FoxAndFriends
— alison wonderland (@Alisonnj) April 25, 2017
#Nordstrom If u buy a pair of fake ass dirty jeans @ $425 Wow! Then I'll sell a real pair of shit stained underwear for 1/2 that price! #WTF
— Clayton Bigsby Jr. (@Wentzladelphia) April 25, 2017
@SylviaGam @RickCanton @Nordstrom pathetic. If you want muddy jeans, try hard work. That builds character, too.
— StangerTweets (@stangertweets) April 25, 2017
If you want to look like you work for a living, Nordstrom's can hook you up with these muddy jeans for only $425: pic.twitter.com/sZ0oxBjCUS
— Mededitor (@Mededitor) April 25, 2017
Mo Bro
Que chingados?!
Roan
Queerty should set up an online contest. The person who finds the most Queerty errors (editorial, typographical, grammar, vetting) will win a free pair.
KaiserVonScheiss
LOL. If people are willing to buy them…
I wouldn’t. Then again, I don’t wear blue jeans. Never liked them, but my mother forced me to wear the damn things as a child. Very uncomfortable.