Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last decade, you would have noticed the rise in demand for daddies among younger sub-groups of twentysomething gays. We know it, you know it, and HBO knows it, but none of it was official until today, when New York Magazine published an unofficial poll claiming “Daddies” are “on the rise.”
Everybody knows sub-groups aren’t official until a major publication “discovers” them.
New York Magazine reporter Mike Albo offers a breakdown of every type of daddy, from leather daddies to sugar daddies, and “femme” daddies to “young” daddies, in a piece published this morning titled “Rise of the ‘Daddies’: A New (and Sexy) Gay Niche.” It’s new! It’s on the rise! Are you shocked?
via NY Mag:
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
But like everything else in our culture, where even grumpy cats become memes and multiply, it seems the gay daddies are moving beyond leather land, especially for a new generation of twentysomething gays. An informal poll of men reveals that there seems to be an uptick of younger men who are interested in guys of my “seasoned” age bracket.
Though he makes sure to note the term “daddy” has been around for ages, Albo spends some time exploring how the term “daddy” has evolved over time. Pointing to famous gays like Andy Cohen, Anderson Cooper, and Tom Ford, he says the term has “gone from being a porn thing to defining a broader range of men.”
He continues:
Perhaps the mainstreaming of the daddy trend could be because of statistics: Guys my age — men in our forties — are the largest demographic of gay-identified males to grow old. (The few out and older men I know, now in their late fifties and sixties, are definitely daddy types, because they’re tough, wise, brave guys who survived the harrowing early days of the AIDS crisis.)
The fact that men in their forties “are the largest demographic of gay-identified males to grow old” is a great point to make—one that has value far beyond a silly piece about the “daddy” explosion. For the most part, it’s true, and should be considered a major accomplishment for the community as a whole.
It’s not about getting older or fitting into a sexual stereotype—it’s about visibility. In 2013, a subgroup of gay men have positive role models in the media, a voice, and a glowing review in a major publication to boot. Now that’s progress.
Jackhoffsky
@jeff4justice: Yeah, I agree. And not so much that but thier videos give a sense of degradation to their participants while promoting smug inflation of douche.
So to me, the pic doesn’t say “daddy”. The pic says “Old man with a fragile ego”.
Emanuel
@jeff4justice: @Jackhoffsky:
Nag nag nag, you guys look like the gay version of million mom’s. They do bareback not put put guns over people’s heads so the do it too, so get over it. It is a a famous gay couple one is “way” older than the other so it works. i’ve had it officially
Mark
I feel this is outrageous! The only driver to young guys going for older guys is MONEY… The only driver for older guys going for younger guys is a trophy husband to show off… No difference in these guys than Donald Trump, etc. All are pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!!
jeff4justice
@Emanuel: Go nominate then for a GLAAAD award then.
davegun2
Well I’m not going to complain. Anybody want to go to Spain with me for two months while I write a novel?
Old Gay Guy
Dave (Fortuna Monsoon)
65 or 67, depending on who you ask.
Chris
@Mark: Wow Mark, fuck you buddy. I’m 28 years old and I’ve only been attracted to older men my entire life. It has absolutely nothing to do with money, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that I’ve never been attracted to a guy my own age. For a long time it made me wonder if I was a “true” gay. Put yourself in my shoes and not only tell your family that you’re gay, but that you are only sexually attracted to men over 45. It is rather obvious that you had a thing for a younger guy who wanted a sugardaddy instead, and you’ve been a bitter queen about it ever since.
It absolutely amazes me how gay people can still be such closed-minded, callous fuckwits.
davegun2
:>)
davegun2
@Chris: You tell em
Charles175
@Mark: And if the younger person’s only goal is money from said sugar daddy, and said sugar daddy merely desires to have a trophy “boy toy”, then that youth winds up growing up to be like Liberace’s sugar baby, a horribly ill prepared for real life loser. In the event of the severing of the support (via Death or separation) of the sugar daddy, the sugar baby is left without proper knowledge and wisdom along with the necessary skills to successfully carry on in his remaining life. This is but one of many forms of the hedonistic “lifestyle” that has no future. This totally separate from the issue of orientation.
Jackhoffsky
@Emanuel: let me try this a different way. I’m glad there’s a rise of the daddy, great. I’m not into that, but good for everyone who is.
However… the picture used for the article involves a couple whose porn is purely ego-driven and somewhat condescending to many of their participants (not all). It involved a smug sense of “tagging” and hubristic conquests. (hey, if it wasn’t ego-driven, the young one would get to fuck first…lol)
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m all for degradation in kink play, but I cannot get into degradation for the sake of ego… and thus, the use of the picture is a contradictory accompaniment to the article and what it’s trying to present.
Errol Semple
Intergeneration relationships are a benefit to both parties.
Kieran
@Jackhoffsky: Why don’t you just be honest and admit you don’t like these two Gay Studs because you know they’d never be interested in having sex with you?
Jackhoffsky
@Kieran: I seriously… honestly, with all my heart… find people who come at me with a conquest-driven ego-based agenda very unattractive. sociologically speaking it is obvious, so you and I must have completely different views on it, but that is what I see with them… not a healthy example of intergenerational companionship.
aldo I already have HIV from bareback sex. So I require a condom for every sexual encounter, something they do not promote. so there’s THAT.
Aries3dc
@Chris: Yes ma’am! I’m a younger guy (33) into much older men myself, and I second everything you said. Well put!
Niall
If they’re fit enough and interesting enough. Age doesn’t really bother me *shrugs* the thing is though, it’s hard to find older guys who meet my standards of looks in a guy(hope that doesn’t sound shallow) and who we can share common interests. The latter is especially challenging.
Kieran
Just being a certain age doesn’t make you hot. They’re are plenty of young males who don’t have much sex appeal and will only go down hill as time passes. Youth is a definite plus, but if you’re homely, fat, flabby, boney or generally fugly looking what difference does it make how young you are? The important thing is are two people hot for one another. If they are, than age shouldn’t matter.
Mark
@Chris: Chris-you are wrong on so many levels. Have a fucking fabulous day!
marc sfe
@jeff4justice: I’m looking at the picture at the top of this article and I have no clue what the hell you’re talking about as it relates to bareback sex. For the love of pete, one of the gentlemen has on a t shirt and the other is feeding him a grape. Where’s the barebacking endorsement??? I may be old but I’m not blind.
Lazycrockett
I didn’t want a daddy when I was 20 and I sure as hell wouldn’t want a son at 40.
gppm1103
@marc sfe: He is talking about them being the Maverick Men. Look it up.
CleJoke
Wow. You all are making my issues button ring. I am 41 and currently seeing a 23 year old for the last 6 months. It’s the longest relationship I’ve ever been in.
But I always wonder about the generational differences. We play tons of video games together, watch tons of SciFi on Netflix. Recently I introduced him to Buck Rogers who he never heard of. For laughs I was showing him old Wanda sketches from In Living Color realizing he was born when that show first aired.
He has two years of college under his belt and is currently just working a dead end job to make ends meat and lives at home. I am currently between consulting gigs but have my finances budgeted and am ok. But I have a 20 year head start on death over him. How will he take care of himself when I’m gone? Then again he is a smoker and he could be catching up to me with that bad habit. Plus if he moves in do I have to make a dedicated smokers room for him? because right now he goes outside to smoke and we hang out in my bedroom in the 3rd floor of a townhouse. At least it’ll keep his ass trim like being on the stairmaster 🙂
Is the first ltr I’m in doomed?
Angel
I totally agree with @mark.. wtf!! I’m a 33 year old and I love my daddies.. and not cuz of money I usually make more than them … is amazing that in this time and age some ppl still stuck in this little details..
mpwaite
@ Mark.. You’re just a DEBBIE-DOWNER arent you?!! Who are you to tell people who they can and cannot be attracted to in life; you just sound like a bitter queen who probably was jilted by a younger twink so you’re bitter on relationships.. period. I know several couples that have age differences of 20 or more years, and are extremely happy.. Of course, I know several that are just ridiculous as well.. As long as both guys understand the rules set my themselves going into their respective relationships..Then who the Hell am “I” to tell them what they should do??!!
Mark
@mpwaite: Obviously, you are BLIND to the truth! Let’s put it into prospective; if the older man was a dishwasher and didn’t have a pot to piss in then would you be attracted to him? Probably not! But, you would never admit it. Signed DD
Bopper1
…WTF that anyone would have an issue with two people who are actually able to find happiness with each other…I’m late 50s, had a six month relationship with a guy 26…we had a commonality in all things, great humour, spirituality, goals, interests…he was a musician, knew everything I didn’t know…I have life experience that he considered invaluable…I wasn’t a sugar daddy, he wouldn’t have it…the age difference was virtually transparent…what happens in situations like these is “social acceleration” for the younger partner…they either wear it or run from it…in this case, he ran from it…to hear him tell it, it was the best time he ever had, the most he’s ever loved or been loved, the best sex, the best journey, the happiest time of his life…this was all in LA…his family are evangelicals in Indiana…they started asking questions…relationship over…in the end, the age gap WAS a problem…the younger man didn’t have the life experience or self-knowledge to admit his choice and stick by it…it was the best decision for him and I agreed, however sadly…what I know that he doesn’t is that this kind of intuitive bond is very hard to find between two people and it is the reason one would fight for the relationship…in time, he will realise that and probably wonder why he ever ran…so the generational thing is a reality and a factor…it was a great time, nonetheless, and we’re both better for living it…
NumberOne69
@Mark You are the biggest fuck job I’ve ever heard. Your opinions on younger/older relationships in the gay community are every bit as bigoted as those of Southern rednecks who hate gays. I am 27 and have been in along-term relationship since I was 23 with a man who is 25 years older than me (he’s 52 now). We are married and look forward to living happily ever after. As it relates to money, I am not one bit attracted to, or envious of the money my husband makes, as I make well into the six figures and have been making in the six figures since shortly after I graduated from college (I got a MBA at 22). So the fact that he makes more money than me is not an issue because HE DOESN’T MAKE MORE THAN ME; I make more money that he does. I was, am, and always will be attracted to my husband for one reason, he is the best person I have ever known. Now to your way of thinking I should be wary because he might be taking advantage of not only my youth, but also my money. But I guess you have never been in a meaningful relationship because that is not how true love works. To your way of thinking me getting a pre-nup in place would be more important than any true love we have for one another. You are wrong on so many levels, but worst of all is the fact that you present your bigoted opinion as though it were fact. You bigoted opinion is not fact, nor will it ever be. So, learn a little more tolerance and understanding before you go spouting off out of your ass. It’s ironic that I’m telling another gay man to learn tolerance, but there are some unwitting people in every group. That’s All.
NumberOne69
@Mark: You are the biggest fuck job I’ve ever heard. Your opinions on younger/older relationships in the gay community are every bit as bigoted as those of Southern rednecks who hate gays. I am 27 and have been in along-term relationship since I was 23 with a man who is 25 years older than me (he’s 52 now). We are married and look forward to living happily ever after. As it relates to money, I am not one bit attracted to, or envious of the money my husband makes, as I make well into the six figures and have been making in the six figures since shortly after I graduated from college (I got a MBA at 22). So the fact that he makes more money than me is not an issue because HE DOESN’T MAKE MORE THAN ME; I make more money that he does. I was, am, and always will be attracted to my husband for one reason, he is the best person I have ever known. Now to your way of thinking I should be wary because he might be taking advantage of not only my youth, but also my money. But I guess you have never been in a meaningful relationship because that is not how true love works. To your way of thinking me getting a pre-nup in place would be more important than any true love we have for one another. You are wrong on so many levels, but worst of all is the fact that you present your bigoted opinion as though it were fact. You bigoted opinion is not fact, nor will it ever be. So, learn a little more tolerance and understanding before you go spouting off out of your ass. It’s ironic that I’m telling another gay man to learn tolerance, but there are some unwitting people in every group. That’s All.
NumberOne69
@Mark: BTW – before you start telling people that they are “blind to the truth”, you had better get some extra strong glasses for yourself because, honey, Stevie Wonder can see more clearly than you. That’s All.
yynotnnh
I like older guys but sorry I don’t want to be dating my Dad thanks..
Will
@Mark: I disagree. I am 20 years old and I have been with my 31 year-old boyfriend for almost three years. I never ask him to pay for anything and I am completely financially independent from him. I think if he were using me for sex our relationship would have ended a long time ago. I do think that sometimes young gay men get into relationships with older men for the reasons you described, but not all of us are opportunists.