OUTRAGE: Selfish Brangelina Breaks Promise To LGBT Community And Get Straight-Engaged


Sorry we haven’s commented on this urgent news earlier, but we were busy rending our Jil Sander one-offs into sackcloth: Hollywood ür-couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have reneged on their pledge to stay happily unwed until marriage equality is the law of the land in the U.S.  After Jolie was photographed wearing a Flintstones-sized rock on her wedding finger, a spokeswoman for Pitt confirmed Friday that the two stars indeed engaged.

“Yes, it’s confirmed. It is a promise for the future and their kids are very happy. There’s no date set at this time,” said publicist Cynthia Pett-Dante. The ring was crafted by Pitt, who dabbles in design and architecture.

We sort of saw this coming: In January, Queerty reported that Pitt acknowledged he didn’t know how much longer he and Jolie could avoid the altar, as their children were really pushing for mummy and daddy to stop living in sin. “It means so much to my kids, and they ask a lot. And it means something to me, too, to make that kind of commitment.”

Jeez, when we were kids and whined for our parents to do something, they usually just told us to shut the hell up or we wouldn’t be going to Chuck E. Cheese. Those Jolie-Pitt brats have it easy!

At any rate, we think there’s only one way Brangelina can make this up to the LGBT community (well, short of Brad starring in the gay-porn sequel to A River Runs Through It) : The next kid Angelina adopts should be a 33-year-old boricua drag queen from the Bronx.

Photo: Georges Biard

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  • Chuck

    I don’t hold it against them. Both are strong LGBT advocates. But just as an aside, straights seem unable to cope with the extreme discrimination gay people face in this country even when they try it. Brad is a strong guy and the intention of his pledge not to marry until everyone can marry was good, but when faced with the loooong struggle towards equality that we as gay people have to face in this nation, few straights have the patience to voluntarily experience what we experience by virtue of how we were born.

  • bwteske

    But OMG look at Mr Pitt and tell me you could resist.
    Luckily she looks good in sleeves too and i bet she has something up them…

  • Larry

    they are the only couple who have even talked about gay marriage and I thank them for it. good for them and for their kids…I wish them every happiness and I bet gay marriage gets more positive attention as a result of this marriage than it would if they stayed unmarried

  • Hyhybt

    It sure would be spiteful to expect people who *can* get married never to do so just because we can’t quite yet. They put it off for a few years to make a point. The point is made.

  • Kurt

    I was kinda a stupid pledge to beging with. Sort of like saying he not going to hold down a job until ENDA is passed.

  • JS

    Maybe they’re being cautiously optimistic and expecting marriage equality will pass some time in the near future. That or they’re adopting a gay baby, seeing as they’ve already got every other color of the rainbow. Got to catch them all

  • Bryan

    No outrage from me. While their intentions were good, I’ve always thought that promise was kinda unrealistic except if they were getting married in their late 50s or 60s

  • Brittany

    If the babies ask the babies get wht they want. The end. That should be the only focus. My girlfriend and I were just talking about this and I’m very disappointed in anyone who pitches a fit over. Plus who’s business is it anyway? Support love and commitment not shoot it down.

  • nineinchnail

    They do enough for the LGBT community. They make an amazing couple. The both of them are gorgeous.

  • Curtis

    Its not their job to (appear to) suffer along side the rest of us.. Kind of a promise that was meant to be broken.
    But if prop 8 is repealed later this year, they’re gonna feel silly.

  • Mark

    Wish them only the best. They’re very supportive of the community – – it is their choice after all and if it makes them and their family happy, I say go for it.

  • Kim

    For the Gays that are outraged . Do you feel betrayed by your gay coulple couple who have gotten married in MA or NY rather than wait to all Gays are able to get married. Just asking? Congrats to Brad and Angie. I think every couple GAY or Straight should get married if they want to.

  • Tomas

    Who cares? These people are not LGBT advocates or LGBT equality advocates at all. They’re celebrities and they’re getting married for PR and media attention.

  • Kim

    @Tomas: So celebs only get married for PR and Media attn? The last thing this couple needs is media attn IMO

  • [email protected]

    I know that you are supposed to get married within three days after proposing! Or at least that’s what a lot of comments seem to be saying. Brangelina stated that they wouldn’t get married until gays could get married anywhere in the US. Getting engaged is NOT the same as getting married!

  • Paul

    @Chuck: Couldn’t have said it better, Chuck. Maybe Brad hit Angie’s G-spot and that put her over the edge. :)

  • Hyhybt

    @[email protected]: True… but the *fastest* that condition could be met would be through a ruling broader than the Supreme Court is likely to make, in a case they won’t even hear for at least a year if ever. It’s hardly likely they intend to combine getting engaged now with not getting married until DOMA and all the state bans are removed.

  • jason

    Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are both fake gay advocates in my view. They’re typical liberals who say one thing and do another. As Hollywood liberals, almost everything they do is about their image. Image, image, image. Principles don’t matter as much as image.

    As far as I’m concerned, they can both go jump.

  • Hyhybt

    @jason: How are they “fake”? Are you claiming they’re really against us, or only that they don’t care one way or the other? And, for either answer, why do you think that?

  • I get it too

    @Larry, it’s not just them. Charlize Theron and her (now ex) boyfriend also made a similar pledge a number of years ago. Now unfortunately they are never going to get married, which I fear is the only way anybody is going to ever fulfill this particular pledge, given the reality in the U.S. Hell, even the European Court of Human Rights just the other day stabbed us in the back and ruled that gay marriage is not a human right, so what can we expect from the very conservative U.S. court?

  • Joh

    The best to them, I never thought they would never get
    married till we all could.
    I thought they didn’t feel the need to get married and
    decided to say it was because gays couldn’t. If it was a joke to pull
    The medias leg or pr or whatever did not matter to me.
    Maybe just a couple of gay kids heard them say gay with compassion and a straight face
    And those kids felt a bit better that two of the biggest stars were saying gays have worth
    And maybe it made those kids feel okay.
    Maybe it made all of us feel a little okay.
    And I’m okay with that.

  • Flick

    Who cares? If they want to get married it is up to them. Gays may not be able to get married nationwide for a few decades to come, it is unfair for us to expect them to wait that long if they are ready now. They are good LGBT advocates and that is good enough for me. Can we save our outrage for the next stupid thing Kirk Cameron or Chuck Norris does? It shouldn’t be long for that to happen.

  • BigBlowJob

    S-O-O-O,..They are engaged. There are no expiration dates on engagements. Sometimes these situations can last a long time. I think that the point has been made and they are free to live the remaining years of their lives they way they want. I do not have any reservations against either of them. Live and let live. Isn’t that what WE want others to do? BBJ

  • Hyhybt

    Famous as can be, with the sort of money and beauty that tends to accompany that sort of fame… and they still give every impression of being basically good people.

    As for the promise not to wed… well… look at it this way: it lasted longer than many a Hollywood marriage!

  • AEH

    I doubt Washington D.C. cares about whether they marry or not. They’re not waiting with bated breath to see Brangelina marry so they can legalize marriage equality.

  • mike128

    I’m really surprised how little so many of us expect… I would like people to take their commitments to our rights and to our community seriously. I don’t see how that’s denying Brad and Angelina a happy life or a happy relationship – it’s just asking them to put action behind words. Sadly, people who don’t have to experience what we do rarely put actions behind their words for us, and we’re so used to it that we wish them well, and say things like “well, can’t blame them”, etc. etc.

  • Hephaestion

    Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie had promised years ago that they would not marry until all gay citizens could marry in the US. I guess they decided to scrap that promise & marry now that they’ve come to realize that gay Americans will NEVER have equal rights.

  • amo

    Jolie is bi not “straight”.

  • bwteske

    Oh for jeepers crikes, when did us gay people are starting getting all negative like Republicans and Conservatives?
    Wish them well and be done with it.
    Life could be a whole lot shorter…

  • bwteske

    Love the site, like the stories, but would somebody please remove all the troll bridges?

  • Auntie Mame

    If they’re getting married it means the end is near.

  • Drew

    I agree with Jason and others. When two people who are famous or celebrities get married it’s not about love or any sort of relationship like it is for your average citizen. It’s all about as others have said: PR, media attention, combining wealth, and protecting their “brand”.

    Brad and Angelina could care less about the equality or LGBT people or how we as LGBT people deserve same gender marriage.

    Then again it’s Hollywood and there are TONS of marriages of convenience.

  • Kev C

    I was unaware that Brad Jolie and Angelina Pitt were LGBT advocates. Ask me if I care.

  • kawneekwa

    She a selfish ho! Now you even Dan.

  • sandy k

    I don’t think there will be gay marriage in Alabama or Mississippi, even 100 years from now in 2112! But several states have sanctioned marriage equality, since Brad and Angelina made their pledge, so let’s not punish them and their children just because they couldn’t wait for all 50 states to come around. They got their point across!!!

  • Brand

    They said they wouldn’t get married until gay Americans can do so as well. Now that we have, what, nine states where gay marriage is legal, I’d say that equates to letting them get engaged, don’t you? In both cases, it’s a huge step; in both cases, it’s not the full deal. But even if they do go on and get hitched, I won’t hold it against them!

    @sandy k: Gays can serve openly in the military on bases in Alabama and Mississippi. Blacks and whites can marry in Alabama and Mississippi (and often do in the military as well). Blacks go to white churches and whites go to black churches in Alabama and Mississippi. And there’s no slavery in Alabama and Mississippi. It has nothing to do with what Alabama or Mississippi did for anybody’s rights, it’s what good people elsewhere in our country did, usually first at the state level and then at the national level. A Republican president sent the National Guard in to Arkansas to enforce school desegregation (that was back when Republican politicians were decent people). I know what you mean, but this is how progress comes, this is how change happens.

  • PR

    I have mixed feelings about it. I’m probably in the minority. I always appreciated their standing strong on this topic. I appreciated that they were willing to withhold something that they were legally entitled to until everyone was legally entitled to the same rights. As we know, DOMA is still a huge stumbling block that causes massive discrimination amongst gay and lesbian couples across the nation. But, even so, there are individual states that DO permit same-sex marriage. So, what exactly did they commit to? Did they commit to the end of DOMA or to marriage in all 50 states? At times I sort of get DISGUSTED when I see my straight friends getting married in my home state when I can’t. It’s like having white friends join a white country club that excludes blacks. I really wish that my friends would stand firm and stand up for MY rights. So, do my friends protest until EVERY club permits blacks OR do they just not go to the clubs that are racially bigoted? My guess is that this couple is could make a bigger statement TO THEIR KIDS by standing up for equality. I think that it would be admirable for parents to do this. “Hey, we won’t get married until there is full equality in the USA. If you want to know why… that’s why. Equality is vital.” I think that I’d respect that A LOT. But, at the same time they’ve got to live their own lives and THEY know where they stand on LGBT rights and with raising their kids. I don’t know all of those details. So, I’ll “wish” that they continued their stance… but realize that equality IS coming and waiting until it is FULLY recognized in all 50 states may not be what they were committing to.

  • Geri

    I hate to be so cynical, but I can’t help feeling that Brad and Angelina probably stand a better chance of staying together if they don’t get married.

    Anyway, if it’s because of pressure from their kids then they should explain to their kids why mummy and daddy decided not to get officially married yet.

  • Geri

    @amo: We know Angelina’s bi. However Brad’s a man not a woman.

  • axon

    I think they meant their statement to be taken seriously, but I don’t think you should expect it to to stand forever. Everyone knows anyway that they are fore same sex marriage and full human rights for gays. And, like someone said, Angelina is bisexual. She had a female lover.

    I am a bit surprised, though. I didn’t expect them to ever want to marry, they seem such free spirits who stay together for the only and strong reason that they want to, without the aid of papers and ceremonies. I guess that’s the reason some of us wonder if there might be trouble in paradise? Then again, people do change slightly over the years. Maybe they just woke up one morning and felt they wanted to be married. That – and then of course, the kids want a big wedding and a cake! ;)

    (I take exception to the notion that all Hollywood couples are fake PR machines unable to fall genuinely in love.)

  • axon

    @PR: “It’s like having white friends join a white country club that excludes blacks. I really wish that my friends would stand firm and stand up for MY rights. So, do my friends protest until EVERY club permits blacks OR do they just not go to the clubs that are racially bigoted?”

    You have a point, and I never thought about it that way. I understand your feelings and doubts about their friendship, which looks somewhat shallow when they give in like that. As if they say (with an embarrassed smile): “Sorry, buddy, you have to stay outside the door! If we COULD change society singlehandedly, we WOULD. But we’ll invite you to our house, you know that!”

    That said, marriage is, not entirely but a bit, different from clubs, in that it has legal consequences not only for the couple but also for their children, and is more of something you up till now was more or less requested to do. You can more easily choose if you want to enter a club or not. If I were your straight friend and felt strongly I wanted to marry, I may well do that – but at the same time fight officially and publicly for your rights too.

  • Lance

    It’s easy to stand alongside a minority in their plight until it’s not.

    That’s all I have to say about this.

  • 1equalityUSA

    Chuck said,
    #1 comment–“I don’t hold it against them. Both are strong LGBT advocates. But just as an aside, straights seem unable to cope with the extreme discrimination gay people face in this country even when they try it. Brad is a strong guy and the intention of his pledge not to marry until everyone can marry was good, but when faced with the loooong struggle towards equality that we as gay people have to face in this nation, few straights have the patience to voluntarily experience what we experience by virtue of how we were born.”

    This one resonated.

  • Shannon1981

    Which is why I trust straight people less and less when they make so called pledges to us. They are weak, and we are easy fodder to make them look good these days.

    At the end of the day, yes we need allies,sheer force of numbers. But they do not, nor will they ever get it.

  • Shannon1981

    @amo: For all intents and purposes, in this context, she is straight. Bisexual people inherit straight privilege when they get into heterosexual partnerships. One of those uncomfortable truths, and go to any lesbian site, and you will see bisexual women acting as if there is no such thing as bi privilege, that they get it from the gays and the straights so they are more oppressed…when, at the end of the day, they have an option we don’t, and they don’t want to acknowledge that.

    That isn’t to justify bi bashing, but its just telling the truth. Angelina, even as the B in LGBT, has rights we don’t because she settled with a man and not a woman.

  • jason

    Jolie is not bi. She’s a female who played the fake bisexual female role for a while in order to appeal to sleazy straight guys. She’s a complete and utter fake in my opinion.

    The mere fact that she and Brad appear to be going back on their vow to not marry is further proof of her fakeness.

    You gay guys must love being lied to by lib-tards. Just as you enjoy being lied to by Obama, no doubt.

  • jason

    If anyone’s bi, it’s likely to be Brad. Men are more bisexual than women because men have higher libidos. It’s just that women attempt to play the superiority card in all things sexual in a vain attempt to make it seem as if somehow they surpass us.

    Girls, you will never have the powerful sexuality of males. Stop even trying.

  • amo

    @Shannon1981: In addition to justifying bi bashing, your post was bi bashing.

  • amo

    @Geri: Who’s we. Do you work for Queerty?

  • Shannon1981

    @amo: No, it wasn’t. It was truth telling. Angelina is exercising the hetro privilege that all bi people have in straight relationships. Just because you don’t want to see it doesn’t make it untrue.

  • amo

    @Shannon1981: Bi people do not have straight privilege. We have bi privilege and some of us have straight-appearing privilege.

  • Shannon1981

    @amo: In this context,same thing. If Angelina and a woman were together and their kids were pressuring them to get married, they’d explain why they aren’t- it would be because they couldn’t

    Face it- you have a privilege we don’t, and often, in opposite sex relationships it is exercised freely and willfully. That isn’t bashing, that is truth. I don’t know what is up with the denial there. Once you get into a straight relationship, you have rights we don’t, unless we pull a Michele and Marcus.

  • Riley

    Good for them! They have done enough for the LGBT community and deserve happiness too. Can’t we just all get along with each other and be happy for them. Congratulations Mr. Brad Pitt and wife to be Angelina. Good luck :)

  • amo

    We have privilege gay people don’t – it’s called bi privilege.
    Stop your denials.

  • Shannon1981

    @amo: Then you agree, you have privilege we don’t, and that Angelina Jolie is exercising said privilege here? GREAT. Whatever you wish to call it- passing, straight, bi, whatever- same thing. You have privilege,and use it freely, leaving us behind. Finally, someone who doesn’t deny it, thank you.

  • Shannon1981

    @amo: I think the only thing we disagree on is what to call it. To me, doesn’t really matter, what its called, honestly. That’s semantics. Effect is still the same in practice.

  • amo

    @Shannon1981: You’re mistaken. I disagree with most of what you’ve said in this thread.

    Most of what you’ve said in this thread is biphobic and I try very hard to distance myself from biphobic viewpoints because I think queerphobias are wrong.

  • Shannon1981

    @amo: What is biphobic? That you have privilege we don’t? You do. You said so yourself.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: I love the straight-bashing, it really makes you better than the bigots out there. FYI, it might be good to actually familiarize yourself with how sexuality works.

  • Edyie

    As long as they still support the community & the rights, what does it matter if they get married or not? Seriously, why try to deny them their happiness simply because politicians want to control ours? This is so hateful, let them get married & wish them well. I would hope that others would do the same for me when & if I ever got married to someone I love regardless of if its same sex or not. They have been great supporters for the community try giving them the respect they have shown to us over the years.

  • Hyhybt

    Focus! Whatever name you wish to apply, the problem is not the way people in straight relationships are treated, but that others are not treated the same way.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: Your problem is that you see gay people, bi people, and straight people. The fact of the matter is, we’re all people, and this is about marriage equality, not simply promoting gay marriage. They’re engaged, they haven’t broken any promises yet, and even if they do, I’m not prepared to fault them for that, and it seems a majority of the comments on this article lean in the same direction. I can’t speak for anyone else, but currently I care for your company here about as much as I would for Kirk Cameron’s.

  • Shannon1981

    @Nate: What straight bashing? They don’t get it. Nice gesture? Of course. But at the end of the day, they don’t need to promise something they can’t keep. They don’t get it. They can’t. They won’t. Don’t make promises you’ll break on a whim. That’s a basic fact of life.

  • Shannon1981

    @Nate: and you are right. It is about marriage equality. If everyone can’t get married, no one should. I thought Brad and Angelina felt the same way, but they wimped out.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: Wimped out. What have you given up lately in the name of a good cause lately? There are children starving to death, will you stop eating? People all over wrongfully imprisoned, and yet I’m sure you continue to live free. This isn’t about equality for you, this is about wanting everyone to suffer because we still have to. It’s wrong for people to tell us we can’t get married, and it’d be wrong for us to condemn them for getting married, IF they do so before their promise. They can be engaged (not married, which you fail to grasp), they can engaged for a very long time,
    and frankly they could even marry, and still stand up for LGBT rights. It’s been years, and I can’t stress enough that they still haven’t broken their promise, so they certainly haven’t wimped out, and they haven’t broken anything on a whim. Shannon, you are so out of a touch, it’s a little frightening.

  • amo

    @Shannon1981: No.

    This is a short, non-exhaustive list of biphobic things that you’ve said in this thread. It took me a few minutes to make.
    *You’ve said Jolie is straight.
    *You’ve said bi people have straight privilege.
    *You’ve used the phrase “straight relationships” about bi people.
    *You’ve said that bi privilege is the same thing as straight privilege.

  • Ryan

    @jason: So all celebrities that have ever gotten engaged now should go jump off a cliff?
    Huh. That’s an interesting theory you have there. So are we also against Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka, Jason?

  • mike128

    @Ryan: NPH and David Burka do not have a federally recognized marriage. They have a marriage that is available to everyone in this county (one that, sadly, does not entail them to most of the rights federally married couples have).

  • Jon

    I think it was a nice gesture that they were going to wait until all of the US could, but I don’t say it annoys me too much that they “broke” their promise. Not to mention they may be engaged, but that doesn’t mean they’re married yet. And with no currently set time you don’t know when it’s going to happen.

  • axon

    Sorry, but I don’t get the argument here on bi and gay people.

    When a bisexual person marries a person of the opposite sex, that is – by society – treated as a straight marriage. Isn’t that what Shannon means? The marriage in itself is straight, although one or both of the participants may be able to also enter a same sex marriage. Wasn’t that what Shannon meant by “straight privilege”, that if you are bisexual, you can enter a straight marriage? While, if the person you fall in love with is of your own sex, you are not allowed to marry in states that prohibit gay marriage.

    Am I wrong?

  • Shannon1981

    @Nate: I am not out of touch. They said they wouldn’t get married until everyone could. They are. Took too long for their taste, and they suddenly remember they have rights they can exercise at any moment.
    If you cannot keep a promise for the long haul, do not make it in the first place. FYI, I do plenty of volunteer work. I’ve been involved in LGBT youth outreach and HIV/AIDS advocacy for more than a decade. So yes, I give of myself to help others, thanks. Shows what you know.

    @amo: I said in this context she is straight, and she is. I never denied her orientation; in fact, her membership to the queer community makes her getting married even worse to me, for she of all people should know better. She is getting married to the person she loves in an opposite sex (straight, as far as society is concerned) relationship.

    If you look straight and are in an opposite sex relationship and getting married and not getting discriminated against, you are exercising privilege.

  • Shannon1981

    @axon: No,you are not wrong, axon, though amo and nate would argue semantics on this all day.

    I’m just personally sick of the denial of uncomfortable truths. Is it uncomfortable that a letter in our acronym can- and often does- opt out of the oppression and join the majority? Sure. Of course it is. Doesn’t make the fact that they have and use that option any less true, though.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: Okay, you’ve worked in LGBT youth outreach and HIV/AIDS advocacy. That hasn’t addressed any of my concerns. Mostly the fact that you continue to spout hate.

    And it’s not uncomfortable. They’re bi, and they can marry whoever the hell they want to. It doesn’t make them any less important in the struggle for marriage equality just because they decide to get a straight marriage.

    You may do the things you’re supposed to, maybe to make yourself feel better/important, I’m not sure, but you don’t get the big picture, and you direct your energy in such a nasty way.

  • Jaylee

    They have waited a long time. This is something that they have longed for. Its something their children have asked for. I know marriage is something that many gay couples and their family hope for too. I think its petty to be mad at this couple for wanting what the rest of us want. Should we be angry at all the couples in NY that just married? I understand that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie said they were going to wait, but how many of us would be able to hold out for this long if we were able to marry, while other still couldn’t? I don’t think it reflects well on our community when we bad mouth people who support equality, especially over something like this. I say congratulation and thanks for speak up for the LGBT community.

  • Shannon1981

    @Nate: I do not direct my energy in a nasty way. I am realistic. Don’t make promises you cannot keep. I’d not give a fuck if they hadn’t promised and now are taking steps to break said promise. I have straight buds who have been together longer than I’ve been alive, could certainly benefit from the financial benefits of marriage…and won’t until I can. that was their gift to me when they realized my parents didn’t support marriage equality. That is true commitment to the cause.. These celebs need to recognize and stop using us to make themselves look good.

  • amo

    @axon: Yes, you are wrong. You need to read up on bisexuality.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: I feel bad for your straight buds, keeping themselves from their own happiness on your behalf.

  • Hyhybt

    @Shannon1981: Not just about this thread, but what went wrong to make you so *bitter*?

  • Shannon1981

    @Hyhybt: I am not bitter. I am angry at the injustices in the world and the apologizing for them. If you are not angry, if you let your guard down, you give ammo to the oppressor.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: I encourage my straight friends to pursue their love. Not only do my parents not support marriage equality, but my own mother thinks I’m an abomination to god, and is pretty vocal about it. My straight friends know this, and they support me as much as I allow, because I have my own voice, I’m able to fight my own battles, I know I have allies, and I would never dream of denying them their happiness on my behalf.

  • Shannon1981

    @Nate: They are good people who feel they are doing the right thing.

  • Shannon1981

    I didn’t make the decision. They did. Years ago, in the 70’s.

  • Shannon1981

    They were going to get married in the 90’s, then I came out amidst much issue, and they made a permanent decision to not do it until it’s a done deal for all.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: And I feel bad for them.

  • Shannon1981

    @Nate: Why? They did it themselves. Its very refreshing.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: I don’t find anything refreshing about any one person denying themselves a right.

  • Shannon1981

    @Nate: They say they do not feel right getting married when other people can’t. If they don’t feel right, they don’t feel right.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: And from I see, you think every straight (or bi) person should feel the same way.

  • Shannon1981

    @Nate: you are mistaken. I think that if they are going to make such a pledge, they need to make sure they can stick to it. As for bi folks- well, they should be willing to struggle along with us, seeing as we are in the same community.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: Nobody should have to struggle, it’s their prerogative, Shannon, and it IS very bitter to suggest that bisexual individuals should not be able to get straight marriages.

  • Shannon1981

    @Nate: I didn’t say they should have to. I am just saying I expect more loyalty than that.

  • axon

    Ok, OK…. first @amo: How in hell do I “read up on bisexuality”? What more do I need to know, in this context, than that it implies you are able to be attracted to both sexes? And that when a bisexual person marries a person of the opposite sex, it is IN THE EYE OF SOCIETY, a straight marriage? So I’m not wrong.

    Then, @Shannon: “I have straight buds who have been together longer than I’ve been alive, could certainly benefit from the financial benefits of marriage…and won’t until I can. that was their gift to me when they realized my parents didn’t support marriage equality.”

    What kind of gift is that? Why would you even want it? Their voluntary suffering makes you feel better? Then: You are saying Brad and Angelina should not make promises they cannot keep. Do you demand people are perfect, and have to know where they will be seven years into the future? That sound more like rigidity than anything fully healthy.

  • Nate

    @Shannon1981: And I expect nothing more than for them to enjoy their lives, I know that’s what I’m trying to do.

  • Shannon1981

    @axon: I’m just saying I admire the gesture, not that I wanted it. I just don’t believe in breaking promises, big or small.

  • Mark

    Axon: read the below text.


    * Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual.
    * Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified “that way” before you came to your “real” lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.
    * Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the so called different gender/sex.
    * Believing bisexual men spread AIDS/HIV to heterosexuals.
    * Thinking bisexual people haven’t made up their minds.
    * Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.
    * Assuming bisexuals would be willing to “pass” as anything other than bisexual.
    * Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.
    * Automatically assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay, or a man and a woman are heterosexual.
    * Expecting bisexual people to get services, information, and education from heterosexual service agencies for their “heterosexual side” (sic) and then go to gay and/or lesbian service agencies for their “homosexual side” (sic).
    * Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too.
    * Believing that bisexual women spread AIDS/HIV to lesbians.
    * Using the terms “phase” or “stage” or “confused” or “fence-sitter” or “bisexual” or “AC/DC” or “switch-hitter” as slurs or in an accusatory way.
    * Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with so called different sex/gender partners.
    * Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of their sexuality rather than seeing them as a whole, complete person.
    * Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be in an different gender/sex coupling to reap the social benefits of a so-called “heterosexual” pairing [sic].
    * Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.
    * Assuming bisexual means “available.”
    * Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.
    * Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friend about their lover or whom they are dating only when that person is the “same” sex/gender.
    * Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.
    * Feeling that you can’t trust a bisexual because they aren’t really gay or lesbian, or aren’t really heterosexual, and that someone coming out as bisexual means someone’s closeted or can’t be trusted and isn’t telling the truth about their sexuality.
    * Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the “same” sex/gender.
    * Saying that you’d never date or enter into a relationship with a bisexual person because they are bisexual.
    * Claiming that the rights of bisexuals don’t matter and that political and equality for gays and lesbians is more important and pressing.
    * Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (i.e. HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, fighting the Right, military, same-sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of so called “lesbian and/or gay” issues.
    * Avoid mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.

  • amo

    @axon: I recommend the internet.

  • Lyss

    I have no outrage for this at all. I mean, we are all supporting to legalize love am I right? So nothing should stop them from getting married if they want to. They made a brave point, and honestly it gave this issue a lot of attention, so good for them.

  • Oh, ok

    Holy crap they’re just celebrities. Who cares?

    They’re actors, what they do or don’t do really has no meaning in my life. Personally I think actor’s voices have become to large to too many people. These are average people, most of who don’t even have a college education. Stop listening to them on everything, stop putting them up on pedestals, and quit looking to them to support issues.

  • axon

    @Mark: Yes, I know all that. It’s silly and shouldn’t have any significance concerning Pitt&Jolie or anyone else. And I can’t don’t see why a bisexual person’s ability to marry someone of the opposite sex should be called a “straight privilege”. Maybe it’s because English is not my first language.

  • axon

    @Oh, ok: They are highly visible, so it matters at least a little bit what they do and say.

  • brian

    Well, it appears that both Brad and Angelina lied to us. Just like Obama lied to us.

  • John J.

    I’m really sure LGBTs’ can get engaged also. Therefore, you should quit your ridiculous whining Dan Avery. You can bitch about it once they actually GET married.

  • Curtis


    That is totally groundbreaking xD
    (for me)

  • the other Greg

    Ya, I can just see them staying “engaged” until every state including Louisiana (which Brad is so fond of) and his native state Missouri approve gay marriage. How long will that take? We should all live so long.

    Then they finally get married, and divorce within a year because THEY’RE ACTORS, who cares except lawyers.

  • J

    Why do we treat them as heroes? How long has Brad Pitt been championing gay causes? Only after he got together with Angelina.He is just exploiting us.

    And this whole “we won’t get married until everyone else can” is just pretencious tosh from them when there are three marriages between them.

    If gays want rights,WE have to fight for them.Of course,anyone else can help us too,but please! Stop expecting celebrities because their motives are questionable.I disagree with exploitation.

  • Geri

    @jason: According to Jenny Shimizu Angelina Jolie is very much bisexual. And I think Jenny would know a lot more about it than you.

    As for Brad being bi. Seriously dream on Jason. Dream on.

  • Geri

    @amo: Nope, I don’t work for Queerty.

    But I think everybody here apart from Jason and maybe one or two other thread contributors know that Angelina Jolie is bisexual.

  • Geri

    @Shannon1981: The “straight”/”heterosexual” “privilege” that some bisexuals have isn’t necessarily all it’s cracked up to be. Believe it or not as a monosexual you do have certain “privileges” that bisexual people find we often don’t have.

    The monosexual privilege checklist

    1. Society assures me that my sexual identity is real and that people like me exist.
    2. When disclosing my sexual identity to others, they believe it without requiring me to prove it.
    3. I can feel sure that upon disclosing my sexual identity, people accept that it’s my real/actual sexual identity (rather than anything other than I said).
    4. I am never considered closeted when disclosing my sexual identity.
    5. Perception/acceptance of my sexual identity is generally independent of my choices of relationships, partners and lifestyle.
    6. It is unlikely that disclosing my sexual identity will be taken as a sexual offer or a sign of sexual consent.
    7. I can be confident that people don’t misname my sexual identity or use different identities to describe my identity when speaking about me.
    8. When seen with a partner I’m dating, I can be certain to be recognized as a member of my sexual identity group.
    9. I never have to worry about successfully passing as a member of my sexual identity group or as a member of my community.
    10. I do not have to choose between either invisibility (“passing”) or being consistently “othered” and/or tokenized based on my sexual identity.
    11 I am never blamed for upholding heteropatriarchy** or cisgender privilege because of the word that I use to identify my sexuality.
    12. My politics are not questioned based on the the word that I use to identify my sexuality.
    13. I feel welcomed at appropriate services or events that are segregated by sexual identity (such as “general” i.e. straight clinics, gay community centers, lesbian-only events, etc.)
    14. If I’m cisgender, I am accepted and celebrated as a part of “queer” space or movement. If I’m an ally, I am applauded for my support of the queer movement.
    15. If I’m cisgender, queer or gay people will not try to exclude me from our movements in order to gain political legitimacy for themselves. I am never accused of “giving the movement a bad name” or of “exploiting” the movement.
    16. I can feel sure that if I choose to enter a monogamous relationship, my friends, community or my partner will continue to accept my sexual identity, without expecting or pressuring me to change it.
    17. I needn’t worry about potential partners shifting instantly from amorous to disdain, humiliation or verbal violence because of my sexual identity.
    18. I can cheat on my partners or act badly in a relationship without having other people put this down to my sexual identity or have my behaviour reflect badly on all the people in my sexual identity group.
    19. I can choose to be in a polyamorous relationship without being accused of reinforcing stereotypes against my sexual identity group.
    20. I can fairly easily find representations of people of my sexual identity group and my lifestyle in the media and the arts. I encounter such representations without needing to look hard.
    21. If I encounter a fictional, historical or famous figure of my sexual identity, I can be sure that s/he will be named as such in the text or by the media, reviewers and audience.
    22. I often encounter the word I use to identify myself in the media and the arts. When I hear or read it, I am far less likely to find it in the context of its denial.
    23. I can find, fairly easily, reading material, institutions, media representations, etc. which give attention specifically to people of my sexual identity.
    24. I can feel certain that normal everyday language will include my sexual identity (“straight and gay alike”, “gay and lesbian”, etc.)
    25. If I am cisgender, I am far less likely to suffer from intimate violence.
    26. If I am cisgender, I am less likely to suffer from depression or to contemplate suicide.
    27. If I am cisgender, I am far less likely to suffer from poverty.
    28. I am more likely to feel comfortable being open about my sexual identity at work.
    29. I have access to information about the prevalence of STI’s in my community as well as prevention methods that are suitable for me.
    30. If I live in a city, I can expect to find medical care that will suit my own particular needs.
    31. I am less likely to risk my health by avoiding medical treatment.
    32. Wronging me on grounds of my sexual identity or sexual behaviour is taken seriously:
    * Those who wrong me are expected to know that it is hurtful, and are considered accountable whether or not they intended to wrong me.
    * I have easy access to people who understand that this wrong is unacceptable, and who will support me.
    * I have easy access to resources and people to educate someone who wronged me, if I am not feeling up to it.
    * If I am being wronged, I can expect that others who are around will notice
    33. When I express my sexual identity in my daily life, I can reasonably expect not to be considered unstable, unreliable, indecisive, untrustworthy or in need of help.
    34. I can worry about issues specific to people of my sexual identity group without being seen as self-interested, self-seeking or divisive.
    35. I can remain oblivious of the language, culture, history and politics of bisexuality and bisexual people without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
    36. I have the privilege of not being aware of my privileges.

    Please note: I did not compile this list and although I generally agree with it I do concede that not all the monosexual privileges which gay men and lesbians have are presently universally recognized.

  • Shannon1981

    @Geri: I think what it boils down to is this: we all have our own narrow window of oppression and privilege, subcultures within a subculture. We will never see from one another’s perspective. I learned that the hard way when I dated my very first bisexual girlfriend- a big reason we didn’t work out was because of the whole oppression olympics thing, and, eventually, she really started to feel how my lesbian friends resented her for being a part of the circle and me for being a traitor for bringing her in and on and on. There will always be these little divisions. I agree with some of the list, Geri, but not all or even most of it. Our own perceptions/experiences shape everything.

  • Me

    People can’t honestly be mad at them… Misery loves company?

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