PHOTOS: Hey Abercrombie & Fitch, We Love These Beefy Guys! & Fitch finally apologized  for its chairman and CEO Mike Jeffries’ ham-handed comments declaring A&F intentionally exclusionary, read “fat people ain’t cool.” Well, some aren’t, but there are plenty of skinny bitches, as well. Anyway…people were outraged, including the 18-year old with an eating disorder who got 68,000 people to sign an online petition at, and Ellen, who nailed A&F with this fairly genius bit of proactive political monologue-ing on her show the other day.

Not to be left out, and in the spirit of piling on, here’s our response to Jeffries in the form of an appreciation of big guys we’d love to undress (such as Chris Pratt, pictured), or at least admire terribly, however tight their A&F polo might be.


Seth Rogan

His regular-guy, not-much-luck-with-the ladies image and stamp of approval from Barbra Streisand make him one of our favorites.

Chris Pratt

The comic Parks and Recreation actor dropped some lbs. for his role in the Oscar-nominated Zero Dark Thirty.

Jason Segel (1)Jason Segal

This star of How I Met Your Mother and The Muppets better stop losing weight before he falls off this list. Super adorable, any size.


William Howard Taft

This was a big man who didn’t let his 300-lb-plus figure stop him from becoming both president of the United States and Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. That’s huge!


Louis CK

CK’s insights on the human condition are dangerously self-lacerating, blue, and really f-ing funny. And funny is hot!


Orson Welles

The genius behind, and title character in, Citizen Kane was a good-looking man of a thousand faces, but above all just really damn smart. And smart is sexy!


Henry VIII

The fact that Jonathan Rhys Meyers stars in The Tudors has nothing to with our attraction to Elizabeth I’s dad. We just like men in tights, with big appetites, who are royal, and can off their spouses when they’re done with them.


Vinny Guadagnino

The Jersey Shore star is beefy, sure, but fruity? According to one-time fling Snooki, hooking up with him was “like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.” Like we said, we like big guys!


Alec Baldwin

Back in his Hunt for Red October days, Baldwin was a callow youth — smokin sexy — but who doesn’t think Jack Donaghey filling out a bepoke suit is one of the hottest men alive?


Cee Lo Green

Hmm. Maybe if he was taller?


Jack Black

Still big, but needs to get back to being funnier. Bloated isn’t sexy.


Kenan Thompson

Still big and adorable all these years after Kenan and Kel? What’s up with that?!



Marlon Brando

The original sexiest man alive became a Hollywood giant after smoldering across the silver screen in A Streetcar Named Desire and later in Last Tango in Paris. He got really big around Apocalypse Now, but never lost his onscreen charisma. “The horror…” never sounded so sexy.


Zack Galifianakis

A comic genius who barely fits between two ferns. How sexy is that?



Jimmy Kimmel

We used to think he was an asshole, but now he’s pretty cool.