PHOTOS: Nine Notable Bisexual Men

Months ahead of the premiere of the news program he’ll host on MSNBC, Ronan Farrow has already got people talking. The Yale-educated, child prodigy, activist son of Mia Farrow (and either Woody Allen or Frank Sinatra) is reported to dig both the ladies and the gentlemen. If true, he’s in good company with other men who make up the B in our LGBTQ acronym. Check out these nine other notable bisexual men.


JD 2

James Dean

James Dean dated Hollywood beauties Ursula Andress and Pier Angeli. However, like his contemporaries Marlon Brando and Montgomery Clift, he also had sexual relationships with men. When questioned about his “experimental” sexuality in 1954, the Rebel Without A Cause star reportedly replied, Well, I’m certainly not going through life with one hand tied behind my back.

Greg araki

Gregg Araki

Gregg Araki is a rare example of someone who initially self-identified as gay prior to coming out as bisexual.  In 1997 the Mysterious Skin director dated actress Kathleen Robertson who starred in his films, Nowhere and Splendor. Their relationship lasted for two years. Araki said he received some negative feedback from the gay community; telling The New York Times in 2011, “The reaction from the gay community was kind of hypocritical and weird, the fact that I was so judged by a community that doesn’t want to be judged themselves.”


David Bowie

The king of Glam rock is perhaps the person most responsible for bringing bisexuality into the mainstream vernacular. Bowie “outed” himself in an interview with the UK rock newspaper Melody Maker in 1972. In an interview with Playboy in 1976 he said, “It’s true — I am a bisexual. But I can’t deny that I’ve used that fact very well. I suppose it`s the best thing that ever happened to me. Fun, too.” Coincidentally, (or not) Bowie’s first wife, Angela Bowie would later write a book called Bisexuality: A Pocket Guide.

Billy joe

Billy Joe Armstrong

Billy Joe Armstrong shocked more than a few rock fans in an interview with The Advocate in 1995. “I think I’ve always been bisexual,” the Green Day singer courageously said. “I mean, it’s something that I’ve always been interested in. I think people are born bisexual, and it’s just that our parents and society kind of veer us off into this feeling of ‘Oh, I can’t.’ They say it’s taboo. It’s ingrained in our heads that it’s bad, when it’s not bad at all. It’s a very beautiful thing.”

 alan cumming

Alan Cumming

Tony Award-winning actor Alan Cumming (Cabaret) has long considered himself to be bisexual “although the pendulum has obviously swung” as Cumming has been married to graphic artist Grant Shaffer for nearly seven years. He was married previously to actress Hilary Lyon for eight years and had a two-year relationship with bisexual actress, Saffron Burrows. “The gay community tries to claim you, the straight community tries to claim you,” Cumming told Oasis magazine in 2007. “But I felt that was more for press stuff, because I just felt I was being misrepresented a lot of the time, mostly with people saying I was straight. It is confusing for people because I’d been married before. Now I’m married again, to a man, but I’d been married to a woman, and gone out with women. But amongst my friends, amongst people I’d known, I was always bisexual.’

clive davis

Clive Davis

The music mogul and former head of Arista Records is credited with discovering Whitney Houston. In his 2013 autobiography The Sound Track of My Life, Davis revealed he spent the last 20 years in relationships with two men. Although previously married and twice divorced from women, Davis was with a male doctor for 13 years and has been with another unnamed male partner for the past seven years. Davis said, “I never stopped being attracted to women. Bisexuality is misunderstood; the adage is that you’re either straight or gay or lying, but that’s not my experience. To call me anything other than bisexual would be inaccurate.”

joe dallesandro

Joe Dallesandro

“Superstar” Joe Dallesandro starred as the sexually ambivalent hunk du-jour in a string of Warhol films in the late ’60s and early ’70s; Flesh, Trash and Heat. “Little Joe” has been married to three different women over the years but appears to (somewhat reluctantly) still consider himself bisexual. In Michael Ferguson’s excellent biography Little Joe Superstar, Dallesandro revealed, “I consider myself bisexual. It wasn’t that I was sexually attracted to men per se, but if you do something for a while you can acquire a taste for it.”

michael stipe

Michael Stipe

Reporters frequently questioned the R.E.M. front man about his sexuality in the 1990s. In 1994 Stipe described himself as “an equal opportunity lech,” and said he did not define himself as gay, straight, or bisexual, but that he was attracted to, and had relationships with, both men and women. By 2011 he was leaning more towards men. Speaking with the Observer in 2011 Stipe said, “On a sliding scale of sexuality I’d place myself around 80-20, but I definitely prefer men to women. I had sex with, and enjoyed sex with, women until I met someone that I fell in love with, and who is now my boyfriend.”

 frank ocean

Frank Ocean

Frank Ocean made waves in the music industry when he boldly announced, via Tumblr, that he had, unexpectedly fallen in love with a man when he was 19 years old. “I met somebody,” he wrote. “I was 19 years old. He was too. We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost. And on the days we were together, time would glide. Most of the day I’d see him, and his smile. I’d hear his conversation and his silence… until it was time to sleep. Sleep I would often share with him. By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless.” However, when asked by GQ magazine in December 2012 if he considers himself bisexual Ocean replied, “You can move to the next question. I’ll respectfully say that life is dynamic and comes along with dynamic experiences, and the same sentiment that I have towards genres of music, I have towards a lot of labels and boxes and shit.”

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  • jimbryant

    The problem with the word “bisexual” is that it is inadequate. It is inadequate because it fails to account for the sexual dynamic that exists in men who are mainly attracted to women as compared with men who are mainly attracted to men. There is a huge difference in the sexual dynamic between these two groups of “bisexual” men.

    Men who are mainly attracted to women will, for all intents and purposes, behave like exclusively straight men. On the other hand, men who are mainly attracted to men will, for all intents and purposes, behave like exclusively gay men.

    This is why the word “bisexual” is flawed.

  • ArtsyBabe

    What does behaving like a straight or a gay man even mean???? Sounds like you need to pigeon hole people.

  • jimbryant


    It simply means where you hang out, how you relate to the same/opposite sex, whether your goal in life is to marry and have kids etc etc. Use your thinking caps.

  • ArtsyBabe

    So yes bisexual is a real thing then because you can want to marry and have children with both sexes. It depends on who you are having a relationship and loving at that particular time. I didn’t know gay men only hang out at certain places. Do you think a gay man won’t enjoy some wings at a Hooters? Or maybe straight men don’t like to shop or pick out paint colors?? That’s just being narrow minded.

  • jimbryant

    If you bother to read my post, you will see that I have been very precise with words, unlike you.

  • KiraNerysRules

    ArtsyBabe, I think jimbryant is only conveying there’s a spectrum of being bisexual. Not all bisexuals have a 50/50 attraction to both sexes. He is only taking issue with the word “bisexual,” not people who identify as bisexual.

  • Jake357

    Ever notice how must people read comments in an adversarial fashion, as if awaiting a phrase that will offend their delicate sensibilities? The new global past time: being offended.

  • tdx3fan

    @jimbryant: I was unaware that gay men and straight men behaved completely differently. Hell, that is news to a lot of gay men that I know. I see what you were going for, but there are plenty of straight guys that like Lady Gaga, and there are plenty of gay guys that like tractor pulls and monster truck rallies. Where we put our dick has very little to do with how our personalities are formed.

  • tdx3fan

    @jimbryant: My goal and life is to marry and have kids and I like dick! :)

  • tdx3fan

    @Jake357: I do not read in an adversarial fashion. I actually appreciate the comment that was made, but if you read anything but stereotypes out of it then it is beyond me how you accomplish that. If he would have left it at “some men like chicks more than dick and some men like dick more than chicks” then by all means I would agree. However, he tried to lump all straight men together and say that they are different from all gay men. I just wonder how he arrives at this conclusion. My guess is a lack of exposure to both worlds and a very narrow world view.

  • DarkZephyr

    @jimbryant: not all bisexual men are the way you describe. My fiance is bisexual and before he was with me he had been married to a woman. He fathered a child with her, was monogamous with her. At some point after their divorce he fell in love with me. He is now completely faithful and loyal to me and we are monogomous. We are going to marry and have a life together. Anyway, my point here is that based on your logic he switched from being straight to being gay, which is not accurate. He has always been bisexual.

  • Dev.C

    I don’t know what kumbaya world some of you live in but straight men and gay men are different. Regardless of the of social descriptions such as masculine and feminine, sexual appetites are rarely that flexible.
    Most people who coin the world Bisexual try to seem as sexually flexible as possible but usually lend to one sexuality over the other. This list of men isn’t a very good one because most of these men are exclusive to one sexuality if they like to admit it or not. James Dean is a throw up because most of old Hollywood’s goal was trying to hide and homosexuality, so it more likely that James Dean is gay than a true Bisexual. As for people like David Bowie, Billy Joel Armstrong and Joe Dallesandro they have exclusive relationships with women, so regardless if they have male f**k buddies they identify more with a heterosexual lifestyle. It’s rare to be a true bisexual in this world because it’s hard to find a adequate partner with the same taste. Even self titled bisexual pornstars tend to be exclusive to one sex over the other. I know we want to all feel like defining sexuality is a horrible thing, but we define our selves as straight, Gay, truly Bisexual or Transgender for a reason. people aren’t all that different but they are different enough that we shouldn’t have the need for social or sexual pretense.

  • balehead

    Labels are for clothes….

  • sangsue

    I’m a bisexual woman. I got married after dating men and after being married to a man, I fell in love with a woman and was with her for three years but she had to hide me from her parents and sister and couldn’t deal with the double life anymore. I’m attracted more to the person than the gender but I’d have to say I enjoy sex more with women and feel more emotionally attached to a man. Sexuality is a fluid thing, I understand that a lot of gays and lesbians hate bisexuals because they feel it doesn’t exist but it does exist because I am truly bisexual.

  • Jason b.

    Using standard statistics sexuality can be modeled very well by the bell curve. In this model a group has a standard, in this case attraction to other humans. 78% of humans fall within 1 std. Deviation of either side of the std., 98% fall within 3. The unknown is the true standard. Societal mores and pressures make it extremely difficult to know what mix of attraction the un-constrained human has. Given an interesting study by 20 something’s in Britain via a very obfuscated questionaire that resulted in 20% claiming not to be heterosexual, they didn’t identify gay or bi either, it is more and more likely that the true standard isn’t 100% straight. In 20-30 years, we will likely see a more clear picture.

  • Dxley

    Who are these guys?

  • Caliban

    Joe Dallesandro’s comment is interesting to me, that homosexuality can be an “acquired taste.”

    I’ve wondered about that a bit in reference to so-called “gay for pay” gay porn actors. If the director or producer of a porn film asks “which of the other cast members would you like to do a scene with?” then they actually ARE rating other men on criteria of appeal to themselves.

    Otherwise it would be “I’m just here for the paycheck so you can trot out anyone.” But within that somewhat narrow context, choosing between guy A or B (or C or D), by saying I wouldn’t mind doing it with HIM as opposed to the other guy they’ve actually placing other men on a hierarchy of attractiveness and/or sexual appeal.

  • Elloreigh

    The problem (if it’s indeed a problem), is that the word ‘bisexual’ covers more than one group of people. So do ‘gay’ and ‘straight’ for that matter. People don’t fit neatly into boxes where they are 100% same-sex oriented, 50/50 bisexual, or 100% opposite-sex oriented, and everything we might be tempted to think goes along with those definitions of orientation. Nor is orientation necessarily a fixed point on the scale. At any given time, one might be feeling more gay than on another, for example.

    Of course, there is the question of orientation vs. behavior vs. identity, and the latter in terms of both sexuality and gender, along with gender expression. Labeling them doesn’t make them entirely discreet and separate from each other in real life.

    Finally, sangsue brings up the excellent point of sexual enjoyment versus emotional connection, adding another layer to our relationships. Consider as well men who identify as and otherwise live as heterosexuals, but who have developed a fetish for gay porn. Calling them bi doesn’t fit, because a fetish isn’t the same thing as an orientation.

    It’s a topic where language utterly fails to communicate the varying degrees and nuances of the human experience. Still, with regard to labels, certainly we should feel free to choose and use those that we feel apply to our situation. It’s much easier than trying to be precise and explicit in describing what we’re feeling/thinking/doing at every moment. We should just keep in mind that the labels are a way of shorthanding the description, and try to avoid making overly broad assumptions or falling for stereotypes based on words alone.

  • Elloreigh

    @Caliban: Not necessarily based on physical attributes of attractiveness and/or sexual appeal alone. For lack of a better term, I’ll have to use the suitably vague and imprecise term of ‘chemistry’. No doubt issues of trust play a role as well. Not to mention the fetishizing of sexual acts/situations mentioned in an earlier post.

    In short, it’s probably way more complex than just seeing another actor as ‘hot’.

  • MK Ultra

    @jimbryant: Weren’t you the one on another Queerty article who said that bisexuality proves gay men can become straight, and for those who can’t there’s always celibacy.
    Yeeeaaah, I think er’body up in here knows what you’re about.

  • Yoco

    Frank is Ocean is not Bisexual .He has never said he was Bisexual . According to his friends Tyler the Creator, Madonna, John Legend ,Beyonce… He is Gay

  • larrygentry

    I’m bisexual–buy me something and I’ll be sexual. :)

  • Dev.C

    @Yoco: John Legend is one to talk, he’s the biggest closet queen ever. You can’t be gay and a mega successful singer. He dated Carl Thomas once upon a time ago; I’m not sure if that means he’s Bisexual or not, but I’m just pretty sure he’s a liar.

  • jimbryant

    A lot of my critics on this board are not accurately reflecting my position. The only poster who has accurately reflected it is KiraNeryaRules.

    Just to repeat what I said earlier: the single word “bisexual” is not adequate to describe a vast range of sexual dynamics that exists within a group of men – I’ll use men as an example for reasons I’ll describe later – who are attracted to men and women. Indeed, it is wholly inadequate.

    It is such a general word that it has lost its meaning and its precision.

  • jimbryant

    Here is an example of why the word “bisexual” has lost its meaning and is imprecise. In common usage, the word “bisexual” is often used together with words like homosexual and heterosexual to describe the sexual orientation of people. However, there is NO SUCH THING as a bisexual sex act. There are only heterosexual and homosexual sex acts.

  • Dev.C

    I’m never going to understand people rejecting parts of their identity, “You don’t want to be labeled or want people to tell you who are”. Well being a homosexual is not something that is taught like being a heterosexual clearly is. there is a great feeling of rejection for being gay, within one’s self and others, that even after acceptance is hard to break. fluidity in sexuality is something that seems more tied to emotion than anything else.
    I don’t feel foolish or unevolved because I know I’m a gay man and also love/accept my label as such.

    Being a bisexual comes off as the ideal these days for romantically weary individuals searching for a soul mate. If one has no label or sexual ties to orientation than they have less risk of getting hurt or failing in love, or possibly they are at more of a risk.

  • CreoClay

    Jim Bryant, who the Hell are you? Any relation to Anita Bryant?

    Look here, haas. I’m bi whether you have a stick up your Ass or not.
    You want a bisexual sex act? How about fucking a girl while being fucked by a guy, or eating out a girl while she’s getting fucked? Pretty darn bi.

    But your logic is riddled with fallacies. And you have only opinions, not science or n anecdotes. GTFO

  • boring

    Stealing a joke from Chris Fairbanks: I’m not bisexual, my penis just has a little bit of a sweet tooth.

    List is pretty solid, despite the fact that Gregg Araki has only made one good movie and Green Day was pretty good when I was 13 and hated everything.

  • jimbryant


    You’re silly. Now repeat after me: there is no such thing as a bisexual sex act. What you describe is an act with a man and a woman simultaneously, a combination of hetero and homo. They are two separate acts performed in a threesome situation.

    The supreme atrocity in your line of thinking is that you are equating bisexuality with threesomes. You perfectly illustrate the dangers of loose phraseology.

  • boring

    For reference, I describe my bisexuality as such: the idea of closing out an entire gender is completely baffling to me, because, when I look at gay dudes, I wonder how they could be 100% gay when Christina Hendricks is a living, breathing human being. Just as I look at straight dudes and wonder how they could be 100% straight when Ryan Gosling walks the earth.

    This is why DRIVE is the greatest movie ever made, by the way.

  • Kieran

    You forgot Elton John who used to say he was bisexual too.

  • jar

    All of this mishegas about bi- v. homosexuality would be cleared up if bisexual people openly identified as bi in their lives and seek out other bisexual people. I am sick and tired of the tendentious rants by people like Araki (whose films I like) that somehow the gay community is so judgmental. If bisexuals formed their own community, they could stop complaining about how badly they’re treated. Why is it that I never hear bisexuals complain about how the straight community rejects them? I would argue, because they pass as straight in most cases (at work, with family, in hetero social situations).

  • Ruhlmann

    Sexuality is a sliding scale for the majority of our species. I have slept with and loved both men and women all my life and have met both men and women who identify as heterosexual but given opportunity or circumstance have jumped the fence once, a few times or often. It’s all one community even if the extremists on both sides don’t want to admit that.

  • Yoco

    @Dev.C: John Legend sexuality has nothing to do with the fact that Frank Ocean has never stated he was bisexual yet these blogs keep saying he is bisexual.None of his friends have stated he was Bisexual.Several of his friends have stated he was Gay .Tyler just said Frank is Gay a few days ago on Arsenio, several members of OF have stated he was Gay.On Reditt Madonna was asked which Gay man you would make straight, her answer Frank Ocean.
    So I am at a lost why people are putting him on a list of Bisexual men.Why? Granted he said hell doesn’t like labels but if you are going to label him why label him Bisexual? Especially on a Gay blog.

  • s312g

    James Dean was actually gay, not bi.

  • jimbryant


    You’re using the same flawed logic that you accuse others of using. Why the heck are you relying on hearsay to justify your views on Frank Ocean?

  • Rockery

    Frank Ocean is so much better looking when you can’t see his gap teeth!

  • Kangol


    Hasn’t Frank Ocean sung and spoken about dating women? Maybe that’s why Queerty is placing him on this list. It is a spectrum, so if he’s with women at all “bisexual” isn’t an incorrect way to describe him.

    To @boring:

    Glad to hear you find women sexually attractive. Not every man or woman does. There’s also the issue of gender. Some “gay” men find butch women hot, but not femme women. Does that make them bisexual? No one ever talks about that.

  • Yoco

    @jimbryant: His best friends, the guys he calls his brothers confirm/ say he is Gay .His mom, sister and brother confirm he is Gay on twitter and IG, John Legend says he is Gay in Time Magazine.
    versus strangers on blogs claiming he is Bisexual.I will stick with my flawed logic, Bye.

  • Dev.C

    Elizabeth Taylor said something about fooling around with James Dean but she also commented that he was obviously gay and troubled. In fact most celebrities who knew James Dean all said he was gay and very familiar with the gay club scene and language of the times.

    So I’m also a little boggled as to why he is even on this list?

  • Yoco

    @Kangol: @Kangol: Most Gay men I know have Dated women at some point so I guess they are really Bisexual too.Im going to bed Enough time wasted on this topic.Have a lovely evening.

  • jimbryant


    What would Liz Taylor know about James Dean’s sexuality? How do you know her interpretation wasn’t flawed?

    It’s amazing how many of you rely on women’s opinions of male sexuality. Since when are women experts on male sexuality?

  • isaiah77721

    @jimbryant: Responding to your numerous posts as one, you clearly have your OWN personal definition of bisexuality. Which is fine. But you can’t tell someone else what they identify as IS or IS NOT a thing. I have friend who primarily identifies as a lesbian, has had relationships, and would again with men, but got married to a preop trans FM, and now identifies as queer. I don’t necessarily agree with all the “identification switching”, but who am I to judge? To me, she’ll always be my dyke. And you are focused on the ACT of sex, to define how one should identify, when that is an incorrect way to look at it. It is the ATTRACTION that someone identifies with. While I agree most people are not 50/50, “bisexual” in it’s simplest definition means both- not the mathematical breakdown. I think if you focus on the ACT, then following that mindset.. say one person identifies as STRAIGHT, and another identifies as GAY- but both are virgins- would you tell them they were both wrong and assign them a different orientation? Absolutely not.

  • isaiah77721

    @jar: Then you would argue incorrectly. They should form their own community? People like you are clearly the problem. I am bi. I am out. I have friends that are bi. Straight people rarely seem to care. I have seen that judgment from the gay community, and it’s often “you’re lying”, or “I don’t trust bisexuals” (because somehow they are twice as likely to cheat on you, and it’s probably going to be with the opposite sex… it’s ignorant. We have a community already: It’s encompassed in the L.G.B.T.Q. We aren’t going to hide like some bridge trolls or pariah of the “alternative” community.

  • jimbryant


    You’re delving in the realm of opinion, not fact. Opinions are in no way, shape or form the same as facts.

    Your lesbian friend appears to be a confused woman who uses her sexuality as a ploy. Women can do this because they don’t need to be aroused to have sex. It’s also possible that she is hormonally unbalanced and has fallen victim to the porny branch of feminism which insists that all women must act bi.

  • GeriHew

    @jimbryant: The word “bisexual” is no more or less flawed than the words “heterosexual” and “homosexual”.

  • jimbryant

    Women have very narrow views of male sexuality. The problem with a lot of gay men is that they have adopted these same narrow views. It’s partly due to the fact that feminism has created a pro-female political correctness in Western countries (the USA, Britain, Australia, most of Europe), a political correctness that has been adopted by gay men in the name of inter-gender harmony.

    What do I mean by women having very narrow views of male sexuality? Here’s a little background. Women are taught from a young age that they must be desirable to men. When a woman grows up and finds that not all men find her desirable, she rationalizes away her lack of desirability by pinning the blame on the man’s sexuality.

    “Oh, he’s gay…that’s why he doesn’t find me desirable” is a common refrain of such women. It’s a means of protecting herself from the threatening notion that not all men may find her desirable.

    This tendency of women to call men – including exclusively heterosexual men – who do not find her desirable “gay” is the key here.
    Thus, if you, as a male, don’t find all women desirable, you “must be gay”. You cannot be a discerning heterosexual male according to the pro-female political correctness of the modern era. If you are a bisexually oriented male, then you must also “be gay” if you don’t find a particular woman desirable.

    This awful attempt by women to classify any man who does not find her desirable as “gay” has contributed to the narrow perceptions that gay men have developed in relation to male sexuality, including male bisexuality.

  • EllynRuth

    Hmmm, I’d have to contradict your comment in Greg Araki’s section that he is “a rare example of someone who previously self-identified as gay prior to coming out as bisexual.” People think this is rare, but it is extremely common to find people in the bi community who had earlier come out as gay or lesbian. And there are many people who pass as gay or lesbian who self-identify as bisexual but don’t want to deal with the biphobia from gays and lesbians so that stay closeted. Human sexuality is complex and sometimes it takes a while for it all to be discovered.

  • Dev.C

    @jimbryant: But yet you believe this list claiming him as a Bisexual. Well I’m not sure Elizabeth Taylor was telling the truth about having sex with him because Rock Hudson got to him first ( well actually Marlon Brando hit it first). Considering the list of male actor James had sex with and not including his longterm gay “roommate”. Any relationship James Dean had with a woman was probably for the sake of his career, My point is that James Dean being called a Bisexual is a save from Hollywood trying to hide the fact that he’s was and still is a GAY ICON. You couldn’t have a gay leading man then ( Well Rock Hudson, but he faded after he came out) and he can’t be proved to be gay now because his brand still caters to women. James Dean had a tough life because he wasn’t allowed to be who he really was and even in death he is owned by greedy Companies who make money of his Straight boy false Image.

  • Dev.C

    @EllynRuth: Actually I find quite the opposite to be common, for men who come out as bisexual to later identify as Homosexual. I don’t understand why the topic of Bisexuals always becomes a fight amongst the LGBT community. I honestly don’t see the issue with people identifying as Bisexual, but I hate this idea that because you Identify as Gay or Straight than you are tied down to labels and not sexually evolved enough. I have been around countless women in my life, beautiful women, but I have no desire ,hidden or surfaced, to actually have sex with one. It would be so pretentious for me to subscribe to omnisexual/Bisexual lifestyle because it seems progressive.
    It’s hard enough fighting for my Gay identity with christians who see my sexuality as some devil induced coma meant to kill of the human race. From a gay perspective Bisexuals are easier to except in common society because Straights view your same-sex attraction as a phase or conversation piece. Being a gay man or woman means they have to reevaluate the absolute that you will not show a mirrored Heterosexual lifestyle.
    At the end of the day it all depends on personal experience and little to no judgment should be placed on any person based upon their sexuality.


    I dunno, I guess technically I’m bi, but then some would disagree, because I don’t act on both sides. I “feel” more like gay than bi because experientially that’s been more my reality. Overall my desire is more consistent with guys, so if I was pressed, mainly in order to avoid the hassle and potential negativity, it’s easier to identify as gay.

    And yet for the last five years the porn I’ve being fapping to focuses almost entirely on big asses, tits, and pussy. I’ve only ever watched straight porn (for the guys, initially), i’ve never had the inclination to watch gay porn, and when I have seen always turned me off. Not a fan of anal at all. But even watching two guys just suck dick (as opposed to participating in it) is a wood killer for me. I know it’s fucked up.

    And yet my “bisexuality” these only extends as far as porn and JO fantasies. In real life I don’t want the hassle and embarrassment of jumping back over the fence (not now I’m pushing 40! ). I stick to what I know best and what my experience (since 13) has made me more comfortable with — guys. If I could start over again things might be different. Only they probably wouldn’t because my sexuality was different when I was a teen, I was definitely just gay.

    A big part of my own reluctance to adopt a once-and-for-all label is the fear of inauthenticity, considering the fact of the present state of affairs vis-à-vis my sexuality has changed over time. When I was younger I didn’t have the capacity, or my brain wasn’t wired, to “get” the aesthetics of a woman’s sexual appeal. It wasn’t until I hit my 30s that “something” clicked into place that maybe it emerged slowly over time as if from a sexy fog and then solidified through the reinforcement of a lot of internet porn. Therefore In the context of such shifting uncertain ground, and the possibility it might change again. I can understand some individuals reluctance to label themselves. But with others I don’t discount the special snowflake syndrome. I wish I could just be gay or clearly 50/50 bisexual cause I’m truly fucked up. For real.

  • bipaganman

    @jimbryant: So you don’t understand bisexuality so you blame the label.

  • Alan down in Florida

    My f*ck buddy is a middle aged married Mormon grandfather. Since he is still having sex regularly with his wife in addition to me I guess he would be considered bisexual but he’s not – he just prefers certain sexual acts his wife won’t do that I will. And there are things I’d like him to do that he won’t. Yet somehow we make it work. He loves her and won’t ever leave her and he likes but doesn’t love me. He just likes sex and isn’t especially particular which gender provides it.

  • GeriHew

    @tdx3fan: Quite a lot of people like chicks with dicks. Some of them exclusively. How do we define their sexuality?

  • etseq

    @EllynRuth: Bullshit – its the exact opposite and you know it. There is no such thing as “biphobia” there is only homophobia. People like you are the reason bisexuals get a bad name. You assume everyone is bisexual and lying – talk about smug. Bisexuals have done nothing for gay rights – they sit back and reap all the rewards for the hard work that we have done.
    Also, Greg Araki made some ridiculous movies that had some gay content (if you can even call it that – sexuality in his movies bordered on nihilism) and got a reputation as being gay. As far as anyone knew, he never officially came out as gay but he certainly didn’t deny it because it helped sell his movies. When he started dating women, he was criticized not for being bisexual but for basically letting people assume he was gay just to help his career.
    Finally, James Dean was gay – all his close friends, including Elizabeth Taylor, have confirmed it. Like most closeted actors, he had studio arranged girlfriends for hollywood events but it is doubtful he ever had sex with them.

  • GeriHew

    @etseq: Re: “Bisexuals have done nothing for gay rights – they sit back and reap all the rewards for the hard work that we have done.”

    You are wrong. And you are being biphobic.

    Brenda Howard, the “Mother Of Pride” ( she coordinated a rally and then the Christopher Street Liberation Day March to commemorate the first anniversary of the Stonewall riots) was a bisexual woman.

    Stephen Donaldson, founding member of the Student Homophile League (1967) was a bisexual man

    Sylvia Rivera founding member of both the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance was a bisexual transwoman

  • KyleD

    Queerty wrote: Gregg Araki is a rare example of someone who initially self-identified as gay prior to coming out as bisexual.

    That’s not true. I briefly identified as gay before coming out as bisexual and I’ve known plenty of other bisexuals who initially identified as gay.

  • DShucking

    I thought Little Joe was gay for pay. Nevertheless, beautiful man.

  • teargarden

    ” I like my beer cold, my tv loud and my homosexuals flaaaaaming!” Homer Simpson.

  • Paulie

    Hi everybody
    I have been with both women and men, in fact my very first sexual experience was with a guy in my class at age 15, so for a long time I thought of myself as bi, but now, I’m really interested way more in men, and I definitely now think of myself as gay…the point being that sexuality can change with time, and is not always rigidly gay or straight for a person’s entire life

  • Mezaien

    Franke, babe come sit on my face for as long as you like.

  • Clark35

    EllynRuth-Yes it is very common. I’m bisexual but when I was a teenager and very young adult I identified as gay since that’s what I thought I was.

  • ethan_hines

    @jimbryant: Agreed, this is why Kinsey in 1948 developed the Kinsey scale to express sexual orientation. I am Kinsey 5

  • alphacentauri

    @Alan down in Florida: Umm your FB is bisexual. Are you?

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