false report

Rand Paul pissed authorities won’t investigate murder attempt against him that he clearly made up

Hey, remember when Senator Rand Paul claimed that he narrowly escaped death while walking back to his hotel from the White House in August then went on Fox News to call for an official investigation into the matter?

Well, it looks as though an official investigation will not be happening, and the anti-masker from Kentucky is not pleased about it.

In case you need a recap: At 12:39 in the morning on August 28, Paul tweeted: “Just got attacked by an angry mob of over 100, one block away from the White House. Thank you to @DCPoliceDept for literally saving our lives from a crazed mob.”

The next day, he went on Fox & Friends to call for the “paid anarchists” who threatened his life to be imprisoned. He also called for the FBI–yes the FBI–to investigate.

But not long after Rand claimed he and his wife were nearly murdered in cold blood in the busy streets of Washington, D.C., numerous videos began circulating online that presented a very different scenario.

Footage showed Rand walking alongside his wife and completely protected by a wall of police officers as a group of about a dozen reporters and perfectly peaceful protestors snapped photos, shouted questions, and pleaded with him to speak up in support of Black Lives Matter.

Now, Rand is pissed because Michael Sherwin, the U.S. attorney for the District of Columbia, has just informed him that his office is not going to waste valuable time and resources investigating the situation.

“The DC U.S. Attorney today confirmed to me that they will not pursue an investigation of who is funding the thugs who attacked my wife and me and sent a DC police officer to the hospital,” he announced in a racially-coded tweet yesterday.

We think it’s safe to say the FBI won’t be looking into it either.

Sherwin’s office has not issued any comment on the matter… probably because they’re too busy leading actual investigations into actual crimes.

Related: Rand Paul said he was nearly killed by a “crazed mob” last night… video shows the exact opposite