hot mess express

Republican candidates bicker over heels in their latest debate dumpster fire

Nikki Haley standing next to Ron DeSantis and Vivek Ramaswamy on the Republican debate stage.

With Donald Trump obliterating the GOP field, the afterthought candidates who were on the debate stage Wednesday night don’t enjoy a lot of room to maneuver. They could unveil the most brilliant policy proposals known to man, and none of it would matter.

There’s no way they’re going to compete with Trump, so why even bother?

That seems to be the attitudes of the futile five — Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis, Nikki Haley, Vivek Ramaswamy, Chris Christie and Tim Scott — all of whom come across as JV players. They bicker over nonsense and are fighting for scraps.

Meow! Meow!

The testiest exchanges last night were between Haley and Ramaswamy, who clearly despise one another. Out of nowhere, Ramaswamy brought up Haley’s daughter, prompting the former U.N. secretary to call him “scum.”

Is it too late for Mean Girls The Musical to add a new number?

When Ramaswamy wasn’t invoking Haley’s family or begging Tucker Carlson, Joe Rogan and Elon Musk to moderate the debate (thirsty much?), the unctuous businessman was talking about heels.

That’s right, heels. The biggest topic of the Republican Primary.

Over the last few weeks, long-held speculation about DeSantis’ footwear has reached a fever pitch, with the flailing Florida governor vehemently denying he wears platforms in his cowboy boots.

All video evidence points to the contrary, however.

On Wednesday, “Meatball Ron” struggled to find his footing when walking across the stage during a commercial break.

Obnoxiously online, Ramaswamy referenced the uproar over DeSantis’ alleged lifts when talking about foreign policy.

“Do you want a leader from a different generation who’s going to put this country first, or do you want Dick Cheney in three-inch heels? We’ve got two of them on stage tonight,” he said.

That’s actually…not a bad line! It would be funny if Ramaswamy weren’t so odious.

Speaking of odious, Haley wasn’t content to let that heel reference drop. Our girl wanted a piece of the action, too!

She posted her retort in real time.

“Vivek, I wear heels. They’re not for a fashion statement— they’re for ammunition,” wrote the ex-South Carolina governor.

Huh?!? Is she going to threaten to wear a boot on her head next? (Nope, that’s only DeSantis)…

Meanwhile, just 12 miles up the road from the debate in Miami, Trump was regaling his supporters with complete nonsense.

If only Haley or DeSantis’ heels could lift them up the polls…
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