boots boi

Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis rages about foot fetishes as his campaign spirals out of control

Ron DeSantis wearing a dark blazer, light blue dress shirt and red tie.

Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis insists he doesn’t wear boots with heels.

But he would wear a boot on his head.

Oh honey, this campaign is completely in the gutter!

The speculation over whether DeSantis wears platforms is reaching a fever pitch, with social media sleuths exposing the flailing governor on a near-daily basis. Every time DeSantis walks on stage, eyes gravitate towards his boots.

Heels up!

Now forced to address the controversy, DeSantis is trying to stomp out the notion that he inflates his height. His strongest repudiation came Thursday on Newsmax, when he told host Eric Bolling this is “no time” for foot fetishes.

“This is no time for foot fetishes,” declared the defeated candidate. “We’ve got serious problems as a country. We’ve got war in the Middle East, we’ve got terrorists coming across our Southern border. We have an American dream that’s out of reach for millions of Americans because of the ‘Bidenflation’ and the high energy prices. We’ve got schools that are indoctrinating kids, not educating kids, and we’ve got cities that are being overrun by crime.”

“I know people want to try and divert onto other issues. I know Donald Trump and a lot of his people have been focusing on things like footwear. I’ll tell you this, if Donald Trump can summon the balls to show up to the debate, I’ll wear a boot on my head. This is a time for substance!”

Uhh… nope! This is the time for more jokes about DeSantis’ boots. Sorry!

That’s right: DeSantis is so desperate, he’s copying Vermin Supreme, who promises free ponies, at least.

All DeSantis promises is culture wars and attacks on LGBTQ+ people.

We prefer the ponies! What do you say, cowgirl?

DeSantis, by the way, is polling closer to Supreme than Donald Trump…

A notorious social weirdo, he’s arguably TikTok’s favorite candidate this cycle. Users are placing the anti-gay governor at the center of the “sassy man apocalypse,” a stark contrast to the tough and masculine image he so desperately wants to portray.

One of the top videos has garnered more than 2 million views.

DeSantis might not even fetch that many votes this primary season!

Yes, governor! We do honestly believe that’s credible!

These jokes are so fun, of course, because of DeSantis’ faux-masculinity. As an example: he’s being credibly accused of wearing heels while he’s waging war against drag queens in his state. Florida is one of multiple states to pass an anti-drag law, making it a misdemeanor to knowingly admit a child into a show.

Demonizing LGBTQ+ people is at the heart of DeSantis’ nonviable political brand. His campaign put out a brutally homophobic ad over the summer, which was even condemned by the likes of George Santos and Richard Grenell.

The video in question features a barrage of homoerotic memes lifted from a dark corner of the internet called the “manosphere.” The men who hang out there believe homosexuality is part of a plot to eradicate traditional masculinity.

So naturally, they need a really masc guy like DeSantis to fight for their existence. Look at how he puffs out his chest when he tells this radio host he’s 5’11”.

DeSantis claims his boots, by the way, are “standard, off the rack Lucchese’s.”

Take that!

@spamellina

The way he nods yes, the way he tries to sit up straight and button his blazer to look taller, the way he almost pops the button off his blazer right after, the vein popping out of his head, these are a fee of my favorite things. #rhondasantis #hiddenheel #pleaserboots #pbdpodcast #pbdpodcastclips #rondesantis #performanceartist #napoleoncomplexfordogs #dogswhothinktheyrehumans #prostheticfeet #leglengthening #shortking #bitesize #qt #foryou #florida #republican #bodylanguage #pokerface #genderbender

? Mozart/Requiem “Lacrimosa”(1394506) – Mint

With DeSantis trailing Trump by roughly 30 points in Iowa, he obviously wants to elevate the conversation from footwear.

But it doesn’t seem like he has a choice! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!

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